The day I first believed

My begining

When I was a kid I wasn't really introduced to the idea of God , there was somethings our family talked about how we wanted to go to heaven not hell and sins. My family focused on our relationship with each other more the our relationship with God. Growing up none of my friends went to church or talked about God , I thought from the ages of 4-11 that it would be cool to worship Satan so that's what I did I never talked to him or anything I just told people I worshipped Satan I didn't think anything of it , though I knew there was something missing. I talked to "God" at the time I talked to the guy people referred to as Jesus but I didn't have him in my life at all they were just something I asked for things from I prayed to get my way really , when I wanted something I prayed for it and I got it but at that time I just thought it was luck I didn't think prayer actually worked it was just some stupid thing that someone made up years ago to trick people into believing if they want to go to heaven they will give their life to this unknown being and pray to him for forgiveness and health and when someone got hurt and they prayed to them for healing and they died they got played because God didn't help them and just left them there in the dark. My other thoughts were why would God put people on this earth to just take them out and kill off everyone we love ( this went off topic ). But in my mind God was a joke God was a fictional character made up by some random dude to fool weak people in hopes that they will be saved and live on in heaven or burn in the fiery pits of hell I once had someone tell me that our soul went to heaven and out body went to hell but I never knew what I wanted to believe.