He broke free, his will surging with unprecedented power, and the curses and shadows of our realm quivered like lambs to the slaughter. But still past would remain past, clearer than ever, setting guide to the coming future.
Unsettling, such a bright sky, stars shining with a sounding cry, signaling the oh so truth I have denied, the truth of one truly virgin-birthed bastard, the very cross that putrefied and thorn a once-happy family, what's my purpose? What is the purpose of someone that should have never existed, to begin with? Oh who would have known that such a bright night sky could be so painful?
Mom, dad, their smiles dying, raising this painful existence formed by this worlds reality, and oblivious to this sudden change Alexander grew his own smile for one such as me, this lump formed by violent gluttony and forced submission, how did I ever deserve such kindness? Just like an angel loving the sin away. How had I lived this lie so far? I'm no better than those putrid curses myself, no, I have one difference from them, my wish, my painful wanting of their end, how I will undoubtedly cleanse this world trough my own gluttony.
Seasons change in accord to its perpetual cycle until the fourth year of my school role'd by and it unfolds, sharp pain, dark spaces, maddening isolation, pressure so hard that it kills one's breath leaving oneself in a state of intense panic and pain. All this with those eyes of authority glaring from the distant sidelines. Walking home, lone and silent, to that dark room of mine, and yet more hateful glares from those I love so much, why would I? I just do. Don't I hate them? No, I don't hate them, I hate the pain of what they have become. Yet there's still a beam of light, something undeserved but little me kept holding on to, Alexander, it has always been Alexander, hasn't it? Him and me.
The times change as I keep bearing witness to this slideshow of my own accursed life. What is mom doing now? Grabbing my tiny hand? "Come, son, let's go have some fun, I realize that I have not been all there lately, so follow me and let's have some fun, on my way back from work today I saw a place you might like. Come." Her expression seems strained, such a forced smile, mom I am truly sorry, it is all because of me and I will make it right, for you, for Alexander, for them, and all the ones wronged by these curses. "Where is it, mom?" So naive, starved for affection from the world that hadn't been just mine and Alexander's, I look so overjoyed. "Just come, we got to drive for a little while dear, it is a surprise". Sensations rushing back, the smell of the car-seat that odor of leather pressing towards my nostrils for that ride, the silence of the ride, the tension and excitement for what it could be, and what was it? I cannot remember what it was.
We arrive and it is... a quarry? Why?! The swing of that rusted steel-pipe sends younger me to the ground, the impact hard and dizzying, stars swinging, world turning, shock and internal screaming, the panic-inducing impact of the betrayal carried out by the matriarch herself, young me gets picked up by the collar and dragged further into the quarry where several more blows ensued. "You, you are a plague! Plague plague plague, plague! Let it die by the righteous! You should have never existed! You're a fucking tumor you know that?! One I was forced to carry! Huh? You have nothing to say for yourself, well then, why won't you just DIE!" Stop, please just stop, stop hurting me these blows rupturing blood vessels and cracking bones, faint whispers trough the lips of the battered boy. "Why Mom? It hurts, it hurts, help me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, why are you hurting me? Why me, what have I done? Is it because of what I've seen? The emptiness I have felt? My fault, I'm sorry for it all" "SHUT IT PLAGUE, FUCKING TUMOR, DIE!" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am a plague! I'm a tumor! Please stop the pain!" So much blood and I'm a helpless spectator to this violence, someone please stop this, please, no more, mom why? "THE PAIN WILL END WHEN YOU DIE, YOUR DEATH WILL BE A GREAT KINDNESS ON ALL OF US" "Death? No more pain?" "THAT'S RIGHT! ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS JU.........!" "MOM! STOP IT, LEAVE CHRYS ALONE!" Alexander? He's here? Standing on the rough ground shouting towards mom. "HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!" Running down picking up my limp shattered self, truly a guardian angel. "Alex?..." "I'm here you little wicked troublemaker, I'm going to take you home" Memories of warmth, the sensation of his arms, flowing back, chipping away that shade on the walls of my memories. "Home? We're going home?" "LIKE I LET YOU!" "MOM!?" The impact of the hard and wet ground sharpening my fading senses, Alexander being battered, me helpless, shackled by my then broken bones and now the restrains of Deustarmer itself, forced to witness this act of cruelty. Swing after swing yet again, madness must have taken her to far down the fall, that endless rabbit hole.
Fire, a red shade shaping into existence as the sky grows black by tendrils sucking the light away. Alexander... He's not moving, a red puddle forms beneath his limp body, Alexander no it cannot be, Alexander get up, you can do it, Alexander? "NO! I'M NOT FINISHED" "Alex?... Talk to me... No...NO..NOO! Don't leave me here! Alex! Alex... Alex..........Al..ex.................Alex." Whaling whimpers, no, no, no, he's always been by my side. Sounds of neck-breaking, shattered bone fragments seeping into the spinal marrow from the pressure applied, her body hanging mid-air in the middle of this quarry of pain, why them? Mom, Big brother, why did you not just let me die that day? Her eyes rolled in the back of the skull, crying tears of blood as her vessels were rupturing and foam dripped from her mouth frozen in a grimace of raging madness. Her body hitting the ground sounded a hollow and limp thud, just a still body with a slightly twitching head. "Don't worry little one, me, Ruber Hastam will show you the way and the truth" His steps left a slight pit of fire by every step, hunching down by the body of young me, healing me? What? "In time you will remember, the time when you're ready for the truth of this world" There's something in his hand, something he put into my limp hands, a red cloth depicted with a symbol, a mark, a black sun-wheel. Ah, what is this blinding light?
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