Mauthausen (Concentration Camp)

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I stand at the mouth of the long

asphalt road in the middle of the cabins

where the ghosts must still line up

every morning to be counted.

I turn my face to the sting of cold

summer rain and wonder if they

thought about how they might die

during moments like this when

hours passed with soldiers checking

their attendance. The lucky died

in bed—metal so their limbs would

freeze to the frame like a

pink tongue to an ice cube.

The air must have hung heavy with the flavor of

flame-kissed flesh smoking from the

vents of the furnaces.

The white walls of the shower

chambers would have stories to tell were their

mouths not filled to the teeth with

the tepid soup of acid-washed

flesh and bone. We escaped

the discomfort

of the weather and I found

myself tracing my fingers across

the black granite counters of the

memorial room, gathering dust full of

the skin cells of those who’d passed

through the shallow, dark rooms.

The backlit counters glowed with the

remnants of thousands of prisoners’ forgotten

identities, the white names decorating

the room like blood splatters

on drywall. Here,

I remember why sometimes

I question whether God has

His hands in this world at all,

why sometimes I think His hands

must be stained.

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