Violet Reviews things: Archive

As They Fall

Author: ericaemery

Genre: Fantasy

What I liked about this book:

This was sorta fun to read. It was well outlined and for the most part had a plot that made a lot of sense. Parts of the development were fun, like Marek's transformation from a roving merchant to a high-born from the elven kingdom no one knows about. And I did like the scenery in some places.

What I did NOT like about this book:

The pacing here needs a lot of work, as do nearly all the stylistic elements of this piece. For every beautiful backdrop there are five scenes that have terrible white room syndrome. A lot of the plot, even if it's fun, makes no damn sense. Characters regularly take logical leaps that make no sense to make, yet are correct every time. Charlie is the worst about this particular sin, but the others do it too.

Apart from that I have very little emotional connection to anyone, because the author has the terrible habit of telling the audience an important scene happened instead of taking us through that important scene. Everyone feels flat and lifeless, like I'm watching people interact but not really participating in it. I don't feel as if I know them.

My biggest complaint with this is that Amelia is a mary sue, in all honesty, and although I could forgive if I had any connection to her character, I don't. She's good at everything, everyone instantly loves her, neighboring kingdoms trust what she has to say even when she's a stranger. And since we gloss over any character development she may have had, she comes off as exceedingly boring to read about.

Maren would have been a REALLY FUN CHARACTER had I seen him grow from a wandering vagabond into a decent dude, but I didn't, I just heard about it. And while we're on this subject, gypsy is a racial slur, stop using it...the author's told me this part was written several years ago and she knows this and is changing it so I won't harp on this point too much.

My second biggest complaint is that this affected some big plot events negatively. I didn't care when Elizabeth died because I didn't care about her as a person. Charlie was a stock-obvious love interest because the author decided to beat me over the face with it rather than subtly weaving this into the narrative. Everything was either very obvious or skipped entirely.

I actually hoped that the author was red-herringing for the sake of an entirely different pairing but alas, it was exactly what it looked like instead >:(

Basically stop skipping over important character development, be more subtle about what you're doing, and make me give a shit about your characters, and this would be a half decent book.

Overall:

The author is well aware of the problems this book has, which is always greatly appreciated, and I can't wait to read the rewrite.

Rating:

4/10 because of the structural issues but I did enjoy it more than my typical 4/10. Rewrite please.