Handcuffed

Innocent Criminal

"I'm innocent!"

He looked at me disbelievingly and shook his head. He is disappointed in me. What I did hurt him. This isn't what I wanted. But, I still did it. And it is leaving out the fact that I'm... innocent.

"I thought you loved me. Why did you do it?"

"Darrell, it's not my fault. I didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't me!"

He shook his head again.

"Let me expl-"

"No, don't!" he spoke, raising his hand, his head still bowed down. "I don't wanna hear your theories. I believed in you! And you broke that trust. It's no use explaining anything."

I sighed desperately. How can I make him understand?

"Darrell, just this once. Hear me out," I insisted.

"You're a fucking criminal, Catelin!" he yelled, and his tone made me wince. It was cold, and harsh. And then bitter realization hit me. It was gone. All the trust, love, it's all gone. There is nothing left of us. Everything is gone. And one thing replaced them. Hatred! All I see in his eyes are hatred directed towards me.

I looked down. A tiny drop of tear slid down my cheek and landed on my handcuffed hands. My vision became blurry, as more tears formed, making the mettallic rings enclosed around my hands, a blurry glob. He doesn't want to listen. He chooses not to.

"I'm sorry, Darrell," I whispered. "It's not what I wanted. It just kind of happened."

"Kind of?" he shouted. "All the evidence points to you! You are fucking responsible for this Catelin!"

Catelin. He called me Catelin two times. Not Cate. Catelin. He really has given up on me. He hates me. I shifted uncomfortably on our couch. His couch. It's just a matter of a few minutes, before the cops come inside and take me away for good. And he still refuses to listen to what really happened. Well, if this is how he chooses to accept it, then it doesn't matter. All I want, is for him to be happy. And he will be, now that she's gone.

"You killed her," he whispered, both his hands covering his face. His voice cracked. When he looked up, tears streaked down his eyes. "I loved you. Why did you do it? Why did you kill her?"

I felt a knife stab my chest. He said I killed her. It made me cringe, but I held my ground. All I wanted was for him to know the truth. Just him. Nobody else. But, if I break it out now, either he wouldn't believe it, or he'll be heartbroken. And I can't bear that pain. And if he still loves me and trusts me enough, he will risk his entire life trying to save me, endangering his in the process. So, it's better I don't tell him then.

"I'm sorry Darrell," I said. "You have every reason to hate me. I just hope, that you don't hate me too much."

He looked at me disbelievingly.

I looked down, unable to handle that look of his. It breaks my heart knowing that he hates me now.

"Yes, I do," he said. I looked up. "I do hate you."

Another pool of tears built itself up in my eyes. He said those words. But, atleast it's me that he hates. I'm glad he doesn't hate himself.

I shook my head, willing away the tears. I have to be strong.

"It's over. You do realize that, don't you?" he asked, his voice as cold as ice.

My heart ached, but I forced a nod anyway, my eyes tightly squeezed shut.

"She was not even a part of it!"

She was Darrell. She was. You just don't realise it. You don't know what happened, when it happened or who did it. You were out of your senses that day. If only I could have stopped it somehow.

Sometimes its better that the truth stays hidden, Catelin.

Her words echoed in my head. I didn't plan on killing her. I didn't kill her either. But, this time, I'm taking her side. She's right.

"Ms.Catelin Phillips, your time is up. We have to go."

I turned around to face the cop in uniform.

"Are you sure you're okay surrendering yourself in the murder of Julia Phillips?"

Her name sounded bitter. I once adored her name more than mine. She was the chirpy one among us. I just sidestepped in everything and she had to drag me into each thing. I miss her even though she did all those things to me. She was still a precious part of my life.

I looked at Darrell one last time. He refused to look at me. Maybe this is how your boyfriend looses your trust when he comes to know that you killed your own sister. And maybe, he'll be haunted by the fact, that I'll kill him too, if I'm around. I don't blame him though. It's human nature.

"I hope you'll forgive me Darrell," I spoke silently.

I walked out with the cop following me and entered the car parked outside. I hoped Darrell would come outside to see me off, but he didn't. My eyes welled up again. The car slowly started, driving off to the one place I never dreamt of going to.

I looked at my handcuffed hands.

I chose this. I chose to be innocent and I chose to be the criminal.

So is this it? I go away behind bars forever, without the truth coming out? But it's a sacrifice for love. I'm innocent as long as I live. And I saved Darrell. The truth remains sealed with me.

I'm innocent. I really am. And Darrell.... you are the criminal.