Fuck E. Cheese's: Chuck E Boi x PewDiePie

Chapter One | Here Comes Dat Boi Chuck

Chuck E Cheese's POV:
     "Yes Pewds, whip out that MASSIVE Schlong and enter my anal cavity with the strength capable of lifting Atlantis back to the surface."
                      *Record scratch*
Yup that's me, you're probably wondering how I got into this situation, well it all starts with normal story things like a setting and a plot I guess? Allow me to explain...
          It started off like any other ordinary day at my job—this crappy fast food business I've worked in for way longer than anyone should ever put up with. Honestly thirteen straight years of screaming, bratty children is enough to damage anybody's sanity. I've had my fair share of kicked shins and blown out eardrums. I swear it seemed like the kids only got worse with time. Being forced to keep a smile whilst being abused by countless kids everyday really takes a toll on a fella.
          Really the only saving grace from those days was Jasper T. (Tennessee) Jowls. The closest thing I'd call to a best friend, with his deep southern accent he'd never fail to crack a joke. I mean they'd always suck but the kids always laughed so I guess that counted for something. Despite the fact that he was an animatronic, he would always listen to me when I needed to vent. Yea his responses were limited to things like "do you wanna hear a song?" and "sounds like someone needs some pizza", but that's not what's important right now. Point is I had A LOT to rant about. Buckle up fella cause this is gonna take a while.
So you ever hear of this bucko named Shane Dawson? Well this cat molesting motherducker tried to soil the glorious name that is Chuck E. Cheese. Reusing pizza my tuchus, but the public didn't want to listen to facts. They chose to believe in conspiracy and the eviction notice was in my face within days. They even accused me of having rats in the kitchen. How dare they accuse me of such vile things! I AM A MOUSE!! I was appalled to hear about my establishment's allegations and the fact that so many quickly turned on what used to be such a beloved restaurant chain. In the matter of weeks all we built so hard for crumbled under the weight of baseless indictments.
    I was jobless, on the verge of bankruptcy, and my wife divorced me. She took almost everything from me and there weren't many options left for me. I was practically living on the streets. LIKE A DAMN RAT! No one would hire me because of that dirty no-good Shane Dawson. He took everything from me, even my sweet little Brenda.I normally don't h-word anyone but lemme tell you, if I ever see him on the streets, well you know what happens when you corner a rat right? ...Uh I mean mouse, when you corner a mouse. Regardless it won't be pretty sight.
     But anyways, enough about my petty quarrel towards that guy. I don't ever want to carry around all those negative emotions so I make sure to forgive and forget, y'know. It's bad for your skin if you do that. Even if he screwed me over pretty badly I've got other opportunities to look forward to. This place called "Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria" has offered to hire me and even give me a place to live. Guess it's true that good things happen to those who wait. Sweet deal if you ask me. By the ratings alone this place has a dandy reputation. Kids just love it there! It's a perfect fit for me considering my call in life is to make kids happy. I just hope my new coworkers can accept me for who I truly is. I mean who I truly am. Excuse my illiteracy.
It's my first day on the job. First day working as an official member of the Fazbear family. Even took the liberty of crossing out Chuck E. from my name tag and writing Michael over top of it. Fresh start and all. I figured they wouldn't want to be associated with the Chuck E. name. I won't let them down, I'll make all of the happy kids- I mean kids happy .I took a deep breath and approached the door but it swung open before I could even reach for it.
    "Oh thank god you're here, we've a lot to go over Chuck"-
    "Michael," I correct, pointing to my name tag.
    "Who? Unimportant right now Chuck, you needa get in costume."
    "Costume??"
    "Yes costume, now hurry up. We open in about fifteen minutes."
     He grabbed my arm and forced me through the doors. He led me to the locker room— to Locker 23. "This is gonna be your locker while you're here, you can keep whatever you like in it as long as it'll fit. Your costume must go back in here before you get ready to sleep. The combination is 39-52-48. I gotta go now, good luck!"
    I input the combination and can't believe my eyes. It's the Chuck E. Cheese suit, I thought they wouldn't have wanted to associate with that legacy. I thought I'd finally been able to move on from my past as that mouse. But here I am about to take upon the responsibility once more. Donning the suit again meant taking on a brand new life here at Freddy Fazbear's. And I'm fully prepared to not fluff up this time around. The day proceeded how it normally would back at Chuck E.'s and was almost PTSD inducing, but I fought through and managed to keep my bearings until closing. I return to Locker 23 and attempt to take my suit off. After about a minute or two I realized the zipper wouldn't budge and it was stuck.    
"Aw fiddlesticks," I remark aloud. Anyone else would start to panic in this situation, but this is only the umteenth time this has happened to me so I'll just sleep in the suit again. No big deal.The entire pizzeria became silent, nothing moved and everything appeared lifeless. Suddenly the door was thrown open and a tallish, average-bodied man burst through. Nothing about him screamed unique, he seemed just as plain as the pizza served at this pizzeria. He seemed to be in a hurry, rushing into his office. I noticed something drop from his uniform and as I went to pick it up I noticed it read 'Mike Schmidt'. I assumed that was his name, how coincidental, I guess everyone is named Mike Around here. Well my courteous behind wanted to return it to him. So I made my way over to his office and knocked on the door a good couple times.
     "Hey, uh I think you dropped something," I called out to him. There was a moment of silence before hearing the panicked screams from inside the office. In the most friendly voice I could muster up I said, "No need to fear me, I'm just one of the employees here. The name was originally Chuck E. but I go by Mike now. Not because I stole- I mean found your name tag.  Just want to return it to you Mr. Schmidt." Although I didn't quite understand his overreactions, I tried my best to calm him down. I heard a chuckle from the other side of the thick metal door and suddenly it opened. Cue another scream, and cue a petrified expression to go along with it. His face was one of terror and bafflement; it was as if he had seen a ghost.
     After about another minute of screaming he finally stopped, probably to catch some air. "Mike, Mike baby, listen to me Mike. Can I call you Mike? You dropped your name tag," I said again, offering him the piece of plastic held in my furry, clunky hand. An awkward moment of silence passed and then he was back to screaming. Only this time he reacted by slamming the door back in my face.
     "Mike baby, I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world but you don't have to hurt my feelings you know? I just want to return your name tag that's all. I'll hand it over, and we'll move on with our lives. If you don't want it though, I mean there can only be one true Mike, and I hate to break it to you, but it's not looking like it's you."
     "Stay away from me you monster!" My man Mike finally found his voice I suppose.
     "Ouch, that's pretty painful to hear. You aren't a looker either, you know. That's really rude to say to someone. Hasn't anybody ever taught you any manners Mike?" I retorted back.
     "Stay away! I'll call security!"
     "But you are security, aren't you? That's what it says on your badge. Do you always treat your dates this way, Mike? You don't got a girlfriend do you? I sure hope not, this is no way to treat a lady. Not that I am a lady, just saying. First impressions are really important you know?"
     "What the hell are you saying?!"
     "Mike baby, do you believe in love at first sight? Because I've been staring at your I.D. picture and I have to confess something. You're the man of my dreams. Mike baby, you love me don't you? I-I know we just met but I really think you're the one for me. My soulmate, what would you think about a wedding on the beach? Or if sand isn't your thing, how about marrying at the space station? All we'll need is a small loan of a million dollars."
     "WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN GOING ON?!?!?"
     "Mike don't act like you didn't notice the spark when we locked eyes. Listen Mike baby, we should just cut to the chase, I love you, you're gonna love me, let's just get outta this place and have a night of debauchery. That will probably last the rest of your life."
      As quick as a flash the door opens with a loud creak. Mike's beautifully chiseled face meets mine and I can feel my heart pound against my hefty costume. "Mike," His name all too smoothly leaves the tip of my tongue.
     "A night of debauchery did you say?" He cocks a splendid eyebrow.
     My tongue darts from my mouth to my lower lip, my teeth raking alongside the bottom. "Of course. Complete with wrestling of the adult kind and the like."
      Mike's eyes light up and he leans in a bit.
     "You like the sound of that, don'tcha Mike baby?" I hit my man Mike with a seductive smile and hit a twirl.
     "Saturday works for me if that's cool with you my main man Mike."
     "Call me Mikey," The absolute beefcake of a man says in a newfound confident tone.
     "Ooh," I let out a flattering gasp. "I'm liking this side of you Mikey."
     "Don't you worry, there's plenty-"
     Just then a giant figure drops from the ceiling body slamming down onto the love of my lives with a loud thud. It's pretty dark so I can't tell who exactly it is and then a pool of what I can only assume is some sort of liquid, with the viscosity of glue fell onto the two bodies unfortunate enough to be under it. "Aw fuckle my McBuckle and call me a Saucy Sally™, I can't fucking believe this shit. I was only hiding up in the rafters...listening in on your conversation and only listening. Honest, that was all I was doing. Just listening. Nothin' else. I uhh love drama, not like it was hot or anything. Nope. Not hot at all."
      "Erm... uhhhh... okay???" I muttered. "Awwwww dingleberries on rye toast with a side of jam, I completely forgot about my main ma- my boi Mike." I lament.
      "Oh the guy... well I'm not gonna lie to you, he is probably dead, and by probably I mean like definitely. He is definitely dead. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Yeah...sorry about that. But not really though, I didn't know him at all. I'm sure he was a swell guy, but I kinda don't care. Like at all."
     "Oh Mike baby!" I cry out, unable to cope with the sudden loss. I-I feel my consciousness slipping. My poor Mikey, how could the grip of death reach him so soon? It's too early, but alas there is nothing I can do for him. The grim unfortunate life I live must go o-"
                               (Fainting noises)