3 | Contention ♛Bucky Barnes

Chapter one

Bucky's eyes were shut as the sun was rising, the light flooding through the window in our new apartment, the tenth apartment in two years since we had to move around a lot to stay under the radar.

The place had no heating and the wall colors had started to fall off, this place only had one mattress as well, but it was smaller than the last.

We had another cinderblock bookshelf since it worked the last time and it was filled with old books that Bucky would read to remember.

His eyes were twitching under his lids and i gently placed my hand on his cheek, trying to look inside his dream, even though i had not been able to do so since i found him.

He was in some sort of a cooler before they started dragging him somewhere, towards a machine, that's when i realized it was the electricity torture device and panicked, trying to get out of the vision.

His screams echoed through the large room and i felt tears shining in my eyes.

I cry out when i get out of the vision, sweet dripping from my face as i snap my gaze to Bucky and start to shake him, not wanting him to go through it again even if it meant he remembered more.

His eyes shot open and he gasped, his eyes wide as he struggled to breathe.

"It's was just an old memory, you're fine, you're fine." He started to calm down and put his head back on the pillow, his breathing ragged and deep like he had just run a marathon.

His arms enclosed around me and i flinched at his cold metal arm against my hot skin but still allowed him to pull me down on his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat slightly slowing down.

"I told you not to use your magic." He sounded angry but relieved i woke him up and i sighed, closing my eyes. "Don't boss me around." He scoffed under me.

"You boss me around all of the time, and i'm serious, last time you got really hurt." I decided o drop the subject, not wanting to talk about it anymore since i have barely used any powers since i fought Bucky, i use it sometimes, only for smaller things like if i'm bored and want to play with something in the air, but Bucky is still against it.

One thing that had been stuck on my mind ever since we left for Bucharest was the fact that Bucky almost instantly remembered me that day in the carrier, but he still has trouble remembering other things, Steve was not one of those, he was talked about a lot between us, what he was like today, what he was like before.

But my theory about the remembering thing was since i had gotten his memories back before, it would be easier to get them back if he was ever wiped again, it was not about his feelings for me, because then he would have remembered Steve just as easily as me, maybe even faster.

"I have a question." I whispered after his heart rate was back to normal.

"Anything." His right hand was in my hair, a strand between his fingers as he continued to play with it.

"Why didn't you kill me, before? I know it's been awhile but i just can't peace it together, you didn't know me, but you still just made sure i was down." I widened my eyes and slightly sat up, my hands still on his chest. "And that wasn't the first time, the same thing happened when you first got wiped after you knew me, you refused to kill me." He sighed, but not from annoyance, he was thinking, trying to remember what i was talking about.

"I remember that, the first time." He quickly removed me from him and stood up, leaving me with a frown as he started going through his stuff, looking for something. "I remember now, i have kept this for so long." He walked back to me, something small in his hand as he sat down beside me on the bed, opening his metal hand to reveal a bullet.

Something clicked inside and my jaw dropped, memories of the bullet being gone from my heart when i woke up from being dead.

"You took the bullet out." I straightened, carefully grabbing it in my hands, shock still going through me. "Why?"

"There was something in my mind telling me i had to, same when i had the gun pointed at you, i just couldn't, and every other time we fought."

"How have we not talked about this before?"

He started shaking his head, a slight twitch in his lip. "I guess i forgot." My mouth dropped open and i started sarcastically laughing.

"Oh haha, that's a funny joke." He took back the bullet and went to place it in with the rest of his stuff but stopped and looked at it for awhile, something flashing over his eyes like a memory, i did my best to stand up as quick as i could but got stuck in the sheet and just flew up on my feet instead, walking up to him and waiting for the vision to be over.

"What was it this time?" I asked once he was looking at me, but he didn't look pleased like he used to when he remembered, he looked guilty and filled with regret.

"Nothing, i just..." He put the bullet down mid sentence, taking a deep breath. "More killings." He finally said and my heart sank, Bucky remembering more people he killed and assassinated was tearing him apart, the kind heart he had was taking so many punches and i could not do anything about it, just let him remember and process it in his own time.

"Do you know who it was?" I put my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating in it's normal pace.

"Yeah... Damn it." He squeezed his eyes closed and i could see he was fighting to not judge himself, trying to think that it wasn't like he could choose.

"Howard Stark." My eyes widened but i said nothing, waiting for him to continue speaking, he grabbed my hand on his chest up to his face, his eyes still shut. "And his wife." I let out a shaky breath but stepped towards him, wanting nothing more than to be in his arms, but he stepped back, finally opening his eyes, and they were filled with sadness.

"No, i know you always say i didn't have a choice but this one is to much, i did that, i killed them, and i knew who they were." i started getting angry, but not at Bucky, at the ones who did this to him. "We have talked about this, you didn't kill anyone, Hydra did." I slightly raised my voice, trying to get him to understand but also careful to not make it sound like i was mad at him.

I knew he could take care of himself, he was even stronger than me so he never needed me if he got into a fight, not that it had happened since we came here, but i couldn't help but protect him, i needed to, if i didn't i don't believe i would be able to survive, he was my rock, the one holding me down on the ground and the one making me happy, and i also knew he never thought of me as overprotective or annoying, he told me himself, he was glad he had someone who cared so much for him as i did.

"I know, i'm sorry." He shook his head and i walked into a hug, feeling his arms enclose me as i buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"Never apologize to me, you never have to." I felt his chest expand as he took another deep breath and rested his chin on my head.

"We have to leave soon, we have lived in this place longer than the rest." He broke the silence after awhile and i looked up at him. "We go in three days." He furrowed his eyebrows at me and gave me a questioning look, waiting for me to explain myself.

"The market starts tonight downtown, i don't want to go but it means there will be some nice food on the street just outside, we can buy some stuff for the road, maybe some fruit? You know plums are great for the memory." I started rambling making him slightly smile.

"Fine, three days." He agreed and kissed my left hand, stroking the ring on my engagement finger.