you're hoping you're not hopeless

one

well. this will be short, but it'll explore the year before camila and lauren meet. this won't be fluffy, like the main fic. both lauren and camila will be in bad places.

there's your warning; if you don't like angst back out now.

but even if you don't, read it bc you know they have a happy ending.

-

Fingers running over her palm. Three circles. A comforting, familiar voice.

Everything is blurry to Lauren, and she stays hidden under her blanket, her body extra sensitive. The circles on her palm are starting to hurt, and her head aches, but the thing that hurts the most is her heart. She feels like a part of it has been ripped out, like she's lost half her world.

It's almost true. She's lost the one person she was sure understood her. Her abuela, Angelica, had passed away four days ago, and Lauren hadn't moved from her bed since.

"Lo," the voice says again, and Lauren whimpers, the auditory stimulation too much when she's so hypersensitive. She tears her hand from the person's grip and hides it under her blanket, squeezing her eyes shut and pulling Nala to her chest.

"Your dad said you won't move." Normani says, and Lauren feels a weight next to her on her bed. She tugs on her blanket, making sure she's cocooned up properly, and there's no gaps that anyone can use to touch her. "And judging by how ripe it smells in here, I can tell he's not lying."

Lauren doesn't care about that; the only thing she can focus on is how much she hurts.

"I know it hurts, Lo. I know how close you were to your abuela." Normani says, and at the word abuela, Lauren whimpers, her heart stinging. "But she wouldn't want you to lay in here, getting all smelly. Would she? She'd want you to be outside, living your life. She'd want you to be making art or at least watching The Lion King."

Lauren shuffles at the mention of her favourite movie; she hadn't watched it since her abuela had passed, the longest period of time she's ever gone without watching it. It hurts, because she wishes she could watch it, but her abuela was the last person she watched it with. Lauren doesn't want that to change.

Normani sighs at the lack of response. "Can I at least come under your blanket with you? Don't you want a cuddle?"

Lauren shifts slightly, considering this. She's so hypersensitive that wearing clothes would hurt her, which is why she hasn't worn any for the four days she's been hiding away from everyone. Overstimulation could lead to sensory overload, and Lauren is worried that if Normani talks or touches her in the wrong place, it'll upset her.

But, she loves cuddles with her best friend, so she shuffles again, holding her blanket open, and Normani gets underneath, finally smiling at her. Lauren blinks, her gaze flitting away immediately.

"There's my favourite green eyes." Normani smiles at her, and Lauren squeezes them shut, her breathing heavier. Talking and touching is too much, and she puts her hands up to her ears. Normani seems to understand, and stays quiet, letting Lauren come to her.

After a few minutes of nervous shifting, Lauren shuffles close to her best friend, cringing slightly at the denim of Normani's jeans, but relaxes in her hold once she's settled.

Normani traces soft patterns against Lauren's tummy, and she lets out a small whimper when her friend only makes three circles and stops. Normani laughs, and mumbles something about how she'll keep going, and Lauren sighs, her heart aching when she thinks of her abuela.

She doesn't remember falling asleep, but when she wakes up, Normani is with her, her hands still against Lauren's tummy. She shuffles and whines, wanting the patterns, but Normani doesn't move, so Lauren flips over and sees her best friend, fast asleep. She tilts her head to the side and pushes Normani's shoulder.