Every Waking Moment

5

We thought the hardest part of our romance was through, but the difficulties were just beginning. When the air started to crisp again, ghosts of my past heard I was happy with you. They found me and whispered things into your ears, things I had done, parts of me I wasn't proud of.

    They started fights between us, fights of yelling and crying. Ones I wasn't sure if we would make it out of but we proved too strong for them. We pushed through the whispers, through the rumors, and even through the difficult truths. You believed in me and God knows I believed in you, in us.

...

    Blackmail, threats, and indiscretions are what broke us apart. We had lasted for so long but it seemed as if our electricity was only a small static spark, if that, now. The cold of the winter seemed to shut you off from me. We didn't have our car rides where we would blast music and sing at the top of our lungs. We didn't lay in bed together to stay warm. There were no showers where we would giggle between kisses. It was just occasional reluctant texts. I felt empty. My fire was still within me but its companion was no longer within you.

    There were times where I was sure you didn't love me anymore, and then my suspicions were confirmed by one of your friends who told me that you didn't want to hurt me, that we were only still together because my health had started to deteriorate. I was devastated and with that I stamped out the fire. All that was left within me was smoke that was building. So I let it out, but instead of words, from within me came a scalding fit of rage. I burned you with my words. I didn't care what I did anymore. I became a reckless forest fire, one intent on burning you down.

    From then on, things were different. We weren't an "us" anymore, it was just you... and I. seperate beings separated by something of the past. Our history didn't matter to us anymore. We didn't speak for weeks.