Soundtrack

o2. All I Want • Kodaline •

| o2. All I Want |

Months.

That's how long Parker hasn't gone out at all.

All I want is nothing more

Too many days and nights, he's been cursing the world and the people in it.

Oh, how bitter he was.

To hear you knocking on my door

His parents, his friends. They all tried to persuade him to go out. Heck, even some of his teachers came to visit.

But he only wanted one person to visit him. If it was possible.

'Cause if I could see your face once more

Everyone knew what was the cause of his sudden happiness, a few months ago. That memory seemed to be a lifetime ago.

Oh, how happy he'd been.

I'd die a happy man for sure

But as if life was just giving him a taste, it had all been ripped away.

When you said your last goodbye

Why was life so unfair? What was the purpose of creating the earth? To have people live in it — some of them thinking their purposes were to make other people happy — and when they died, what they do dies too. Forever forgotten.

I died a little bit inside

Opposite to his best friend, Lucas, who believed that death is just Heaven needing an angel, for Parker, death was the unfairness of life targeting people who didn't deserve to die.

For Lucas, Lana might've been an angel, but for Parker, Victoria didn't need to be an angel just yet. She should've been the Queen to his King before she went away.

If she died, he'd no doubt find a way to follow her. If only he didn't promise her he'd live, for the both of them.

I lay in tears in bed all night

Parker wrapped the comforter tightly around his body.

Why is it called comforter if it didn't comfort him?

That's what Parker has been doing for the few months that has passed.

Questioning life, cursing it as well.

Alone without you by my side

Parker hugged the sky-coloured stuffed toy even tighter.

He remembered the day he got it.

He and Victoria were in the carnival. He was struggling with one particular game, but in one try, Victoria got it.

He remembered his cheeks turning red as Victoria kissed him on the cheeks, handing him the prize.

But if you loved me

He sighed, putting his hands behind his back.

Another memory invaded him.

The day when she confessed she liked him.

That was one of the things he liked about her. She didn't make him feel obliged to do something cliché or do something a boy usually does.

Instead, she'd even do them first. Like that time she asked him on a date, when she invaded a family dinner or even when she bought them tickets for prom.

The days she told him she liked him, they were locked in the bathroom. He didn't know that Lucas was in it with her at that time.

He also remembered the day she dropped the bomb on him.

Why'd you leave me?

He released an angry roar.

Life is such a complicated thing, he didn't know which one he hated more. That life was being taken away from her or that life is the reason she was alive.

Take my body. Take my body.

If he could, he would've had absorb her pain.

If he could, he would've had asked God himself for a little more time with her.

If he could, of course.

  All I want is

Was a life with her too much to ask for?

All I need is

He needs her.

To find somebody

He didn't know if anyone can replace her.

I'll find somebody like you.

No, it was impossible.

  Parker rolled out of the comforters, a feeling of coldness that never seemed to leave him became emphasized as he stood up since he was only wearing pants.

He walked to his bathroom, turned on the lights, and started shaving off the stubble that grew over the weeks he was curled up in his bed.

So you brought out the best in me

He remembered the exact moment that took place right there. Him wasted, her sober. She was reprimanding him. She wasn't angry that he got drunk, she was angry because he drove drunk.

That was a moment, even in his hazy mind, he could never forget. He remembered her breaking down, saying that was how her brother had died. Her sobbing, her clinging to him like a sticker.

A part of me I've never seen

He remembered how he awkwardly patted her back. How he comforted her.

He never knew he could do that. Show sympathy and be there for other people other than himself.

But then again, like they say, all good things come to an end.

You took my sould and wiped it clean

On that same night, she'd confessed to him. That she was dying. That she was going to be gone, maybe today or next week, all he'd registered was her leaving. Forever.

Our love was made for movie screens.

He'd seen this scene before, he was sure of it. It was too clichè.

But it was real.

If you loved me

Parker wiped his face dry with a face towel before getting out a clean shirt.

He locked his bedroom door before he went outside the house, hoping that Lucas was home.

He couldn't help but pass the park, the cafe and the little lamp post where it all began.

"Hi, my name is Victoria. What's yours?"

"Ted." he'd jokingly replied.

Her laugh, her voice, it was captivating. If only life wasn't complicated.

Why'd you leave me?

He clenched his fist. On the spur of the moment, he ran the opposite direction of Lucas' house and to the direction of the cemetery.

Take my body. Take my body.

His footsteps slapped the empty pavements. The air passed by him as he ran past it.

All I want is

It was only a matter of time before he saw the dreaded gray place.

All I need is.

"VICTORIA!" his voice traveled through the graves, enveloping all of them but never reaching her.

To find somebody.

"Really? Want to come with me then?"

He rushed to a particular tree.

I'll find somebody like you.

Climbing up the tire swing, he put his head in before he let it go.

Oh.

"Sure."

Finally, he was with her.