The Boy in the Tunnel

Fall 1997, Chapter 6: Alex

The end of "Dollhouse Blues" was triumphant, as it always was, as it was the day it had appeared to Alex fully formed: a cathedral of loud. Alex and Xander were locked in, mind-melded. What they made together was majestic and terrifying, awesome in the original sense of the word. Alex was awed by his own creation, afraid of what would happen if it ever slipped its bounds. We are become rock, the destroyer of worlds.

But even this mighty hymn, this edifice, this colossus, paled in comparison to the scream that issued from the girl in the doorway. Alex and Xander both turned their heads toward the sound, perfectly in sync, like the opening of automatic doors. God, they could be so beautiful sometimes.

--Dude. You hear that? We should get her in the studio, do some backup vocals.

--Dude I think I know her.

--Oh shit that's Audrey's friend. What's her name, Jenny? Joey?

--Joanie I think.

Screaming in a crowded room was just about the worst thing a person could do, in terms of keeping things from absolutely breaking the fuck down – because things were now absolutely breaking the fuck down. Audrey freaked out, dropped her bass with a KLONG and jumped off the stage, right into a crowd that, Alex noted, was a little bigger than he expected. Pretty frickin' sweet, all things considered.

Alex and Xander stopped playing. The feedback looped between them and around them, binding them together.

--You're thinking of the Force, dude.

--Yeah but what if feedback was like our version of the Force, dude? It's all just energy, right?

--Also dude the Force penetrates you. Are you saying you just got penetrated?

Patrick kept drumming, oblivious. The crowd didn't know what the fuck was happening. They thought this was part of the show, maybe. Fucking freshmen, don't know the difference between what's real and what's a show.

--Though, dude, what if this was part of the show?

--I like where your head's at, dude, but now is probably not the time to discuss it? Let's talk about it next rehearsal.

Joanie was still screaming in the doorway, and you'd have to be a pretty fucking dense freshman by now not to dig that something was not right here. Clark, the door guy, he was trying to calm Joanie down, but he didn't really have a plan and you could tell he wasn't too comfortable just grabbing up on her, plus Joanie was like eight feet tall and strong as shit (she was on the basketball or volleyball team or something, Alex remembered), so she kept screaming while Clark just kind of waved his arms.

Audrey was trying to force her way through the crowd, a bunch of drunk children whose fight-or-flight instincts were short-circuiting. Some of them were starting to scream now, figuring that was the thing to do. Tiny little Audrey was getting swallowed up the crowd. Things were getting, like, Lord of the Flies, real quick. Patrick's fucking drumming wasn't helping.

Alex took off his guitar and handed it to Xander. He jerked his head at Patrick. "Could you make him fucking stop?" Alex jumped down off the stage and elbowed through the crowd to Audrey. He found her and put his arm around her shoulder. "Dude, you okay?" Audrey nodded. This felt good, in a way. Natural.

With one arm around Audrey, Alex stiff-armed his way to the doors. Behind him Patrick was going insane, just full-on tribal. A real fucking shame they had to stop playing, because this would have sounded totally sweet with him and Xander shredding on top of it. Then you get Joanie wailing in the background like "Gimme Shelter" or something – that would be totally fucking sweet. That's that, like, apocalyptic wasteland sound he was telling Xander about – just the other day, he was telling Xander. First you build the cathedral, then you burn it down.