Second Chance at Love

Chapter Four

CHAPTER FOUR

JOHN'S POV

After John had hung up, he couldn't stop thinking about how he was going to actually see Ella after five years of not seeing her. He was looking forward to seeing her, while at the same time he was unsure of how to feel about it all. Whether he should be furious at her for hiding that she had given birth to their child, or happy that she was finally facing him and being honest. There might also had been a part of him that was looking forward to trying to make things work with her all over again. If this wasn't a sign, John had no clue what was.

John could barely get any sleep because of the thoughts of Ella that were drifting in and out of his head. He had to get through two whole days before he saw her.

When he had finally gotten to sleep, he ended up dreaming of her. It wasn't of some fantasy that had never happened, either. No, it was of the night he had proposed to her. The night she had broken up with him, crushing his spirits in the process.

He had been crushed for months after. Actually, if he was being completely honest with himself, he had been crushed far longer than he would ever let on to anyone else.

John had kept it simple. Just a picnic on the beach at sunset. Cliche, yeah, but Ella loved the beach and he had been thinking more of her when he had planned it all. But it hadn't been perfect at all. Quite the opposite. He still remembered everything she had said. Her reasoning for ending their relationship instead of proceeding forward to the most obvious step for them.

"It's not that I don't love you," Ella had said at the time. "It's just that I'm not ready for such a commitment just yet. I mean, we just finished university, Jack. There's still so much more that I want to see before I settle down."

"We can see it all together," John had argued. "This doesn't have to be an end to us. If anything, it should be a door into something greater. We could travel around together."

"But, Jack," Ella had said, "I need time for myself to discover what else is out there for me."

"So you're actually breaking up with me, is that it?"

"I guess I am."

Yeah, she definitely broke up with John, that much was sure. Left him high and dry on that beach blanket. She had insisted on cutting out early. Had said it would be easier cutting all the ties that had always bound them together. Not necessarily in that wording, but you got the drift. It had actually been worse. Her cutting out early like that. They had met on the beach so they both had their cars. They had both been staying at their parents' places back then when they had finished up college, though he would buy the house he currently lived in within the next few months.

Needless to say, John hadn't gotten much sleep that night. Luckily he hadn't needed to be in his office until ten on Thursday since his first lecture was at eleven. That meant he was able to sleep in a bit longer, so the tossing and turning didn't matter so much with the extra sleep. Sleep being the operative word.

After he had dreamt of the proposal gone wrong, John had reimagined the phone call with Ella. He had started out angry with her when he had first phoned, but that anger had quickly ebbed away when it became evident from Ella's tone that she felt sorry for not telling him like she should have in the first place.

If it weren't for the lectures he had to give to classrooms filled with students, time would have dragged by for John. But lecturing helped time speed up, making the wait somewhat bearable. He was hoping to slowly wedge himself back into Ella's life. Of course he would still be returning to her life since she couldn't very well keep him from his son any longer now that he knew about Christopher, but was also thinking of a bigger picture now. A picture that showed the three of them as one happy family, held together and not separated.

John wasn't about to let this opportunity to woo Ella all over again slip away. He was going to win her heart again. It hadn't been until he had spoken with her that he had found the feelings for her that had been buried deep after she had run off, yet again, five years ago. He had realized he still harbored them. John had been adamant over getting her out of his head once and for all back then, but now. Well now, all John could do was think of her. He couldn't not think of her. She was the mother of his child now, yet he still remembered her as the love of his life. John hoped she would once more be in his life in that way.