D:BH One shots

Broken Façade (Connor RK800 x reader)

This here is a gender neutral one too. Dis is angst

Y'all already know angst means sadness. There is no happy ending here.

(Name) POV

  It was all the time, where I'd feel like I had nothing. No one to rely on and no one to care for my well being like I cared about everyone else's. At the office, I'd became everyone's friend and they'd open up and tell me what would bug them on days where the bugging wouldn't stop. On days when a few of the ones who felt PTSD from certain things had expressed themselves and I helped them get through it most of the time. But when the time came for someone to be there and to give me something more than a materialistic item, no one was there. Nothing to cushion me if I fell and no one to pick up my pieces if I broke.

  I was currently at the department, working on documents and I seen Gavin walk by. "Hey Gavin" I smiled as he looked at me then turned away. "Okay, see you again some time" I said with a happy smile, possibly one of the biggest faked smiles I've ever done. "I don't see why you bother talking to him, he won't be friends with you. He's never friends with anyone" a woman across from me said as she shook her head. "My aim is to be able to make the workplace a comfortable place for all my co-workers. I want each and every individual in this department to feel like I'm someone they could be forward with." I say, the same smile on my face as she turns back to her work. I turn back to my work, frowning at the thought of what I said being so naïve and cringe worthy. I get that I'm trying to stay positive so that no one can see me in distress, but it seems it taking an even harder amount from me.

  Like the harder I try, is the harder I'm going to fail. I sigh as Gavin walks by, knocking my coffee over amd into my lap as I feel the coffee soak my stomach down in caffeine juice. "Apologies, (Name). Most likely will happen again" he says, smiling as he walks away. "That's okay!" I say, my smile filtering as some of the department workers look my direction so I force my smile to be even bigger as I get up to clean off this mess. "Excuse me, Betty do you by any chance have spare clothes I could borrow for today? Mine sort of got coffee spilled on me" I say, still smiling and she turns and slightly frowns. "I'm sorry that happened to you, (Name). Was it Gavin again?" She asked me. "Yeah, but I'll be fine" I smile and she shook her head. "I'm sorry honey, I don't have any spare clothes with me" she said as she turned back to her work, clearly not thinking about me needing help anymore. "Okay then..." I say, sighing as I grab my items and was going to head to my car to drive home and get a spare change until Fowler came out. "(last name), what are you doing?" He yells out, causing people's attention to be on me. "Coffee spill on clothes. I need new ones" I say and he shook his head. "I don't think so. You aren't leaving until your shift is over. Go to the spare clothes room and see if you can find any spares there" he demands. "But sir-" "not another word (last name). I mean it" he said and walked back into the office. "I understand..." I say as people look back to their work.

  I walk past Gavin, him tripping me up and causing me to spill someone else's coffee on me, making them mad. "Watch where you're going!" She yelled, causing me to flinch. I got up, not saying a word as my expression changes to a piased off one. "Hey name, aren't you gonna apologize like usual and smile?" Gavin snickered. "Piss off Gavin..." I mumbled, hearing him walk closer. My fists balled up as I felt it all breaking inside of me. "What did you say? Was that another apology?" He asked.

   "I said fucking piss off Gavin!" I yelled as I turned around and right hooked him in the jaw. He fall back  surprised and in pain at my sudden outburst. Everyone's eyes were on me, even Lieutenant Hank and his Android. "I'm so sick and tired of pretending to be happy and be nice and all you assholes ever do is disrespect and hurt me! You know what!?" I yelled as Fowler came out.

   "(Last name)! This is going on your-!" "Shove that behavior report up your ass Fowler. I don't give a shit anymore. All you assholes are all heartless pieces of shit that I'd wipe from my ass and discard into the toilet. Obviously me being nice isn't working out" I yell back, tears of anger brimming my eyes as everyone looked flabbergasted. Even Fowler didn't expect this reaction out of me. "(Last name)-" "Fowler you always had a reason to pick on me. So guess what? Fuck you. Each and every one of you, go fuck yourselves. You'll be lucky if you even see me again" I say angrily as I grab my stuff and walk out. But not before seeing Betty with a new change of clothes, making me even more mad at how disrespected I've been by them all.

  I get to my car, seeing the Lieutenant's Android standing at the doorway of the department as I speed off. I didn't care how many traffic laws I've broken, and I sure as hell didn't care if I crashed somewhere and died. Who's to miss me anyways? I've been taken as a joke, no matter how many times I thought of shooting myself in the head and how much I cried at night I continued to smile and wear that façade for those people. The ones who didn't even try to be friendly. A play of words and that's it. They all have families and friends and what do I have? Being disowned by my family and no real friends. I'm simply a disease to everyone I've ever came in contact with. I drove home, changing clothes and going back out away from home. I knew that if someone were to- what am I saying? No one's gonna look for me. Why would they? Apparently to everyone around, I'm just a disease that no one wants to come in contact with.

  As I drove, I laughed. I laughed hysterically as I drove, not caring where I went. I just knew I had to go somewhere. Somewhere far away from everything. From my family that hates me, the people who've wronged me, and this place that has drained me. I laughed so hard I cried as I drove. I drove and then saw a bridge. It was a bridge on the back streets of Michigan, a good mile and a half away from Detroit as I got out and seen no cars or anything there. I stopped on the side, getting out and allowing the crisp air to land onto my face. I paid no mind to it, not caring if the fall weather was slightly chilly. I didn't care at all, seeing as I wouldn't need my senses anymore. I went to the car and took off my jacket, not needing that either.

  I wanted the slightly chilling October weather to make me cold. Because that's how everything has been so far. Cold. I sat on the railing, staring at the full moon that was out. I could finally see the moon and stars, now that all the city life wasn't there. I could finally see something besides that for once. I smiled, seeing as the moon was the only beautiful thing I was going to see. Possibly the last thing I was going to see, depending on if I wasn't too chicken like all the other times. I fought myself, wondering if I would actually do it. Knowing that this fall would kill me instantly and that everything would be over for me.

  Cursing myself, I got into my car and slammed my head onto the steering wheel in frustration. Is this really all there is to my life? I didn't see too much more to it.

  But I'm done waiting for a miracle. For some sudden force to save me. It won't happen. Nothing's gonna save me. Nothing never did, and nothing ever will
~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright looks like I'm making a part two because by time this could be over it might be 2000+ words in it and I don't wanna make it that long. So part two, coming soon to Wattpad near you. All that fun stuff but on a real note:

This isn't written to support suicide, or to make you feel like you should do it. No, this is a book for entertainment and like a theatre it is to stimulate the audience's emotions. If you feel suicidal, there is a suicide hotline that you may call.

1-800-273-8255

Or if you don't want to talk to them, author is here. I don't want any readers to feel like this. I know how this can feel but I wanna tell you that it's okay to not be perfect. It's okay that you may feel down but before you consider doing anything to harm or end your life I want you to think. To call this number or to communicate with me.

Don't suffer in silence