About Me (Please Don't Read Its Embarrassing)

BLACK

Hello. My name is Zach. How are you? Good I'm glad to hear that.

Oh yeah, I'm doing great, thanks for asking. I'll see you again sometime.

Scripted bullshit.

Walk away, stare at the clouds. Each one is different and once they're gone, they're gone forever. Isn't it odd? To be able to notice that, to understand it. 

Now look around. Do you see all of the people? They're everywhere. Each one different, but the same. What's it called? Meaningless strife?

Thoughtful bullshit.

And now he sits, thinking and thinking. Trying to find meaning, not just in his life, but in everyone's life. This and that. These and those. What an idiot. Can't he just live and stop wondering and worrying? Seems the answer is no. I knew that, of course I did.

He fakes a smile. Not to hide his true feelings, but because it is expected among other people. Especially with strangers. He learns the world as if reading a text book. Idiot! There is nothing to learn. Relax and enjoy yourself for what you are.

If he were an animal. He would be a turtle. Here is why. 

He is slow. Slow to act, slow to think, slow to move, slow to work, slow to speak, he's just slow. Not only this, but turtles retreat to their shells whenever they are afraid or in danger. I find this to be a perfect analogy. It makes me giddy. Whenever he has to face his fears, which is quite often, he hides himself. Only speaking the nessacary words to escape the situation. Sometimes he just wobbles away, without looking back. He is so silly sometimes. Once he is safely alone again he constantly replays the event in his head over and over again, trying to see what he did wrong. Listen up Idiot! This is what you did wrong.

You thought. You think to much. Honestly, it really is that simple. Oh, but I know that you will continue to analyze every situation until your brain literally explodes. I hope you enjoy yourself. Idiot!

Oh... uh... yeah I know. Sorry.

Okay.

Unscripted bullshit.

Way to go! I nailed it! I'm such a liar. I did everything wrong this time. And here I thought I was growing and getting better. Nope! I'm still doing it wrong. Dammit! Why can't I figure this shit out! Its so frustrating. 

Anyways, what was I thinking before? Damn, I forgot. 

Thoughtless bullshit.

And it goes on.

He has grown. He's learned a lot. He's just going about it the wrong way. I feel for him. I wish there was something I could do, but this is all I can do.

All he wants is to be loved by someone. He wants someone to care for him and accept him for who he is. So he doesn't have to stress over it anymore. He wants to have a normal life, even though he knows that there is no such thing as normal. Have you heard the saying, "What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly"? He has.

He contradicts himself. "I like to be alone, but I hate being lonely." Just one of his many sayings. It saddens me. Seeing him suffer. He is his greatest enemy and I am his only friend.

THE END