MCSM: 31-Day Oneshot Challenge

7: The Past

I close my eyes and relax against the tree trunk. It feels so good to be in the forest again, just to feel the warmth of the sun. After being shut inside the Order Hall for so long, I've kinda forgotten how nice this is.

A frown ruins my good mood when I think of Beacontown. I managed to get out today... but how long has it been since the last one? It could be another eternity until I get this break again.

Sighing, I try to shake these thoughts out. I can be worried and stressed and depressed tomorrow, but I need to enjoy this while I have it. But despite my efforts, those heavy thoughts keep weighing down my head.

Maybe I just need to move a bit, I'm generally sitting in one position all day, so perhaps that's just what I need. I stretch out and get up on my feet, walking aimlessly through the woods.

I spot a lake and immediately lick my lips. They are pretty dry, it wouldn't hurt to get a drink. Besides something to think about instead of focusing on this dreadful cloud following me around reminding me of all the work I have to get back to.

The lake is shiny blue and I can even see my reflection. Which is not a good thing. I don't want to be reminded that it's been awhile since I've properly washed my hair. Others say nothing looks wrong, but that's only because it's short and brown. I can still see the dirt build up.

And my eyes. I'm surprised no one has actually said anything about it yet. But they're so... so dull. I used to love looking at my eyes simply because that's all I inherited from my mother. Now it's just depressing though. I wonder if she would be happy if she could see me now?

I don't regret saving the world and so many people, not at all. I loved that. But I did that with my friends, friends I haven't seen in years. And I was so happy when we did that, everything felt so right.

And somehow it's all wrong now.

Somehow, I rarely leave the Order Hall and walk under the glorious sun. Somehow, I let my friends slip away from me. Somehow, I didn't see my happiness slowly fading away. Somehow, I lost control over my own life.

If I don't want to slave away doing paperwork all day long while longingly starring at the forest, then I shouldn't have to. If I just want to snuggle on the couch and read, nothing should be able to stop me.

And yet... every time I try to, something always drags me back. Someone tears up because they think I'm abandoning Beacontown. Or someone else expresses their pure joy that I'm their mayor and I feel so guilty to say I don't want to ruin that.

Couldn't I have what I once did? I used to have friends that would be around so much I knew them better than myself sometimes. I would laugh so hard my stomach would hurt and rivers would flow from my eyes. We would decide what we wanted to do that day and do it without a care for anyone else.

Anger flares through me and I punch the water. Because despite the fact any one of my old friends would welcome me into whatever they're doing, I won't do that. I'll instead drag myself back to Beacontown. Because despite how exhausting and depressing it is, I just couldn't live with myself if I left it behind.

I stand back up, definitely not thirsty anymore. I might as well go back to Beacontown if I can't enjoy the sunshine anymore. I stomp through the woods, imagining all the work that has already built up.

"HEY! I DO NOT!"

I freeze and jump behind a tree, trying to slow my breaths. I need to breathe slowly, get control of myself. I don't think I would forgive myself if I slipped up in front of other people.

"Suuuuure Sebby... just keep thinkin' that."

'Sebby'? I hope that's a nickname name, I'd kinda feel bad if not. I peek through the woods and try to spot these people. If they're heading to Beacontown then I'll have to find some other way to vent. If only they started their journey five minutes later...