Fifty Shades of Cereal

FIRST CHAPTAA

Hehehehehehehe. Ooooooh yes. I know  exactly what to say. I pick up my phone. I open my text messages. I type. I'm like a goddamn machine. I type faster than the amount of time it would take to measure my best friends' IQ. I type: "Hey Mr. Dollamn like I was really, really busy yesterday and I legit could not make it to school AT ALL, but I didn't remember we had a test. Is there anyway I could get a good score? I would do aaaaanything ;) -Kourtnay". 

Yeah lol I'm not Kourtnay btw. I'm Alexis McCoylae. But everyone calls me Scott (my fam hails from Scotland), in primary school I was called Snotty Scotty by a crew of fuck boys who have now ended up doing drugs in some shitty back alley. "Bad boys" don't make it far. But unfortunately girls like Kourtnay thrive. Kourtnay is poison. She gets in people's heads and won't leave until they are shriveled shells of their previous selves. She's shit at school but abso-fucking-lutely great at manipulating people. She probably could get straight A's but she aint got no time for that. Too busy fucking boys.

My besties (know as Tree, Alisha, Skittle, CAitlyn and Maximus Axe-MaxAxe for short) and I decided we needed to teach this gorl a lesson. Hence the text.

A sharp bing echoed and broke my train of thought. I glance at my phone. from the group chat. I open the chat. Its from MaxAxe, a picture of his cat. Yes, yes veeery interesting, I'm sure Max but like, I'm busy rn. Several other bings follow in quick succession. Aaaaah yes, one from Mr FuckMe. "Hello Kourtnay, I have read your message and I am offering my services, to maybe tutor you after school. My place, tomorrow night? -Mr. Dollamn.

HAHAHAAA. Oh I can practically smell the horniness radiating from his text. Did I tell you that we stole Kourtnay's phone? This morning, in fact, while she was passed out in her car on the street after a hard nights partying, Sixteen Candles style. Tree popped in and just nicked it from her pocket. It wouldn't take a girl like Kourtnay long to realise her phone was missing since she lives on social media, like snapchat and instagram. Very popular. Ugh. Anyway, there's another party tonight (Jaquel's B day, Kourtnay's best of best friends) and we are gonna crash this party and leave it in the hands of Jason (I lied before, fuck boys make it VERY far, I was trying to give you some hope) who really, really REEEEALLY wants to get in Kbabe's pants (he affectionately titles her Kbabe, and we all know she loves it) and she teases him and leads him on, ya know, its all fun and games until she decides to let him stick his dick in her. Ughhh.
Anyway, I'll fill you in later about the exhausting rest-of-my-plan after breakfast. Fuuuuuck it's so hard to go downstairs. You wanna know why? My mother. My piece of shit mother. I swear I just want to wrap my hands around her pathetic neck sometimes and just squeeze. But I don't want to end up in prison.