Keep breathing || BTS

Playing with my mind

Psychology is something fragile from the mind. Fragile as is can be the light that we see; happiness. But the other side of it — and the most dangerous — is very dark. When we talk about psychology, we talk about sanity. And to cross the line, it became easy to do so in this new world. Trauma. Fear. Pain. This world is only about this, plus constantly being on the edge of death. And when you cross the line, you become insane. You see things. Your heart pomps promptly, causing chest pain that you cannot control at your very will. You become nervous of every little things. You become crazy.

This world, full of death in every corners of the map, is slowly taking those who are still fragile up there, one by one. It rarely takes those who have the fate of death, get killed or commit self-homicide quickly. It usually creeps, like a shadow, in one's mind that has faith and that will fight longer. You never think that insanity will hit you specifically, but in a snap of fingers, your whole believing can turn upside down and sink you into hell.

"Taehyung?"

The young man was sitting still on his bed, shoulders down, eyes wide and staring at the nothingness. Only flashbacks were appearing before him. It seemed so real, looping over and over again in front of his eyes. The pain was real. His fingers were trembling. Sweat was dripping. He could feel his heart beat... every single pound in his chest. Not through his ears, that was occupied by the echoing screams of everyone when Jungkook exploded in millions pieces of charcuterie, or when Namjoon's zombie was growling before the gun fired. He couldn't hear the beat. He could feel it. It was hurting. Just like those memories. It was fast. Just like those memories. But it will die. Not like those memories...

"Taehyung?"

Suddenly, his flashbacks swirled and became a blinding white light. Only white, everywhere. And a buzz in his ears remains as his whole body was receiving a powerful electroshock of three seconds.

"Taehyung, do you hear me?" A strange man was sitting before the young adult. He was wearing a plague mask, like everyone in this crazy town, to hide his identity — or to have a spookier appearance. "I am Dr. Wu" he presented himself to V.

Taehyung wasn't responding. He was moving his eyes though. They looked straight into the doctor's ones. Empty.

"I've heard many things about you, son" Dr. Wu started. "Dex, here, told me that you could bring great things to our community. He observed you. He studied you... You can help our people, Taehyung." He smiled. "Hm? What do you say?"

V stayed quiet. The buzz in his ears was still there. He was receiving different intensity of electroshocks for about an hour now.

They had a plan reserved for him.

Without getting an answer from the boy, Dr. Wu used his machine, attached to Taehyung's head, to throw him another session of electroshock. A vein was popping as he was clenching his teeth together so hard, trying to resist to the pain he had to endure.

Dr. Wu apparently wasn't just a doctor that was healing people, he was also psychiatrist. His way to get in Taehyung's mind was by an electroshock therapy that was actually starting to kick in. At first, Taehyung was more aggressive and more talkative. Now, he's calmer and very quiet.

"Will you be one of us, son?" Dr. Wu questioned once again the idol.

V stayed immobile for a moment. It was so strange, even the doctor thought that he messed up.

It was going on and off in his head. Jungkook exploding, Namjoon being shot, the horror that he witnessed, etc. Small parts of everything was added one after another and would drive Taehyung crazy. And the strident buzz was coming between every parts. Every time it would change to another flashback, the sound would become louder and louder, almost destroying the man's eardrums; although it was only in his head.

"Yes" he answered, with still the gaze lost. His right eye twitched. "Yes, I am one of yours."

Dr. Wu smiled, proud of his experience. He was treating Taehyung like a lab rat, but sadly it was looking forward to be effective. V's psychology was severely affected, not just by the shocks, but also by traumatic events that stumbled into his life for the past years. He wasn't insane yet, but he wasn't completely... himself.

There is two sides of the line of sanity. You are or you are not. But there is also that thin line, that when you are stepping on it, your mind can be controlled by anything that would get a grip on this opportunity. And the poor Taehyung is now bound to that line, feeling a non deductible, good or evil, force pulling him towards somewhere around that line. There is not one side that he's more pulled towards than the other since he lost all of his points of reference.

"What are we starting with?"

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What a messy chapter. I am sorry. I tried to be philosophical and shit, but I guess I failed. (I've never been good at philosophy, but I wanted to give it a try..)

Anyway, hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Poor Taetae is not out of the woods yet!

Have a good day/night :)