What Are We Called?

Know you (pt. 2)

Chaeyoung's POV

I started to feel uncomfortable when Mina left me here to wait for her.

It was like every move I make, those two eyes were watching me. The lady behind the desk seriously creeps me out. She already had her eyes locked at me since Mina entered the doctor's office. It definitely sent chills running down my spine causing my hairs to stand on its ends.

It stayed that way until the next hour. All that time, I prayed to the heavens that she would stop staring through my body and soul. I've never been this intimidated in my life. Nobody had ever done this to me, not my momzilla or even my ex could, that's why I felt so blessed when Mina came back that I almost hugged her.

"Are you done? Let's get out of here."

"Yeah, but are you okay? You're sweating hard."

"I am not okay."

I grabbed her hand and pushed the glass door open. We hurried out of the building without looking back.

"What happened?"

I stopped and turned to face her.

"Did she scare you? Your hands are reaallyyy cold now."

"W-Well I guess she just did."

I was startled when she suddenly rubbed my hands to warm them. I guess she made my heart skip a beat. She giggled as she did so. Now she's making fun of my childish cowardness.

"That's Seulgi. I know that her appearance is quite frightening, but believe me, she's the total opposite. She's actually nice and kind. Don't be intimidated when she looks at you, that's just her way of observing people. I also got creeped out the same way you did when I first met her but as time passed by, I somehow got to know what kind of person she really is, and we got along"

"I hope we would too," I said as I let out a deep breath.

"Feeling better?" she asked as she let go of my hands.

"Yeah, thanks. But putting that aside, didn't you tell me that you're gonna explain this to me?" I said as I pointed to the clinic.

"Ah, yes."

I could sense that she was being reluctant with her reply. As much as I wanted to know what it's all about, I don't want to force her. I still respect her privacy.

"It's fine if you don't wanna talk about it. I understand."

"No, no. I also think it's already time for you to know."

Mina brought me to a walk down to the small resto at the end of the street. It's almost eight pm, which explains why there's barely three customers. She led me to the table at one corner, separating us from the people, and we sat across each other. A waiter approached us, inquiring for our orders.

"I'll order ramen, what about you? It's on me." Mina asked me.

"I'll just have the same."

"Is that all?" the waiter asked as he noted on his pad.

The two of us nodded in unison.

"Two bowls of ramen, coming up in five minutes," he said before leaving.

"So," I said as I leaned on the table, "I'm ready to listen."

She breathed deeply before speaking.

"Remember when I accidentally called you one night because I had a panic attack?" she started.

"Yeah, of course. What about it?"

"That is just one of the effects of my current condition. I..." she became silent for five seconds.

"I told you that it's fine if you're not ready yet. I'm willing to wait until that time comes."

"I also told you that I'm all ready now," she gulped hard before continuing, "I-I have s-schizophrenia..."

"I know."

"How did you...?"

"I just figured it out on my own. You were acting differently from other people. At first, I thought that that's how what you really are but I sensed something strange. I became suspicious, so I tested if my suspicions are correct. I reckoned I was right when I saw you during your panic attack. I also know that you have been undergoing therapy for a while now."

"Guess I'm not good at pretending."

We both laughed. Not long after, our bowls of steamy ramen arrived.

"Now that we're at it," Mina said as she changed into a serious mood, "What about you? Got anything to tell me?"

"Like what?" I asked as I quickly slurped the noodle that soon burned my tongue.

That was a stupid question. I already knew what she was talking about yet I pretended not to comprehend.

"Do I have to mention?" she said it bluntly.

I hesitated. It's not that I wanna keep this to myself forever. It's just difficult to say. I looked back at her and saw her staring at me, her pair of curious dark brown eyes seeking for answers in mine. I guess I was stunned for quite a while, because the only thing I could remember was Mina calling my name.

"Hey Chaeng," she said as she held my cheek, "If you don't wanna talk about her, it's fine. I won't insist."

"She was a mistake," I started slowly then paused. Mina withdrew her hand and shifted her weight, ready to listen.

"She was the only one I had genuine feelings for. I was down and had no one to rely on when she came into my life and completed me. She was my everything. She changed me. She changed my whole perspective if the world. She brought hope to my hopeless soul. She was being so nice and caring to me that I became so blinded. I didn't realize that all those times she made me feel loved, she was just playing with my heart. I fell into the trap. I fell for it. I fell for her. I fell in love with someone who was getting back at me for 'victimizing' her friends. She clearly won."

Man, I really suck at storytelling.

I expected tears to run down my cheeks, but there was none. Everytime I remember her and the memories we had, I never failed to weep because the fact that I loved her just hurt.

That's strange.

"Nope, she didn't."

I immediately looked up when I heard her say those words.

"Did you listen to your self while telling me the story? Because to me, you don't sound broken at all. Look at you now. Look at how you've been doing since you moved here. Are you feeling miserable?"

Hearing her talk that way mesmerized me. She really enlightens me a lot, everyday.

"There!" she exclaimed, "That smile tells everything!"

Right at that moment, she made me realize the answer as to why I am perfectly fine now, to why I can smile as brightly as the sun even though I found myself in my own trap.

"You just helped me find out why I'm not miserable now," I said while looking down at the table.

"Really? What is it?" she asked, her eyes glowing in excitement.

I lifted my face and gazed into those dark brown orbs.