the diary of alyx baye.

02 | "days of rain"

I nearly missed a week of posting. My mind has been preoccupied elsewhere lately. I really loathe forcing or rushing my creativity process. I feel when I do things on my time in my own space, the results are more satisfying and I feel better altogether. But I haven't felt like doing anything the past week so, I'm kind of strolling through the park. Searching for a aim of ideas or inspiration to hit.

I cooped myself in the house thinking I was going to be more productive then sitting on social media all day. Plans were set to go downtown to chill and work on some writing @ Barnes & Nobles tomorrow. Maybe even browse through the sale section for a new book to read but unfortunately, it's a no go because something important came up. 

I had the entire day to do what needed to be done so I don't even know why I'm complaining. I pull this shit all the time.

And the weather has been depressing and gloomy for some, with constant thundering and rain showers but for me, it's no bother at all. I live for rainy season. Last night, I can hear how heavy it poured, hitting the roof top of our apartment building down to my window pane. Then, our post light blew out for a few minutes. My entire view went black and all I could see was a soft, dim of light from my cable box filling the abyss space.

It's like sleeping in a bat's cave but you don't feel scared. It was comforting and therapeutic. 

My thoughts were calm and I was easily relaxed. 

That's why rain is beautiful to me. 

It sets the perfect mood to stay in, have a cup of hot tea as your company (I usually play lo-fi chill instrumentals from my phone), light some candles and take in the view and sounds of nature's process.

It reminded me back when my mom was working overnight. My brother and I had the house to our selves and how it's pouring now, happened that exact day. We ran into the rain and we had the greatest time. Twirling with smiles so enormous. Echos of giggles and laughter traveling through the neighborhood. Our PJs drenched and heavy. Our hair curled and patted down. Water splashing they're way into our shoes with each jump and kick we performed. We were the only two visible. And for once, we weren't fighting. It was the best part to end the day.

I hold that moment very close to me.

Because life doesn't have to be so serious all the time.

I'm hoping she'll return some day.