Best + Bitter = Better

Now

Geoff had gone to the little cafe on campus with Jawn. He really had to get something off of his chest and, considering it was dark outside, he didn't think anybody would be there. He was right. They were ordering drinks - hot chocolate for both of them, extra whipped cream for Jawn - and waiting for them to be made.

Geoff takes a big breath, mentally preparing for what he's about to say. Jawn looks at him, so Geoff decides to bite the bullet and tell him. "Jawn. I think I hate gay people." He says out loud, confident that his statement will only reach the right ears. But, oh fuck, was he wrong.

Unfortunately, Geoff didn't hear the door open or see his favourite purple haired boy step in. He only heard the voice crack when Awsten asked, "What?" Awsten was wearing a jumper that was way too big for him and his chin was trembling; threatening to burst. Tears pooled in Awsten's two-tone eyes. He looked so vulnerable in that moment; like a kicked puppy.

Geoff turns to see him, he's standing in the doorway. "Aws..." He trails off because his brain can't process all the emotions he can see in Awsten's eyes, let alone develop speech. Geoff's face falls, and so does his heart - it drops into his stomach and now he doesn't feel like hot chocolate.

Awsten turns and runs out of the shop. Every bone in Geoff's body wanted, craved, itched to run after him, but he would only make the situation worse. Bugs started crawling in his stomach and it makes him feel like he's going to throw up. He doesn't. He only looks at Jawn, not knowing what to do. His chin quivers slightly and Jawn knows that this is bad.

"It's okay, bud. It'll be alright." Jawn smiles comfortingly, he grabs their drinks and shuffles to the far booth. Geoff sniffs and wipes his nose with the sleeve of his denim jacket. He aches to explain himself, but if he speaks, he'll cry. "Can you try to explain to me what you mean?" Jawn pries, as he gets comfortable.

Geoff slides into the booth and shrugs his shoulders. He takes a sip of the scorching hot cocoa; he deserves the pain for making someone, so beautiful, sad. Every hurtful thing he could say to himself swarms around his mind; he settles for useless.

-

Jawn has drunk an inch of his drink by the time Geoff speaks. "I just— I just get so annoyed, no angry... I get so angry when I see him and his boyfriend together. Everything they do is so couple-sey and irritating. I can't describe it, I just hate it." Geoff explains, he looks into the chocolate swirl and plays with his hands nervously under the table, awaiting a reply.

Jawn takes a moment to debate what should be said. "Can you pinpoint what annoys you exactly?" Geoff gives him a bored expression.

"I don't need a therapist, Jawn. I need a friend." He sighs and rolls his eyes. "But... I guess when they sit on his bed and read books — it, like, it disgusts me, I guess. I just get this feeling inside of me, I can't explain it. I don't know, oh god, I'm such a terrible person." Geoff stares at the table in shame, wrapping his fingers around the mug.

"Maybe you just don't like his boyfriend," Jawn suggests. It makes sense in Geoff's mind. He doesn't like it when they kiss or touch or when he's around in general.

"Yeah... Yeah, I think you're right. Thank you." Geoff is comfortable with himself not liking people. He is not comfortable being homophobic. He feels better about himself. Now, he just has to find a way to split them up because if he gets a funny feeling around people, they're probably trouble.