Placebo

Home

There are two main definitions of home 1)-"the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household"... And 2)- "an institution for people needing professional care or supervision". The latter has become more apparent in Bailey's later years of childhood...

"Where have you been" exclaimed Judy, Bailey's mum.

Bailey thought to herself where to begin... does she start at the ditching of her friends, the casual grouping or her spontaneous trip to the worst fish and chip shop in Brighton.

"Just a really shit night..." she replies trying to keep her story as vague as possible.

"For one- language! and two care to expand." Judy spits.

Bailey always slashed with her mum, probably because they were too alike, but nevertheless warmed to her dad more. When she was younger if she did something wrong, or accidentally broke something, she'd confide in her dad first hoping he would tell her mum and in turn soften the blow.

"Just, really shi- I mean 'rubbish' night mum" Bailey replies, tears in her eyes, "Mum can I just have a shower I feel dirty and just want to get into new clothes and have a nap, please?"

The next few seconds felt like eternity however to some almighty surprise her mum agreed and said they'd talk later. Bailey trudged up the stairs to the 'hum' of the expensive coffee machine her mum had bought off some prime time telly channel. As she entered the room, warmth encumbers her and without a second thought she falls onto the bed the duvet wrapping her like caterpillar in a cocoon.  Her mind racing about the events of last night from the mysterious silence of Brighton to the vivid characters she met behind a deep fat fryer. Despite the disastrous events of last night, including no recent contact from any of her friends asking if she is okay, she couldn't help but smile at the smell of Gary's deodorant still lingering in her nostrils and the stored images of his jawline kept safe in her long term memory. Despite his dreamlike appearance she couldn't help detest the name Gary... who called there child Gary? And what child called Gary wouldn't desperately try and change it once he turns 18? 

Bailey reached for the remote- a huge challenge for her at the time- and flicked on her TV mounted on the wall. Her father worked as a successful lawyer in and out of Brighton and meant herself and there family as a whole was well off. She began to watch a complete catch-up on Love Island when the advert break popped up and weirdly despite fast forward being an option for the last century it wouldn't work. Bailey kept closing her eyes drifting off into a daze when an advert coordinated by a booming voice grabbed her attention- ' Do you ever wake up and instantly know today is going to be a bad day?' Yes constantly she thought... 'Take part in a new trial to strengthen your mood and diminish feelings of unhappiness' Huh?

'Placebo the easy way to live' echoed throughout her room before Love Island resumed. Now Bailey wasn't a science geek but she was certain that 'Placebo' was a sugar or water based tablet used to find the validity of other drugs in a double blind trial. If she were right, then what a fucking shit name she thought. Anyway despite the name replaying in her head for the next ten minutes or so she soon became consumed in the drama of Love Island and before she knew it she drifted off into a deep deep sleep...

Startled, she woke up to the sunset and raised voices coming from downstairs-

"She's your daughter Judy!" exclaimed Baileys Dad, Graham. Why do parent shave such old sounding names?

"I know that dear! I did give birth to her I'm just saying maybe some time away from Brighton would do her some good?" responded Judy with a hint of sarcasm.

"So that's your cure is it ship her off to a boarding college far away to finish her final term of college? What's the point? She's nearly finished..."

"I know that! I can read a calendar dear... Just there's so many people talking about what happened at college and it's taking it's toll on me..."

"You mean your reputation with the other mum's!" shouted her dad.

"Yes! So what if I do! I still have a life it's not all centered around her and even taking me out of the situation she's unhappy she was out all list night drinking and hooking up with random guys... I could smell the perfume on her".

Lies.

"There must be other ways... there's been people talking at work about this new drug- placebo- it's like a happy pill or something I don't know... but nevertheless maybe it could make her more happy.. alert."

"So now you want our daughter to become a Junkie!?" Judy said with a mixture of outrage and surprise "Jesus Graham!".

"It's not illegal I've seen it advertised on telly Judy... and please don't raise your voice at me, I have had an extremely hard day at work-"

"You've had a hard day! It's always about you you you Graham! I've been dealing with our daughter all day whilst trying to keep up with housework..." 

Lies. Complete and utter lies Bailey thought keeping her cool.

"Bailey is old enough to sort herself out".

True she thought.

" and well... that's your job?"

'Shit Dad you shouldn't have said that' Bailey thought 'you've now put yourself right in the shitter'. 

"You make me sick" Judy spat...

The voices downstairs became muffled for a second whilst Bailey thought to herself 'like fuck is she taking the drug' and how also she was 'hella' hungry and was going to have to brace herself to go downstairs and have food at some point. She began to walk down the stairs bracing herself for the battle ground she was about to walk into.

"Maybe if you weren't so self centered Jud... Hey! Darling I heard you had a rough night?" her dad quickly changed the matter as he saw his daughter stroll into the kitchen/diner. 

"Yeah I did." She replied with little emotion spotting tears in her mum's eyes as she is hunched over the kitchen sink. 'I'm going to have to be the parent again' Bailey thought as despite having continuous arguments with her mother she hated seeing her this way.

"I'm sorry I worried you guys last night... just someone stole my cellphone and wallet at the club..." she said and before her dad could get angry at that fact she continued- "Which don't worry I'll sort out and pay for as I've got myself a little job".

Her mum stood up with disbelief.

"That's wonderful news darling, isn't it Judy?"

"Yes dear... where is it" her mum asked.

"Just a local fish and chip shop" Bailey replied.

"Oh not that upper class but I suppose it's still money" her mum further responded.

Never know pleasing her... Bailey thought.

"Yeah, hopefully just some money to help get me into uni and I feel really happy as well now I feel like I just needed to get it all out of my system last night" Bailey lied.

"That's good dear" her father concluded.

"Yeah... well I just came to get a glass of water and then I'm gonna go get an early night as I start tomorrow"

"Yeah good idea darling".

"Yeah good idea" her mum echoed. Bailey smiled and retreated up the stairs tears in her eyes She remembered the days when they got on so well as a family and alongside her older brother (now at university) they went out on day trips and had movie days and all cute things families should do... Bailey wasn't lying she was gonna get an early night sleep but like the advert said earlier- 'she is certain she is going to wake up tomorrow in a bad mood'.... And on top of that she forgot to get fucking food...

 *Hey currently unedited but I thought I'd publish :)*