Lost feelings. {poetry} ✔️

Harsh truth~another not-poem.

I never hated you. Maybe it looked like that, but the truth was hidden so deep in my soul. Every time it tried to climb up my throat I swallowed hard just to make sure it won't escape. I naver hated you, not for a single minute. There wasn't a time I wouldn't look at you love filling my heart, sometimes it was even scary. Scary to love somene like I loved you? Not really. I was scared you would dissapear the second I told you how I truly felt. Sometimes I am overwhelming, I know that. And I didn't want to overwhelm you as much as I didn't want to have my heart broken, shattered on the cold woodfloor next to a broken window. So I never felt you were a person to hate. Never. I felt all of those harsh, boiling true feelings every time I was next to you. And it was that I saw dissapointment so many times in my life, I didn't want to end up like my friends. Crying and sleeping for only three hours a night from so much going on in their heads. From so much pain. So instead, I chose to be cold. I chose to fight before I could fall. I chose to be bitter, sassy and arrogant just to scare you away. It was easier that way because I wouldn't end up being heartbroken. How could you break my heart if I broke it even before you could? Impossible, right? As much impossible as truly hating you.