July 3rd, 2012
Once upon a happy life, people actually smiled.
Well guess what, fuckwad. Happy lives don't fucking exist. It's just some made up bull shit to make you feel better about your shitty existence. Yeah, that's right. It's made up.
I bet you think I'm a giant buzz kill, and an asshole for pointing this out to you, huh? Too bad I don't give a shit, huh?
I used to be a very upbeat and happy individual, but then I got slapped in the face with a little thing I like to call reality. I had this guy, Ethan Caulfield come out of no where and hit me in the head with a brick and show me that life ain't all it's cracked up to be.
I remember the conversation like it was yesterday.
"Sabrina, you need to stop being so happy, and so optimistic all the time."
"Why?"
"Because when everything comes crumbling down you turn into an emotional wreck because your expectations were too high. You never took a second to realize that, hey, guess what, things might not actually be perfect happy-go-lucky rainbows everywhere."
"Someone's a Debbie Downer."
"No, someone is a realist."
"You don't seem very realistic to me."
"Well, you're just a delusional idiot who has no grasp of what the real world is like."
"I fully understand what the real world is like, Ethan. You don't seem to understand that you don't have to be negative to be realistic. You just have to understand when something is just so out of reach that it's an unrealistic expectation."
"Everything that you are so positive about is an unrealistic expectation. You hope and pray that Max will pay attention to you when you do nothing to command his attention. You just want him to like you, and love you, and date you, and for everything to be perfect between the two of you, when you don't even talk to him. I'm sorry, but that seems a little unrealistic to me, sweet cheeks."
"I talk to Max!"
"Yeah, you asked to borrow a pencil yesterday. How could I forget? You raved about it for like three hours. And why? Because he smiled at you and handed you his 'favorite pencil'. Can I ask again how you know it's his favorite?"
"It's the one he uses most..."
"Could it not just be that it's the one he happens to find first?"
"He seems to really like the pencil..."
"Look, Sabrina. Take a look around you. In order to get that beautiful flower you like to imagine exists you have to trudge through a whole fuck load of shit. And that shit is also known as reality, sweetie."
Wow, that man is an asshole. But he showed me that everything isn't all fun and games in this world.
After that conversation I came to notice that Sammi is a cutter who only acts happy, Alicia is bulimic, and Max is a total self-centered asshole who needs to get the fuck over himself.
Oh, did I mention that I became really vulgar with my realization of the truth? No? Well, I'm fucking vulgar as shit. So get the fuck over it, or get the fuck out. I'm not here to put up with your bullshit.
Actually, you seriously need to get the fuck out now. This is my god damned internal monologue that I'm writing down right now, you need to cease and desist, because this is not a soliloquy I want shared with the world.
So unless your name is Sabrina Annabella Colacicco the second, then you can piss right the fuck off.
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Okay, well, clearly you aren't going to leave, but so help me god if I find out that you've read this, I'm going to beat the bloody fucking shit out of you. So watch out.
