We packed up our things and made our way to my car, Rave took the keys from my hands as we got near and I gave him a grateful smile as I got in the passenger seat. Before we left, he sent Ever a text explaining to her that we would pick her up a little later than planned and I sent a text to my uncle, telling him why I was leaving early today.
As we drove across town towards the cemetery, I looked out the window and towards the sky. As if it had picked up on the mood, the bright blue had faded to grey and there were looming clouds. "It's going to rain." I mumble.
Rave's eyes flick up towards the sky briefly before he looks back to the road. "We're almost there, it'll be fine."
We drive for a few more minutes and then he pulls the car through the iron gates and I direct him to the plot where my dad's grave is. I've only been there once, the day of the funeral, but the directions are forever burned into my mind.
When the spot is within site, I can't tear my eyes away from it. The large tombstone draws my attention like a magnet. Even from where we're parked, I can read the words that are forever etched into the granite: Jonathan Hatton 1975 - 2016 Loving Son, Brother, Husband, and Father.
I couldn't make my legs move, I couldn't get out of the car, I just sat there staring at this expensive, decorated rock that now represents my dad. He was so much more than this - so much more than a phrase engraved forever on a tombstone, so much more than a loving son, brother, husband, and father.
He was a teacher that taught with so much passion, his students came to the funeral and cried. He was an active member in the community, always taking roles in events and fundraisers. He was a role model, the life of the party - even at the age of forty one. My friends were all jealous of what a cool dad I had, other parents loved him, and he loved everyone he met. He had so much life inside of him, and he couldn't contain it, he was always happy and positive - he would hate what my mom and I have become.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Rave asks, quietly, but still causing me to jump at the sound of his voice breaking the silence that had settled around us.
Part of me wants to say yes, because I don't know if I can make it the short distance from the car to the grave without someone pushing me along. Another part of me knows that I need to do this alone though, it's been too long and I need to face this alone. The latter is the part that wins. I turn to Rave and give him a weak smile, "No, I need to do this alone."
He nods his head and gives my hand a quick supportive squeeze before I open the door and force my feet to move me towards the spot where my dad is laid to rest. Before I know it, I'm standing directly in front of the tombstone, reading the words over and over again as I try to figure out what it is I'm supposed to do now that I'm actually here.
The last time I was here I could see a hole dug in the ground, right beneath where my feet are at this moment. Grass has long grown over the dirt that fills in that hole, and I try not to think of the fact that my dad's body is six feet below my feet right now. I'm not sure if the temperature dropped due to the impending storm, or if I'm getting chills from being here.
I wrap my arms around myself and don't try to stop the tears from rolling down my face. I notice that there are dead flowers on the ground and a silver chain with a handful of guitar picks attached to it resting on the base of the headstone.
The flowers couldn't be more than a week or two old, and their white daisy's, which is what my dad always bought my mom. I guess she does visit sometimes, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she didn't. I reach down and pick up the cluster of picks.
"Dad, I can't believe you're making me sit in the backseat so that the guitar can sit upfront." I cross my arms in mock anger as he looks back at me in the rear view mirror.
"Sorry, Ky. You know this thing is my baby." He takes one hand off the wheel and pats the guitar case sitting in the seat beside him, strapped in like it's an actual person.
"I actually am your baby though." I point out, to which he only shrugs before turning on to the highway.
My dad has just finished teaching his last lecture of the day, which is why he had his prized guitar with him - he had brought it in for his lesson at the University. After picking me up from Whitley's house, we were on our way to pick up some carry out at my mom's favorite restaurant downtown and then surprising her on her lunch break at the hospital.
"Have you called in the food?" I ask, pulling up the restaurants website on my phone because I know the answer he's about to give me.
"No, would you mind to-"
"Already on it." I dial the phone number on the top of the website and order our usual, thanking the woman when she gives me the estimated wait time, and then relaying the information to my dad.
He turns up the radio when one of our favorite Pink Floyd songs begins to play. We sing the lyrics together as I dance in the back, causing my dad's laughter to mix with mine and fill the car.
I didn't see it coming and neither did he. We went around the bend and before he could swerve out of the way, we crashed into another car that was driving on the wrong side of the road. The impact sent our car through the guardrail and down the steep overhang, hitting trees and the hard ground as we flipped multiple times.
The last thing I ever heard from my dad was him screaming my name.
For the second time today I am engulfed by Rave as his arms wrap tightly around me, holding me together so that the pieces of my heart don't fall shattered to the ground. I hadn't even heard him get out of the car, but as sobs rack my entire body, I'm eerily calmed by his presence and touch - just as I was the night I fell asleep in his arms after my panic attack.
Rain starts to fall as I cling to Rave, but we don't move. I can hear him mumbling words of comfort in my ear, but I can' t make them out. I can't hear anything over the rain that is now pouring and the sound of thunder in the distance.
Within minutes we're soaked, I step out of his embrace, and look up at him. His hair flat and sticking to his face, I can only imagine how I look, make up is probably running down my face from both crying and the rain. Through the rain falling heavily down on us, I can see Rave staring at me intently, as if he's worried about me but also something else - an emotion I can't make out.
We need to get back to the car and out of the rain, but neither of us move and Rave is still looking at me with that unreadable expression. I open my mouth to tell him we should head back, but he opens his at the same time and the words die on my tongue as I see his lips moving. Thunder roared over his words and I don't hear him. I can barely see him even though he's standing right in front of me, the rain is so heavy now and the sun is gone, completely covered by the clouds.
"What?" I shout loud enough for him to hear me, just as there is another crack of thunder.
He takes a step closer and I can see him more clearly now, his green eyes serious and piercing as he stares into mine. "I said, I LOVE YOU." He shouts, his eyes never leaving mine although he seems less confident now - like he's not sure how I will react, like he's nervous. He was nervous when he asked me to be his girlfriend too, and it was such a silly thing to be nervous about, because how could I not have said yes to that?
Doesn't he know that all I've ever wanted for the past year is to be his and for him to be mine. Does he not know that he sets my whole world on fire?
I've never admitted it to myself because up until this past week, it's all felt like a dream, something that could never truly be mine. I can't deny it though, I love him. How could I not? After everything, it's never been a question of if I love him, it's been will I allow myself to love him. Will I look past my fears and insecurities, will I ignore the nagging voices in the back of my head? Will I believe that I'm enough for him?
"Ky? Say something." He doesn't say the words loud enough to be heard over the storm, but I can read his lips.
I take a step closer and make sure that he's looking me in the eye before I raise my voice just as thunder rolls, closer and louder now. "I LOVE YOU TOO."
YOU ARE READING
Stay With Me ✔
Teen Fiction"You would think that with a name like Rave, he would be intense and moody, like your classic bad boy. With the amount of cigarettes he smokes in a day, you would imagine that his car smells like stale smoke and nicotine. By the amount of rumors tha...
