His Guardian Angel

Meet The Savior

AN: There might be a tigger warning here with mentions of self-harm and just general survivors guilt etc. In chapter 4, I'm going to be writing how Bella is dealing with being at the Sanctuary and meeting the Saviors officially.

That Friday – that Friday never came. He keeps thinking about that day, the day the world ended. The day he was supposed to see his girl, tryin' like hell to get to her, call her, something! Eventually he started to give up hope that she'd be alive and well. He was with multiple groups - some for days, some for weeks or maybe months. And then eventually those months turned into a year and within that year Negan created the biggest legacy he could for himself – The Saviors. And he literally wanted to save people, stop people from dyin'. He'd seen too many deaths, and it was never him. Countless people died on his watch or if he was out scavenging like everybody else. Women, children, men. They all were torn apart by teeth or bullets. And Negan, he wasn't having any of that shit.

Fuck no.

He was outside the compound having a smoke, Lucille by his side, the same bat he used to break his tv and stereo equipment and the same bat that got him through everything else. She was there, always. He leaned against the rail looking out at the walkers on chain-link fences wondering if his girl Isabella was out there. So many communities he tore apart and made work for him, and on each trip, he'd hope he'd see her pretty face again. Hear that giggle that did so many things to him. He wanted to hold her and to know that he was the one that took care of her. But in his life? Nothing went his way – not entirely. He could command a thousand people, get them to do his dirty work, fuck all his wives and it still wouldn't be enough. Could never be enough. Only she was and ever would be enough for him.

He inhaled the last of his cigarette with a sigh, running his hands over his face like he usually did when he was thinking.

"Fuck, I miss you, baby." He whispered, thinking that maybe by saying it out loud it would bring her to him. He smirked and laughed at himself. Not fucking likely.

Wasn't long after he thought this that Simon let him know that he was going to do a pick up and a small supply run for medical supplies as they were already stocked up on food and alcohol. He nodded without a word still lost in his thoughts of Isabella and the life he had. He pinched the bridge of his nose with a deep sigh before picking Lucille up and going back to his office, barking orders or intimidating people – that's what he was good at. And to take his mind off the girl he fell so hard for a year ago.

He sarcastically laughed to himself with a shake of his had – obviously, this would happen to him, first Lucille and then her. It was a cruel joke that he could never be happy. His wives were a distraction but he didn't love them. He liked Sherry a lot but it was only because he enjoyed the sex with her and she reminded him of Isabella... slightly. Most nights he was in bed alone or in the shower thinking of Isabella trying to get himself off with the idea of her.

As he got to his office he leaned Lucille down by his desk, her barbed wire freshly cleaned from the previous night. He poured himself a drink before sitting down at his desk going through paperwork and opening his desk drawer to the picture of Bella he kept with him all this time. Her beautiful innocent face smiling up at him. He felt saddened that she never reached her dream of being an actress/model and writer. He knew she had so many aspirations and the stupid world took that away from his girl. But to him? She was always a star in his eyes.

After what felt like forever Simon was back but things seemed off. He radioed telling Negan to come downstairs that they found a girl, she was slightly beat up and bloody. Negan sighed "I'll be there." He turned the radio off and got up "For fucks sake..." He wasn't up for drama. He also hoped this girl wasn't gonna go psycho on his ass, but it would be amusing to him if she did. His heavy footfalls hitting the cement floor as he walked through the compound. He made it to the gate and Fat Joey opened it for him as the trucks headed in. Negan had Lucille on his shoulder as he slowly made his way down the stairs. He saw Dwight, Simon and a few other Saviors get out of the trucks. But no girl to be seen. Negan sauntered over to Simon.