How to Climb the Chain

| one |

Trapped.

Stuck.

Confined.

That's how I felt. That's how my world felt. Like the people around me were moving on with their lives, leaving me as the only exception.

Dreary streets. Constant noise. I walk forward.

I remained unmoving, even though time continued to go on. But at the center of all of it, never have I felt more...

Inadequate.

Lacking.

Substandard.

I had always strived to do my best. Be the best.

The crowd thickens. People on all sides.

Superb grades, sports scholarships, academic scholarships, accepted into Harvard for Business, etc. Anything a parent could be proud of in a child.

The bump of a shoulder. And another. My bag falls, spilling all the contents.

Fleeting glances.

Unnoticed.

Shunned.

Feet step on my things without care. Even my hands narrowly dodge many of their worn shoes.

But that is the way of this uncaring world. The wheel keeps spinning, disregarding those who struggle.

I stand, my things collected. I move forward, for that is all I can do.

The building looms ahead, sheer in its size. Much like the power of the man that lies within.

I'm freshly twenty and graduated. The ceremony was two days ago, I now had my bachelor's and ended at the top of my class - a year ahead of schedule.

Not that it matters. It never does.

Meaningless.

He didn't even attend either. He was busy. He was with her.

He said the honeymoon would only last a couple days. A couple days turned into a week and then a month. A month that lasted until a day after my graduation. A singular day.

I couldn't blame him. She was very beautiful, untouched by age. A young flower of only twenty-six.

He was forty-seven and without a wife. He deserved happiness after what I did. After who I took from him.

Since my first breath, I have caused him pain. That was what killed her after all.
My mother. His love.

How could I ever make up for the woman I tore apart at birth?

Murderer. 

Guilty.

I walked in and stopped at the reception desk. Immediately, the familiar lady there recognized me. How did I know? Without even speaking, I could see and feel her pity.

"I'm here to see CEO Ranton," I said in a monotone voice, my expression neutral - practiced.

"Certainly. I'll inform him that you are here and unlock the VIP elevator. You may head up," she quickly averted her gaze and began to dial the top floor's contact.

I nodded in thanks and walked to the doors, waiting for them to open. As I waited, I stared at the access pad.

No matter how many times I was forced to visit, he had never once given me a VIP card. Once, I even meekly broached the topic to him, and he briskly shot me down right away. But not before throwing in a couple crushing remarks about what a bane I was to his life.