One Direction Child Preferences

2: Your Child Says Something Inappropriate

Niall:

Your son Tyler had just turned four. He’s a very loud child and is always asking questions and eating just like his father. He has Niall’s blue eyes and mouth and your nose. Tyler’s favourite place to go is the local park. So you and Niall are walking hand in hand as you follow a happy Tyler around the park. You passed a group of teenage girls who are wearing short shorts and crop tops.

"Sluts" Your eyes widen as you hear Tyler’s high voice chirp as you had gotten past the girls.

"What did you just say young man?!" Niall asked shocked as to how he would know that word.

"Sluts" He repeats again. You bend down to his level.

"Tyler James Horan, I don’t want you to ever say that word again. It’s naughty" You said calmly but sternly.

"Where did you hear that word from?" Niall asked picking Tyler up.

"I heard Uncle Louis say it" He looks down knowing he has done wrong.

"I think daddy will have to have a word with Uncle Louis, now let’s go get ice cream" Niall grinned and you rolled your eyes, following your boys the the ice cream shop.

Zayn:

"Callie can you stop throwing your food everywhere?" You heard Zayn groan to your 18 month old daughter in the kitchen. You smiled as you continue reading your book. Callie Giggled then you heard a clatter of plastic against the floor. You put down your book and made your way to the kitchen to investigate. As you stood in the doorway you saw your husband Zayn bending down to pick up the small bowl and chicken nuggets off the floor.

"Fuck!" Your mouth dropped and Zayn springs back up to look at your baby girl who looked very proud of herself for saying a new word. He turns to look at you with the look of shock on his face.

"Did she just say what I think she said?" He asked and you nod slowly. You immediately began thinking about where she must have heard that word form and what made her say it.

"Callie, you must not say that word ever again sweetheart, it’s a horrible bad word" Zayn explained to her in a patronising way.

"Where did you hear that word from?" You frown as she points at Zayn.

"Dadda" She mumbles, you send a lingering glare in his direction and he knows that later when Callie isn’t around that he is going to be getting an earful from you.

Louis:

Your 15 and 13 year old sons had recently become a handful and can’t seem to control their mouths. You and Louis sat in the kitchen eating breakfast at the table as your oldest son Edward came dragging his feet in and yawning, followed by his younger brother Ryan.

"Eddy you look tired, get much sleep?" Louis asked when he rubbed his eyes and reached for a slice of toast.

"NO! I couldn’t sleep" He seethed.

"Why?"

"Because all I could bloody hear from your room was OH LOUIS FASTER! and OH MY GOD (Y/N) YOU’RE SO TIGHT!" Shouted throwing his arms in the air over exaggerating. You chocked on your tea and saw Louis turn deep red. Ryan stopped eating and burst out laughing which then made Edward join in laughing. Then suddenly Louis popped.

"EDWARD TOMLINSON DO NOT SAY RUDE THINGS LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN! GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!" Louis looked purely angry and Edward didn’t say anything before quickly scuttling off to his room.

You sighed “Louis you didn’t need to shout at him like that” you were still embarrassed in front of Ryan, so kept your attention on your mug of tea.

"We’ll I’m fed up of him saying inappropriate shit like that"

"Go apologise"

"But it-"

"Go!" You interrupted him and he got up and went to Edward’s room. You noticed Ryan still with an amused grin on his face "Stop looking at me like that butt head!" You giggled and threw toast at him.

Liam:

"Daddy" Yours and Liam’s little angel Macey piped up at the dinner table, you knew she was going to asked him a question. Being 5 years old is a time when a child is going to school and learning knew stuff, so is always asking different things.

"Yes Sweetie?" Liam smiled fatherly looking at her with his soft eyes.

"Can I ask you a question?" She glanced around looking at Niall, Harry, Zayn and Louis briefly to see if they were looking.

"Of course you can"

"What’s an orgasm?" Liam nearly chocked on his pasta and you had to turn your head away so Macey couldn’t see you laughing. The boys also were trying their hardest not to laugh, Liam on the other hand looked petrified.

"Yeah Liam what’s an orgasm?" Louis asked whilst grinning. Liam shot him a glare and then turned back to your daughters curious eyes.

"Well…er….a erm….orgasm is a…" He kept stuttering, then gulped before finishing "is a party people have only once in their lives" He said hoping that she would forget it but her eyes lit up.

"A party?!" She gasped "Daddy I want an orgasm" You couldn’t help but laugh at the look on your husbands face. It was priceless to say the lest.

"No you don’t" he shook his head and paid more attention to his fork.

"Yes I do! Please daddy let me have an orgasm" she pleaded loudly and started gaining other people’s attention. The boys were already in stitches laughing.

"No! The next person to say that word doesn’t get dessert" Liam loudly stated. Which made Macey shut up and go back to eating her food, but somehow you knew this wouldn’t be the end of this discussion.

Harry:

"Daddy, daddy look!" Darcy, yours and Harry’s 10 year old daughter shouted excitedly as she pointed at the two zebra’s across the enclosure. Today you had decided that you all needed some family time at the zoo, so this is now were you are, enjoying the hot sunny weather.
Harry turned and looked at the Zebra’s as one seemed to be humping the other.

"Darcy don’t look!" He exclaimed putting his big hands over her big green eyes.

"Why they are only shagging" She pried his hands away and he frowned.

"Oi! Don’t use that type of language missy" his voice boomed as he told her off. You could see she was regretting saying it as Harry hardly ever raises his voice at her. She was looking at her feet and you heard her sniff, the pang of guilt was in your stomach and you pulled her in close to you, hugging her tightly.

"I’m sure it was a mistake and she won’t say it again" you said to Harry pressing a kiss to her soft curls. She looked up and nodded showing she agreed.

"Good" Harry weakly smiled and pulled her out of your arms and into his. "I didn’t mean to be harsh like that baby girl"

"I’m not a baby" she grumbled into his chest.

"You will always be my baby girl" He laced his finger through yours and made you join the hug.