Long distant love

A single flashback of the one I once used to love

Silence, I hear rain dripping down from outside, soft nature noises which always manage to calm me down. My lips slowly move yet, the unsettling silence.

Silence, I hear rain dripping down from outside, soft nature noises which always manage to calm me down. My lips slowly move yet, the unsettling silence.

I was sitting in a big open room, light escaping through the window as the rain started to continue. My long locks of white hair were dropped on the floor, still tired I stood up, I dusted off my blouse as I looked around. The room had a dark oak flooring and a modern settling around. The TV screen was still on playing some relaxing lofi music, pens and pencils lay around as well goes for clothing, bags of chips and some devices. I stared at my phone seeing that a new message had appeared. Wind blew through my hair as the rain started to pour inside of the room, I slowly closed the window ignoring the storm outside. While reading some of the messages which have appeared during the time I passed out I walked towards the kitchen opening the fridge, nothing my interest. I decided to make some cappuccino as my phone started to buzz. I looked at it as I decided to ignore the call, after all it was hard keeping up with all the assignments all at once. Having an office job in the middle of Tokyo is quite harsh, besides that I don't keep up with this job. I have enough money to live from yet boredom and being workaholic started to become a problem, despite all the

money I already make with my hobbies which I do besides working; a full-time illustrator for animations and game design. Despite there was a huge gap between the fact that I was still poor, living in an apartment. Until I started to get noticed, started my own company. And becoming the boss, despite I've been home for days now. The company doesn't seem to be bothered, the company I created is called 'Shea'; It's an online chatting site for the category teens to talk around, you can live-stream, take pictures and talk to each other.It also has a huge community full of all different kinds of people. It's one of the most frequently used social media these days. Being the owner and well, user as well it was specifically made for my boyfriend, he and I used the application I made to talk. It was like the world was ours.

'Until he said he was done, left me to die. I somehow wanted to show I was better. The weakness I had I turned into something stronger. Something that he couldn't have stopped'

I did it because of the hate I felt burning inside of me, despite he left me behind for someone who was way out of my league. I wanted to proof to him that I was way better than her but in the end the selfish ways and the fact that I started to only work towards one goal messed me up. I looked outside, as I held the warm cappuccino which just happened to finish; personally I used to be a way different person back then but still.

'All the days we had together just disappeared like they were meaningless to him'

Despite the fact that the one I once loved so much found some rip off replacement for me I allowed the darkest thoughts to get inside my mind. I sighed, already by the thought of it I realized how much he made me change. How I made him destroy my entire life at first before rising like this. They were the darkest times of my life, and somehow the voices of my insecurities are slowly creeping back. To haunt me and make me unable to move on like this. I closed my eyes and let the thoughts go for a second as I sat down opening my Cintiq and starting to draw and work on the newest projects I'm working on. Despite I'm admired for the fact that I'm always working towards new goals and new achievements which are supposing to be unreachable; I'm also admired by many for my game designs, storytelling and illustrations. Living such a life might seem harsh and almost impossible for some but still I continue. Perhaps you reading this makes you say

'She's living such a perfect life!'' , but isn't that what we all say towards the others? Just realizing how terrible our own are and noticing how flawless others are because that's what our minds are telling us. Sometimes it's also just for the best to notice that the life you're living is good enough as well that such a ''flawless and perfect life'' might be terrible inside as well. And that they have the same pains as you do, how even if we're starting to give up because we don't have the time to wait for the positive things to start.... There will always be something better, just wait. Even if it may take ''infinite'' it will be worth the happiness at last.