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JUBILEE SITS ON my bed and Shoe takes my chair, so I have to stand there in my own room. It feels weird. Maybe I'm supposed to give a speech or have on a tie or something. I don't know. 

Everything about the moment feels awkward. A zillion questions pummel my skull. 

Why haven't I shown this to them, my two best friends? What was I afraid of? Or ashamed of?  

But on the other hand, why aren't I sitting down with Paps to write more and finish the book? Shouldn't I just be near him while I can, or to get him to tell me as many stories as I can bear to hear?  

I need to bottle him up, just the essence of Paps. That's what I need. 

"Sorry, guys. This is stupid. You don't want to see this." 

"The fuck we don't," says Shoe. "I want this book in my hands right now, young man." He's got his voice sounding like Mr. McManus, the principal, who he can mimic perfectly.  

"Yeah, Lewis. Don't puss out on us. We want to see it," Jubilee says. 

"Okay. Fine," I say. My hands are trembling. This is so stupid. 

I take the book out of the drawer and plop it on my desk. It's a big stack of loose pages that has edges poking out and crumpled parts. 

"Holy shit!" Shoe says. "You wrote a book by hand?" 

"Typewriter. Paps doesn't get computers," I say.  

"I do bite my thumb at ye, sir!" Shoe says. I guess that's something from a play because he does it in his really bad English accent. 

"Well, give it here," Jubilee says.  

"You want to read it? No! I mean, there it is, Paps and I wrote this. Here's the proof that I do stuff. A lot." 

"Yes we want to read it, you freak," she says. It's one of those things again--I'm stronger than her because I'm a guy and she's a girl, but there is nothing I can do to fight her off. It's like her Girl Aura freezes me in a spell and holds me still and in awe while I watch her get up and come over and grab the papers and then sit down on the bed. 

"What's it about, anyway?" asks Shoe. 

"This kid." I don't know how to explain it. How do you explain something that's so deeply a part of you? 

I hear Jubilee laugh and my spleen melts. 

"Sounds fasssssscinating," Shoe says. 

"He's the funniest kid in the world and..." 

"Shut your pie holes, you dorks. Shoe, get over here and read this." Jubilee is handing him the first page. While Shoe goes to sit next to her, she looks me over with this move where her eyes widen. It means a million things. It means Why Didn't You Tell Us About This and You're Crazy and Bless Your Heart Because Paps is Amazeballs and--I think--I'm Impressed. Very. 

I have to slump down into my chair because my knees explode when she looks at me like that. 

They make this conveyer belt where Jubilee reads a page and hands it to Shoe, and he reads it and then stacks it face down. Every now and then they laugh. Shoe looks up to say something and Jubilee hits him on his arm to shut him up. They laugh. They laugh a lot. I pretend to check my email and play with my phone but I can't do anything because I'm so nervous I could puke. 

Paps comes in when it gets dark and turns colder. He's so cool he doesn't say anything, but he smiles big and waits by the door. 

Finally they come to the end of the first chapter. Jubilee hands it over to Shoe. He reads it and smacks it down. 

Stealing The Show (Such Sweet Sorrow Trilogy, Book One)Where stories live. Discover now