Chapter 3
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Anchors. Believe it or not, it's very hard to find one. Everytime my pulse rises or I begin to feel angry, Scott has to pull me back otherwise I will tear anything and anyone I can get my hands on. On my first full moon, I broke out of my chains and ran to the woods. Scott had to chase me and literally drag me back to his house. I couldn't find a anchor. I tried everything. Scott, Lydia, Malia, my dad. Nothing would work.
Scott, Lydia, Kira, and Malia are all in my house trying to help me control myself. I hope they can help. The last thing I would want is ripping one of their throats out.
"Did they cut open her body?" Malia says out of nowhere.
"What body?" Scott asks lifting up his eyebrow.
"You know, Allison. After she died did they cut open her body?'
"Oh my God! Would you just stop talking! Just shut your mouth! Please." Lydia yells putting her hands over her ears.
"What am I doing?" Malia asks looking over at me.
"How can you act like that?" Lydia asks angirly putting her hands down.
"Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? All I've been wearing is black because of all the get-togethers we've been having. Is that the helpful thing to do?"
"Guys-" Kira breaks in, obviously trying to stop this conversation.
"The way you behave-" Lydia interupts crossing her arms.
"Nobody will tell me-" Malia says in a soft voice.
"It is not okay for you to be asking these things!" Lydia says in a shrill voice.
"But I don't understand, I don't understand how this all happens, how we go through this, I mean I knew her I would see her around Beacon Hills. And now she's...there's just a body, and I don't understand how come she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid! It's mortal and stupid! And Scott is crying and not talking, and I was just having fruit punch and I thought well Allison will never have fruit punch, ever, and she'll never eat cookies, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why."
Malia was crying. Really hard. She completly broke down. Scott, Lydia, and Kira were also crying. I tried to give her hug but she just pushed me away. There was nothing I could do. And it was all my fault they were like this. I did this to them. I did this to myself.
*****
"Stiles you have to think of an anchor!" Scott yelled at me putting his hands on my shoulders.
"I can't!" I growled trying to break free of my chains.
"Yes you can!" Scott said transforming his eyes red.
I couldn't do it. All I could think about was ripping Scott's throat out. All I wanted to do was get my body out of the chains that were holding me back.
"ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS RIPPING YOUR THROAT OUT!" I screamed slamming my body towards Scott.
"Listen to me, Stiles! I know it's hard but just think. This will haunt you if you don't find a solution! Allison was my anchor! Allison is now gone! I know what this feels like!"
"IF ALLISON WAS YOUR ANCHOR HOW ARE YOU STILL IN CONTROL?" I yelled through gritted teeth.
"Because she is still with me! I can feel her! I hear her everywhere I go! I didn't give up! You shouldn't either!
Suddenly it was gone. The urge to make Scott and everyone around me feel pain was gone. I found my anchor. My mom. As soon as Scott said he can still feel Allison with him, I knew.
When I was little, my mom used to tuck me in bed every night. She would always tell me her favorite quote from the novel, The Amber Spyglass. She would say "I love you forever; whatever happens. Until I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms, until I find you again."
I said this verse over and over again in my head until eventually the feeling of wanting to hurt Scott stopped. My mother was my anchor. She will always be my anchor.
"You did it," Scott whispered patting my back.
"Thank goddness if I had to do that any longer I would have lost my mind again."
"Who is your anchor?" he asked unlocking me from my chains.
"Mom."
"Well we better get you home. You deserve rest. We have to go talk to Derek and Peter about the Malia situation. We should do it sometime next week."
***
The Malia situation. That conversation was very interesting. I still don't know how we are going to tell Malia. It will most likely break her heart. And the last thing I want is for Malia to feel sad. She is already broken about killing her sister and mother. I really don't want her world to flip upside down again.
"Why are you two here?' Peter asked opening the door with a smug look on his face.
"You know why we are here, Peter." Scott said flatly walking into Derek's loft.
"So what's the plan?" I asked crossing my arms.
"We need to just tell her. We can't make it a bigger deal then it already is." Derek said leaning against the table.
"Why don't we write a letter," I said uncrossing my arms.
There was a moment of silence before anyone answered. They were all looking at me like I said I had killed their family. It wasn't that bad of an idea.
"Stiles, what you just said...is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul." Derek said flatly.
"Well jeez. A simple no would have been better. It's not even that bad of an idea!" I said turning to Scott.
"No Stiles, that was a pretty stupid idea," Scott said nodding at Derek.
"Would you all just shut up! I just need to tell her. It's not that big of a deal so I don't know why you are making it out to be." Peter intruded.
"Stiles, Scott, I think you need to go. We can talk about this later. Be teenagers. Go to a party. Get drunk. Be normal."
"You are such a sourwolf!" I said while walking out the door with Scott by my side.
****
I woke up in the middle of the night screaming. I had a dream about stabbing Scott in the stomach. I can't live like this. Every time my cell phone rings, I jump. I am paranoid all day every day. I hate this. I can't live with myself knowing I killed Allison. I'm only a teenager. This is too much. This isn't fair. What did I do to deserve this?
No one should live like this.
But I guess if I'm going through hell.
I should just keep going.
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That was Chapter Three! I hope you liked it. Please comment and vote on my story if you enjoyed. It would really inspire me to do more!
**(Credit to the movie Billy Madison for the quote, "...Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it...")
