In Sickness, Health, and Full moons

Chapter Fourteen [Azrael]

As soon as Tanner left, Azrael just flopped over in bed, letting the little bit of giddiness in her chest ward off the pain for as long as she could. It was stupid, getting so flustered and warm and fuzzy over a hug and a kiss on the cheek, especially considering she'd been married to Tanner for four years, but that didn't stop the feelings.

How she'd ever thought she could leave him, she had no idea. It was fear, all fear that blocked out how much she loved him, how good he was to her. He messed up, they both did. Under normal circumstances, that kind of violence really shouldn't be tolerated but for the love of god they'd both lied about their fundamental make up as people for eight years, that much lying is bound to boil over at some point. It had, that was behind them now. She loved him, he loved her, and nothing like this would ever happen again.

Now it was just a matter of forgiveness. She really wanted to forgive him, but that little bit of trepidation hanging heavy in her chest refused to be ignored. They'd take it slow, that's all. Redefine some boundaries. They'd never go "back to normal" because their normal had been a lie. They'd find a new normal, however long that took.

A new normal. What would that look like? Raising one hand in front of her face, Azrael tried to summon a little light into it. She barely managed a tiny flash before dizziness ran her over like a truck. Alright, no more magic today. If she was unconscious, she couldn't eat her mac and cheese.

She needed to practice. Neglecting her magic in favor of supporting her human lie for eight years was downright stupid and just because those years had been wonderful and peaceful didn't mean fate was done dragging her through the dirt. Will Tanner be okay with my magic? Considering he didn't even want to know her age, the whole angel thing had to have freaked him out even a little and she wasn't about to make that worse.

But what if he is okay with it? Azrael had never once tried to imagine how angelic magic would work in a domestic setting. What could she do to practice? Destroying things had always been her specialty, for once she was grateful because she felt no need to practice that, but otherwise?

Azrael smiled to herself at the ridiculousness of it. She could bring down the power bill by acting as a walking lamp. Or in winter, she could be a living space heater. If Tanner would let her, she'd like to heal whatever injuries he had. Not just because she hated to see him hurt, but because she healed much faster than a human--not human. Same rules applied, though, angel healing beats mortal. Maybe she could help with his stress, too. Healing didn't just mean physical. Maybe after a few too many hours at his desk, she could pull him away for even just five minutes to hold him and use her light to soothe him. I'd love that, if he'd let me.

Azrael's fantasies about the future held her together for a little while, but unfortunately the warm and fuzzies couldn't last her forever and her reality pressed in on her, mostly in the form of constant, only somewhat bearable pain. Not just from her injuries, her whole body ached fiercely, burned out by her magic. Yes, Tanner had told her to stay in bed, but downtown was far and she needed a distraction. Without the crushing fear of her dangerous husband and crumbling marriage, Azrael was bored. Bored and feeling kinda gross considering she'd spent the last two days in bed.

Slowly, she unwrapped herself from all her blankets and slid off the bed onto her unsteady feet. At most twenty feet, you can do this. With an embarrassing amount of difficulty, Azrael made her way across to the bathroom, placed a towel on the edge of the tub, then sat down on it. Realistically, she needed a proper shower, but she doubted she could stay upright for that long without help. While their relationship was slowly repairing itself, she and Tanner weren't quite there yet. Or at least she wasn't.