CHAPTER TWO

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I awoke the next morning with my head throbbing. What I'd intended to be a brief rest ended up being a fitful night of sleep plagued by twisted memories and nightmares. Visions of moments Enzo and I had together, but they were all... wrong.

We had taken a trip to Paris before he died. At the top of the Eiffel Tower, he'd wrapped his arms around me and promised to never let me go. In the dream, rather than whispering his sweet oath, his words were a broken hearted plea. Why did you let me go? No matter how much I cried out my assurances that I hadn't and never would, the wounded look of betrayal wouldn't leave his eyes.

The moment of his death played on repeat, but instead of Stefan being the one to rip Enzo's heart from his chest, it was me. Over and over again, I watched in horror as I killed the love of my life, not even sparing a glance as his lifeless body desiccated and slumped to the ground, and I just walked away as though nothing more earth-shattering than swatting a mosquito had taken place.

When each of these broken memories would play out, I woke with tears streaming down my face. I had no idea why my mind was playing with me, but I was exhausted and over it. When I wasn't at the mercy of my subconscious, I knew the truth. I hadn't let go. Couldn't let go. No. I'd held on so tight when I lost him that I created a whole other world, a new Otherside linked to only me and just for him. When I finally die, I'll see him again, and then we would have the rest of eternity together. I had made peace with the fact that as time passed, missing him would become easier, but I wasn't there yet. I could manage to go weeks without crying, but he never left my thoughts for more than a minute or two.

Nope. No one could accuse me of having let him go too soon. I still hadn't and I don't know if I ever could.

I wiped the remaining tears streaking down my cheeks and took a deep breath. I glanced at the window. The sun was beginning to peek through the cracks between the curtains. A new day had dawned and it was time to drag my tired ass out of bed. I'd made a promise to Enzo that I would live my life and that's what I was going to do.

I heaved myself off the bed and made my way out to the kitchen where I had left my suitcase. I wheeled it back to the bedroom and with all the strength I could muster, swung it up onto the high bed. After checking the weather on my phone, I chose an outfit and headed for the bathroom, the promise of a hot shower adding a little spring to my step.

Almost an hour later, I stepped out of the bathroom dressed and feeling like a new woman. I made myself a pot of coffee, and while it was brewing, I did my hair and makeup. Finally ready to face the world, I scoured the cupboards and found a travel mug. Cass was nice enough to include cream and sugar in the essentials she'd mentioned, so once I'd fixed my coffee just the way I like it, I grabbed the keys and my phone, tossed both in my purse, and headed for the door.

I had no set itinerary and no one waiting for me to be anywhere specific. All I knew was there needed to be food in my adventures as my growling stomach was reminding me that the last thing I had eaten was a soft pretzel the day before at the airport. With breakfast on my mind, I tried to shake off the weariness left over from the previous night as I stepped out the front door into the New Orleans' morning sunshine.

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