Amber Rose

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CHAPTER 1

Amber closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn’t believe she was back here. What choice did she have? She hesitated before pressing the bell. After what seemed to be an eternity a middle aged man with a cigarette dangling in his mouth opened the door. He looked at her as if he where scanning her body before speaking, “what brings such a beauty to our ends of London? Are you sure you’re not lost love?” Amber was taken aback some things clearly hadn’t changed. A strange man dressed in a tea stained vest with ripped jeans opening her mother’s door was certainly the kind of scene she had seen many a times before. She cleared her throat and spoke, “I’m here to see my mother Mary-Anne is she around?” The man took a step back clearly surprised before smiling, “well, well, well who knew Mary Anne could produce such a fine looking bird.” He turned back into the house and yelled, “Mary-Anne how come you didn’t tell me you had such a beautiful looking daughter, I may have to swap her for you.” He then turned to Amber and said, “Pardon my manners love, my name is Greg Martins and I’m the man of the house.” He demonstrated his, masculinity by pumping and beating his chest. Amber politely nodded wishing she was miles away, wishing she had never come back. Why did things have to be like this? It had been 5 years since she had stood on these very steps, the place she called home. She knew that made her selfish, but she could not bear the thought of a place that harboured so much pain. Behind those doors were hidden memories. Memories that she did not want to relieve. Yes she had been selfish but she knew there was no other way, she had needed the time to heal or so she thought. She had not completely abandoned her family she had made sure she tried to call her mother once a month. She was always met with resistance but hearing her mother shouting down the phone and ordering Amber not to call again always reassured her. As for her 4 younger siblings, she had been banned from all contact. It had hurt her deeply that day as a young 18 year old when her mother had declared, “You are no longer my daughter Amber, and you are not welcome in your sibling’s lives.” She had packed her things and moved to Manchester to pursue her education. What hurt her most was the lack of access to her siblings. How she loved them so much. There was no other way, she had to go, and they had to stay. She was here hoping that her mother’s anger had subsided. Surely what kind of monster banished her daughter, her own flesh and blood? Mary-Anne appeared and stood by the door looking at the daughter she had disowned 5 years ago. She wanted to close the door on her daughters face and order her out, yet as she beheld the beautiful woman standing on the doorway Mary-Anne could not help but feel motherly pride. Amber was no longer a pale, sad skinny 18 year old, in her place was a beautiful healthy, confident looking woman. She radiated beauty and Mary-Anne felt a knot in her throat. Her dark mane of hair fell in long thick beautiful locks. Her eyes were so big, dark and full of life. Her lustrous lips were painted in a beautiful shade of berry grape. Her skin had a healthy glow. She was not wearing the scrawny jeans she had worn 5 year ago, in their place was a beautiful dark pair of jeans, and coupled with a smart loose fitting blouse and a fitted blazer. She was a sight to behold. She tried to open her mouth to speak yet the only word that came out was, “Amber!” Amber was taken aback by the woman who emerged from the door. Time had not been kind to her. If her mother had looked a mess the last time she saw her, she looked even worse. Amber could not understand and thought it impossible that a woman once as beautiful as her mom could be in such a pitiful state. She looked unkempt and even from a distance her breath had a strong stench of alcohol. Her nails where brown and decorated with dirt. Her teeth which were once white and pearly where now brown and stained after years of smoking. If Amber could have wept right there and then she would have. This was not the sight she expected to see. She thought after all these years her mother would have got her act together, surely for the sake of the other children. Expecting to be turned away Amber was surprised when her mother stepped aside to make way for her. “Amber…come in,” Amber certainly hadn’t been expecting this kind of reaction so she made her way inside before her mother changed her mind. The house seemed smaller than she remembered the dingy smell worse than she expected. The house was dark and there was no escaping the strong smell of smoke. As she entered the living room she noticed not much had changed. She sat on the sofa that used to be her favourite and it crinkled with her weight a sure sign that it had seen it’s better days. Her mother sat on the opposite sofa and Greg stood looking at both the women. “Greg this is my eldest daughter Amber; Amber this is Greg, Matthews’s dad. Matthew is 4 now he was born after you left.” Amber could not hide her shock; she had another brother that put the total number of siblings to 5. She felt her heart literally drop. She had a little brother she did not know, she wondered if he knew her. Greg excused himself after the polite greetings and she was left alone with her mother. “Mum I know that we were not in good books the last time we saw each other but I was hoping that maybe we could move past that.” There was silence in the room before Mary-Anne stood up. “ I need a cup of tea would you like one, do you still take 2 sugars?” Amber nodded still feeling uncomfortable. They drank the tea in silence whilst Amber’s mother smoked. The silence was finally broken by Mary-Anne. “So what do you do now, did you make it as some hot shot banker then? Amber shook her head glad the silence had been broken, “Not really I went a different direction, I’ve just completed my master’s in business consultancy and I’ve been working part time for the last 2 years as a trainee consultant. I’m ready to venture on my own now so I’ll be working as self-employed. In-fact one of the reasons I’m back in London is because I’ve been requested by the first company as a solo consultant. It’s quite exciting because obviously I’m hoping to build up my portfolio and build awareness of my consultancy services”. She realised she was rumbling, as she always did when her career was involved. “Sorry I got a bit carried away,” Amber gave an apologetic smile. “Well it sounded like a whole bunch of Greek to me” ,Marry- Anne interjected. Amber decided to change the course of the conversation, “how are the kids Mum?” Marry Anne eyed her daughter suspiciously as if deciding whether to speak or not. “Jamie is now 18; he’s got a flock of girls following him which he seems to change every day. He’s still in school I guess he followed your footsteps but he’s been hanging around gangs and just last week he got cautioned by the police. Amie is 17 pretty little thing failed Her GCSE’s and now works in a salon”. Amber sighed in horror wishing she could have been there a bit more for her siblings. “Oh no poor Amie always struggled in school, how are the twins?”. “The twins jack and Chantal are still in school; Chantal is a bit of a brainbox she doesn’t go out despite the fact that I always encourage her to go out with her sister, and to have fun and live life.” “Sounds like Chantal hasn’t changed a bit!”. “She reminds me of you, won’t put a foot in the wrong line, it’s all about the books, no boys, no alcohol, just a miss too goodie two shoes just like you.” Mary Anne spoke with a sneer as if her daughter was revolting. “Jack on the other hand has been suspended hundreds of time, a real bully they call him. He gets into trouble at least twice a week. He can’t do anything right, a waste of a boy”. Amber gasped in horror hearing her mother call her brother a waste of space pierced her. She had hoped once she left she would be kinder to the kids. Growing up, Amber had been the one to be called a waste of space, whilst the other kids where treated reasonably. It’s not that the other kids where spoilt rotten of course they all had a bad experience but it was the fact that when her mother had been in a good mood she was a little bit better with the other kids. For Amber however life had been different good or bad mood her mother had hated her with a vengeance. Nothing she ever did was good enough; she was called a waste of space every day. She was ok with that. It’s her brothers and sisters she worried about. She had genuinely thought they were safe from their mother’s wrath. From the descriptions she had given she had clearly once again failed to raise her kids. Amber looked at the time; it was 12.30 she had to leave. In all honesty she couldn’t bear to be around her mother anymore. She really thought she had forgiven her but being around her and hearing about her siblings made her want to explode with anger. She stood up and looked at her mum, “thanks for the tea mum, would it be ok for me to come and see the kids later on?” Her Mum gave a grunt which Amber took to be a yes. She took her cup and her mother’s to the dirty kitchen piling with dishes before leaving the house. Her metallic blue ford focus stood parked in the same spot. She got in and drove off with tears spilling down her tears. She knew it was dangerous to drive in such an emotional state but she couldn’t help it. Before she could see what was happening she heard a honk then a loud deafening screech before her car came to a halt.

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