Life full of lies

03.NEW START

I woke up in the middnight
I look at my wrist it show 2 am.I took my phone and my earbud
I play my music.
hey dad look at me think back and talk to me,did I grow up according to plans?do you think I'm wasting my time do the things I wanna do but it hurts when you disapprove all long....
I sing along in low voice and tears drops on my lap.I put my hands over my mouth to stop my sobb.I think about how fucked my life.how unwanted I am.did God actualy cares for me?all negative tought sink in.
I take my journal and start putting my sorrow into word
I was happy,my life was whole and my home was warm.But like all suny days,it comes to an end.The rains falls and bring along with a feeling of remorse,sadness and grief.The cloud that has always been hanging over my life become dark initially bursting and out of it came an unaimaginable downpour that caused so much pain.
and I draw a rose at the bottom.yeah I love rose and I didn't really good at drawing,I could do it if I have an object.I close my journal and open my phone and start reading wattpad.what can I say I love reading and absolutely in love with wattpad
I keep on reading along with music on my ears.I didn't even realize that it's already at 5 am.I got up and went downstairs.I start cleaning my house,wash dishes,do the dirty laundry and iron.I look at my wrist and it's already at 7 am.they probably awaked by now.I go to the kitchen and found my mother cooking breakfast.
"morning mom"
but only silence I got.I felt pang on my chest but I brush it off.I take a cup of water and drink it off.I'm really tired.I never been do this stuff all alone.when I'm done,I walk back to my room and waking up brother
"aiden..wake up buddy.you need to go yo school" he groans
"ugh five minutes more V"he said and change his side.
"nope.now get up and go shower buddy"I said and made him in sit position.he rubbed his eyes.
"I'm up,I'up"he said and walk to the bathroom and I wait for him.what I'm gonna do now?

I had to find a job for sure.but where?how?uggh this is so frustrating.
"V"my sharp brother voice interupt my tought.
"V,are you okay?I've been calling you sixth time!"his voice and his face show full of concern.I smiled and patt his head
"I'm fine buddy.get dressed and go downstairs"I said and get to the bathdroom and clean my self.when I finished I put on my black skinny ripped jeans and white shirt.I brush my hair and put some make up.I need to find a job.yes it is for now.I take my bag and come downstairs and look at that none's in the dining room except my brother Aiden.again I felt pained on my heart but I still manage a smile for my brother sake.
"hey buddy.where's the other?"
"Left."he said shortly with a sad face.I walk towards him and patted his head.
"What is with that sad face A"?
"I told 'em to wait for you and Noah but they said they couldn't be late.what an excuse!!" He said.
"Okay there big man.that's allright.they probably running out of time.now eat your breakfast.where's noah anyway" I ask while put some food on his plate and mine.
"Morning"
We look up and meet our blue eyes brother
"Morning" we greet exicitedly
He comes towards us and kiss my forehead so did aiden.I put the food on his plate.he pray for our food and we dig in.whe we were done,I take their plates and put it on the sink and washed it.Noah help me.
"V where are you going"?
"Find a job Noah"
"Okay.I'll drive you"
"No!go with aiden and don't forget your helmet.safety is priority"I said in joking tone.he laugh and patted my head.
"no biggie.good luck with you.don't push yourself too hard.and becareful"
"Ay ay sir"
"Okay we'll get going.let's go A..."
"Okay"aiden yell and come towards me and hugging my leg.I bend down to his level and he wrasp his hands on my neck and kiss my cheek.
"God bless you V.we love you"
"I love you too buddy,more than you could ever imagine.good luck with your school.you'll be the best of anyone"and I kiss his forehead and I wacth 'em untill their shadow disappeared.I took my bag and look our door and wait on the buss stop.I walking on my path.and looking for a job.I look at a coffee shop and I get in and saw the crowded. I walk towards the bartender.
"What can I do for you?"he said
"Ehm do this cafe need a employe?"
"Right.we do.just go to that door and you'll met my mom and she'll interview you"
"Thankyou"
And I follow his directions and knock on the door
"Come in"
I open the door and look at a women.she's pretty.maybe 5,9 ft and she might late 40'es.
"Good morning mam"
"Good morning"her voice so soft.
"Take a sit dear"she said and I sat on the chair right infront her desk.
"What is your name dear?"
"Vinata avery curry mam"
"How old are you dear?"
"20 years old mom"
"Who told you that we need an employe dear?"
"I just came in and ask the bartender mam.and he told me"
"So did you really need this job full time or part time dear?"
"I will able full time mam"
"All right dear.you got this job."
And she told me the detail.about my sallary.the payment and I have to come at 7 am and  my shift will be over at 10 pm.I thank her and walk out.I look at my wrist it shows at 1 pm.damn I need to pick up my brothers
I come to his school and then I look at him and in the blink of eye he run towards me and make me stumble for a little.
"Slow down big boy"I said and bend on my knees.he smile and kiss my cheek
"Love you V.let's gets home.I'm starving"he whined and rubbed his tummy
"How's your day big boy? "
He grins and said
"It was so cool v, the teacher gave us the lessons and I'm the only one who can answer v. Me" I laugh as I heard him talking about his day. I'm glad that he such a sweet boy. I'll never made him become a bad boy. God please help me with that. When we arrived at home he open the door and jumping around.
"Honey, change your shirt and eat your lunch honey. "
"OKAY V. "
if you think I know how to cook and you're absolutely wrong. I don't know how to cook. I just want to serve my baby brother the food that my mom was cook.
I just know how to make omelette, sandwich.I hear my brother foot steps and he appeare and hug my waist. Yeah he is pretty tall.
"Go sit honey. I'll bring your food right away" He obey me and sat down.
I put his food in front of him. He pray and dig in. I sat across him and drink up my coffee. When he finished he take the dish and put it on the sink and when he wants to clean it. I stand up
"Honey let me do that" As I walk he shake his head
"No V, let me do this.I am a big boy, remember? " I smile and kiss his forehead. He finished and I took his hand and walk toward the couch. I turn the TV on.and soon we watch toy story movie.