Twice Oneshots

Hurt (Tzuyu)

This is gonna sorta be a mini-series but they are all unrelated. Sorta like what I think are the deeper and sadder thoughts of the members.

Tzuyu always felt a bit strayed from the group. All she could think about was the J-Line. They were foreign like her. But why could the speak Korean so much better? Mina was there for even less time than her. But even Mina was more fluent. Plus J-Line could always talk in Japanese to confide in each other. Meanwhile Tzuyu being the Taiwanese member had no one to confide in. She used to chat with Jackson-sunbaenim, as he spoke mandarin and understood the struggles. But they're both so busy with their schedules and it's almost impossible to know or even predict where Jackson would be next. Tzuyu was always jealous over the fact that the J-Line was able to get so close with the Korean members because of their good Korean speaking skills, while Tzuyu stuttered often and had to think a lot. She couldn't think of witty comebacks and even if she did, she couldn't form it into a korean sentence quick enough, for it to still be funny and relevant to the conversation. She sometimes didn't understand jokes that all the members were laughing at. She especially had a hard time with movies. She sometimes didn't watch movies even when the entirety of her group wanted to have a movie bonding night.

She simply didn't want to burden them with her subtitles. She felt that subtitles would be okay for J-Line as there were more then 1 person. Tzuyu feels like a burden. Even if she stayed and watched, she would zone out a lot. She sometimes couldn't even understand all of the movie's dialogue. She found it so frustrating. How come she couldn't be as good as the others? How come that even though she studied harder and longer, that she wasn't able to fluently speak the language. She hated it. She couldn't blame anybody. It was her own fault for being useless. She should've studied harder, studied more, then maybe she could've gotten closer with her members. But she didn't. She felt like she didn't try hard enough. She's suffering. And to add salt to the injury, Twice debuted in Japan.

She could barely speak fluent Korean, nonetheless another language/ She often suffered sleep issues. Her group members thought she was trying to sleep earlier, but in reality she hid in her room earlier to study. She was embarrassed, she didn't want her members, especially those that shared the room with her, to know. She simply didn't want them to know she suffered. 

"I can power through this myself. This isn't hard, I just need to try harder. I can risk a couple hours of sleep. I can try even harder. If I don't, I'm holding my group down." These were only some of the things she told herself on a daily basis. 

Things only got worse when she realized how close the Korean members were with the Japanese members. They spoke as if they were friends of many years. The japanese members spoke such fluent Korean, that one wouldn't be able to tell that they weren't Korean.

Tzuyu hated herself/ She hated the fact that she was so weak. She despised it. But who is to blame but her?

She was jealous of Kyulkyung, the two girls often spoke after meeting on a reality show. She always felt better after walking with Kyulkyung as she could speak and text in Chinese freely. A language that she is able to fluently speak. But whenever she saw Kyulkyung on TV she got jealous. "We're both chinese and joined around the same time but how come her Korean is so fluent?"

These thoughts also floated around Tzuyu's head a lot.

Her mind was full. She needed a break. But she won't give herself a break. She thinks that all the times she was having 'breaks', the others were learning and studying. So she decided to discipline herself and learn.

She often skipped meals in order to keep things in her head. She would skips practice once a week just to study her Korean.

When she started skipping more meals than usual, that's when her members got worried.