poetry for Lonely Soul

Unspoken Whispers

i watch the sky poured its tears to the ground in a never ending torrents.

maybe the heavens felt sad for a moment there.

maybe one of the gods is hurt and his tears are drowning us mortals

the skies is gloomy and dark.

i have the need to go out and savour those painful cold torrents against my skin.

i love to walk under the rain.

i love the sound of the rain as it patter on the umbrella.

the sound is just relaxing and the cold just numbs my heart.

September,

one of the darkest months.

it was cold just like i want to.

i stroll under the blanket of the night.

i love the peace both the night and rain brings with each walks i take.

i have walk miles on those trance state

memories are a blur.

i can't even remember where my feet has taken me

I just let my emotions take control of my body

i still remember my thoughts at those moments of numbness

i remember all those painful thoughts that just won't go away

there are times that i just found myself standing in front of the ocean

i cry my hearts out of the pain i carry like scars

i would scream at Poseidon because i am angry as i stare at the sea reflect my roaring emotions.

there are times that i ask, why me?

it plays like a broken record

repeating in an infinity of unspoken anger.

there are times like now that those memories just flash like a photographs

maybe it's the rain

maybe it's the gloomy clouds hover above me

or the fear that is about to break through from my composure.

sometimes i wish that i don't have those memories because it's painful and it's scary and lonely.

i am scared as i know people are slipping off my fingers

and i always end up losing with every battle.

i am scared of losing you

any of you.

i wish it will rain again so maybe it can calm my raging emotions boiling to the surface

maybe it will give me peace

or maybe the chilling cold will numb the pain again.

i hope that it will rain again so i can feel the soft patter on my skin.

I hope it will rain again so i can forget the pain

======================

this is not meant to be published it is meant for one person and that one person alone... but i have no clue if indeed this is nothing more than a Unspoken Whisper that remains silent. i do wish for you to read this. i wish that i could somehow make your pain lessen. i know that only words i can only hope to reach you. yes i am well aware that this will be forever be the Unspoken Whisper but i do hope you can hear it.  

you said you love to hear those stories and i love to tell them. i do hope that i could tell them like bedtime stories. i do hope that i could tell it to you before you close your eyes, before those nightmares falls. i do wish i was there standing close during your lonely and scary night. i do wish i can hold your hands now. 

love 

mommy Lu