Life. Is. Hard.

School. Is. Stressing.

RANT ONE

Okay, so I don't care if you're going into 12th, 8th, 4th, or even 2nd grade, I think that we all can agree that school is hard. 

I mean, really. Who wants to get up at 6:00 A.M. every morning to go to a place where they feel judged and anxious and sad? That's right. No one. 

(Just a quick interruption. Before 4th grade I actually liked school for some odd reason. I live in a pretty small community, so there wern't many rude people. After that year, I started feeling very out of place and not very happy with myself, and school felt like a place where everyone would stare at me and mentally pick out all my flaws.)

Now, when most people look at me, they see a happy girl with lots of friends and good grades. That's not really me. 

I mean, yeah, I'm happy with my social life and I'm not clinically depressed, but I suffer from anxiety periods where I get unhealthily stressed and fidgety. I also have a small bit of social anxiety, but doing theater really helps me open up and be less afraid. 

If you have social anxiety, do some theater! It may seem terrifying at first, but, if you slowly submerge yourself, it should turn out great. (Theater is not for everyone, just putting that out there. Step a little bit out of your comfort zone, but don't take giant steps!)

Anyways, back on track. I always seem to have trouble relaxing. Props to my ukulele teacher, she pointed out that I always keep my strumming hand very tense. I'm always very alert.

I also am just completely horrified by the idea of messing up. I always DREAD turning in projects for school. I play oboe for one of my school's bands, and I sometimes played hookey on the days that I had an oboe lesson because I was so scared that I would be humiliated by the fact that I thought I wasn't good enough.

(Wow! I'm getting really off topic! This chapter is supposed to be about school!)

Anyways, my point is that I'm a pretty anxious person.

(Back to the topic of school!)

When it comes to myself academically, I handle myself pretty well. I get mostly A's and a couple B's here and there, but I don't think anyone understands how hard I work for those. Seriously. There's a guy in my year that's pretty much a math genius, and all of his knowledge comes to him effortlessly! Also, there's a girl in my year that is a very talented artist and very creative.

My academic talent is probably spelling and defining words, as people call me "Dictionary."

That skill came after watching reading so much that my brain hurt. But, defining words is pretty easy.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's hard to fit in and get good grades.

Another topic I wanted to cover was procrastination.

I think we all procrastinate at one time or another in our lives. But for some of us, we do it all the time.

This year we had to turn in three projects each week for English/writing. I had to turn mine in on Mondays, which meant me doing all of my work at 10:00 P.M. on Sunday night. It was really bad. It just seemed so hard for me to do distribute the amount of work I needed to do each day over the span of a week.

I'd just end up giving myself a panic attack.

So here you go kids: DO NOT PROCRASTINATE. IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE. 

I am going to try sososo hard to get out of that habit for next year, but until then, I have to practice being responsible.

RANT OVER.