SLAY (Troyler fiction)

Reality and Imagination

*Tyler*

I slowly opened my heavy eyelids to realize that I had fallen asleep on my laptop. An open window showed the OTP-song that a certain YouTuber had uploaded a while ago. I hadn't managed to get over this video ever since. Falling asleep listening to it helped me calm down and dive into happier dreams but also led to waking up in the middle of the night,  keyboard of the Macbook imprinted on my face.

Hitting replay once more, I placed the laptop on the floor next to my bed and let the rough but angelic voice sing me into sleep again. "Writing a fanfic in the middle of the night, 'cause - that will bring us closer, right?" This line was amazing and got me thinking again..who else would it be than us two? Had people ever written fanfics about other OTP's than Troyler? I recalled the conversation from months ago when he had just uploaded the video. "Nice song you recorded", I told Troye over a Skype call.

He usually showed me or at least told me about the videos he was going to upload since we were skyping that often, but this time he took me by surprise. Which made me even more curious, of course. "Uhm..thanks man!" he responded awkwardly. Looking away from the screen and down to the floor, I felt the mood swing after having joked around about future collab ideas. "When did you write the Lyrics to this song, if I may ask?" I asked, hoping not to step a boundary. "Well, a few weeks ago when I couldn't sleep - surprise surprise" he stated, "by the way, shouldn't you go to bed at some point?" Great, now he was trying to get away from the conversation. He did make a point though since it was four in the morning here in LA, but seven in the evening in Perth. "Uh, insomnia and well, to be honest I don't see a reason in going to sleep right now.." I kept dropping hints at him but he never seemed to notice. Which was also the reason why I was doubting that the OTP-Song was really about troyler. But dreaming was allowed, right?

These doubts and the uncertainty had also driven me into the arms of a poisonous relationship. Ever since I'd met Fred I'd gotten addicted to the comfort, the ability of running after someone and being needed, even if it was actually more like being used.

We had met at a party and I couldn't resist ever since then, because he had started talking to me, touching me, kissing me and I just didn't have the strength to pull away. I didn't know if I wanted to pull away at all but I knew it didn't feel entirely right. He called me every now and then and we had met several times, all ending in making out or almost undressing but so far I had just enjoyed being wanted and at the same time felt extremely guilty even if I had no idea why.

"So, how's your lovelife?" Troye asked in the middle of my train of thoughts. "Not much ehm going on..just this weird guy that I'm kind of enoying being with" why the fuck was I talking about this now? And why did that just sound like bragging? I was just alone and desperate, that was the actual truth.

"Oh ok, sounds interesting, glad to hear that" Troye murmured but I could see the tension rising between us. "But if he doesn't treat you exactly like you deserve, tell him Troye Sivan wants to have a word..!" I almost burst out with laughter. "Yeah, will do.." Why was he protecting me now all of a sudden? Jeez, I had no idea how to handle this australian boy.