Amnesia | c.h au

7.

"What do you miss about her?" Luke asked. They had been talking about Hayley for almost two hours now, and Calum was feeling remarkably better. He had even forgotten about the fact that she had a new boyfriend now. Well, almost forgotten.
"Everything. Like the way her nails were always chipped no matter how many times she painted them, or how sometimes when she laughed her whole body would shake, or how she always, always laughed so hard whenever she was laying on her back, or how she'd cry over sad movies and always cuddle into me, or how she'd beg me to sing her to sleep, or they way she told me she loved me even when we were fighting. I just, I miss having her around all the time. I never thought waking up to someone could be so important, but now that I don't have that anymore, it's all I want. I just wish she was still mine and that I could still spoil her and make her feel as happy as she always made me"
Calum hadn't realised what he had until it had left him. She was like a hot shower on a cold day, making his whole body fill up with warmth, leaving him feeling all happy inside. But then one day the water ran cold and it left Calum with his teeth chattering and his heart broken. Today was the first time he felt even the tiniest bit of that warmth returning.
"I- Come out for dinner tonight" Luke suddenly said and Calum looked at him uneasily.
"I don't know if I really feel up to it, Luke. I mean-"
"Come on, Cal. You deserve to have a bit of fun. Ashton is going out somewhere and Michael is visiting family, so it'll just be the two of us. Come on, Calum. We can go to Italian" Luke pleaded. He was desperate to get his best friend back and this was all part of his 'Cheer Up Calum' plan.
After a little more convincing, Calum finally gave in and Luke left the room to let him get ready and to get ready himself. Calum was finally starting to seem like he'd actually get better, and that excited Luke to no end.
So, once both boys looked presentable enough in their skinny jeans and band shirts, they headed out together.
"I'm getting those pre-date jitters" Luke joked, holding his hand out and making it shake vigorously, and Calum just rolled his eyes and out his arm around Luke's neck, pulling his head down and lightly rubbing the top of the blonde boys hair with his fist as Luke laughed, pulling on Calum's arm and trying to get free.
Luke finally managed to wrestle out of Calum's grip and pushed him away, calling him a 'pesky whipper-snapper', and Calum just laughed, walking ahead of his taller friend.
They decided to walk to the restaurant, because if they were paying for dinner they didn't want to pay for petrol as well, plus it was a nice night and the restaurant wasn't that far away.
Luke took a few extra large steps and caught up with Calum, and soon their footsteps were moving in time as they walked along, occasionally cracking a joke or two.
This was the first time Luke had seen even a tiny glimpse of the old Calum, and it gave him a lot hope. Sure, he wasn't 100% back, but at least he was finally smiling.
Calum felt so great to actually be enjoying the feeling of existence. It was the first time in such a long time that he finally felt, for lack of a better word, okay. Sure, it was great, or amazing, but it was better.
They continued to walk when Calum spotted a girl walking towards them. As she came closer, his heart stopped and his breath hitched, because it was her.
He shook his head slightly and blinked his eyes, and realised that the girl he had seen didn't even resemble Hayley. A pang hit his chest and suddenly he didn't feel so okay anymore.
"You all good?" Luke asked.
Calum had realised how happy Luke had been ever since Calum cracked that first smile today, and he didn't want to bring his best mates hope to it's knees, so instead he lied and said yes, he was good.
They reached the restaurant and Calum was hit by another wash of memories and he gulped as he thought back to the millions of times Hayley had talked about how perfect Italian food is. He was trying to look at all of these memories in a positive light, and before he saw that girl on the street it was working, but now he was being hit by the exact same pain that all thoughts of her brought onto him.
They walked inside and Luke got them a table, ordering Calum to sit down while he went and got some menus, even though they both already knew what they were getting.
Sure enough, when Luke returned, the two boys skimmed over the menus for about a second before calling the waiter over and placing their orders.
They sat and chatted until their drinks came, and then they talked some more and sipped on their Cokes. Neither of them felt like drinking tonight, even though Luke did feel the need to celebrate, but he also didn't think walking all that way home drunk would be the best idea. He had these sudden spurts of responsibility sometimes and it always shocked everyone.
They're meals came and Calum dug into his spaghetti bolognaise and Luke ate his lasagna, almost crying because it tasted so great.
They finished eating rather quickly, because it turns out talking about Calum's ex-girlfriend had quite the toll on a boy's stomach, and the same waiter with the slicked back brown hair from before collected their plates.
They ordered dessert and Calum got up and walked to the toilet while they waited for their ice-cream and tiramisu's to turn up.
He walked into the men's room and quickly peed, washing his hands and wiping them on his pants on the way out. On his way out he stopped in his tracks because he could've sworn he heard her laugh.
He looked around frantically, and out of the corner of his eye he saw her. But when he turned, she was gone and a girl with blonde hair had taken her place. He looked around again and swore he saw her once more, but once again the face of a completely different woman soon replaced Hayley's features.
He was almost positive he was out of his mind, so he rushed towards the table he was sharing with Luke because he felt like he was about to pass out, but on the way he ran into something. And when he looked at what he had bumped into, he saw a black wall. He spun around and pressed his back against the wall, running a hand down his face as he let out a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.
But then he heard yet another familiar laugh, this one sounded like Ashton's, and this time when he looked up his eyes fell straight onto his other best friend, who was sitting at a table facing a girl.
But it wasn't just any girl, it was the girl. Calum's girl. Well, Calum's ex- girl. But he still referred to her as his girl anyway because it just made it easier to pretend.
He could only see the back of her head but he knew it was her. He had fallen asleep to the sight of it so many times, it sometimes even visited him in his dreams when he imagined falling asleep next to her again, but then he'd wake up and feel the same emptiness of her side of the bed inside of him.
It was the first time he'd seen her in person since she left, and he already knew she looked great without even seeing her face.
He wanted to talk to her but he couldn't even move, so he doubted he'd be able to speak.
Calum mustered up as much strength as he could and walked over to Luke, trying his absolute hardest to stay unseen by the two.
"She's here"
"What?" Luke asked, looking up at Calum confusedly, and the dark-haired boy shakily slid into his chair, running a trembling hand through his hair. "Calum, what's going on? You look like you've just seen fucking Satan or something"
"She's here. Her and Ashton are fucking here" Calum muttered, his voice hoarse.
"You're sure?"
"Yes I'm fucking sure!" Calum whisper yelled.
"Did they see you?"
"No, I don't think so. God, Luke, this is messed up. Of course she'd fucking be here" Calum had sworn more times in his head and out loud in the last few minutes than he had ever done in such a short period of time, but it seemed appropriate at the time.
"Just, calm down. Do you want to talk to her?"
"Yes, of course I do, but that's a fucking terrible idea"
"Right, yeah. Okay, just try and forget she's even here. Oh look, desserts here. I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream" Luke mumbled frantically, laughing nervously after his slight rambling. He had no idea what to do in this situation. God, he needed a 'How To Best Friend For Dumbies' manual or something.
Calum sighed and sat down, jabbing a spoon into his dessert that he didn't exactly feel like anymore.
"I can't believe Ashton didn't tell
me" Calum groans, pushing away his plate, and Luke quickly grabs it.
"You don't want this, do you?" Luke asked, already taking a spoonful, and Calum shook his head. "Maybe he didn't want to upset you"
"He should've told me though. You would've told me, right? I mean, I would've told you guys. This is something you should tell
your best mate about"
"What does it matter?" Luke asks, not really seeing the point to Calum's anger.
"Luke, that's my ex-girlfriend, who, incase you haven't noticed, I'm still not over, like at all. And he, my best friend, who knows that I am not over her at all, is out to dinner with her, having a grand old time, and I wasn't informed. My best friend, and my ex-girlfriend. It's not cool"
"I thought I was your best friend?" Luke says and Calum rolls his eyes. It's clear that Luke's genius streak of today has completely worn off by now. "Well, they are close, they have been for years, way before we even knew Ashton"
"But he should know to at least tell me!"
"You're acting like a chick and I don't like it" Luke says, and Calum just groans a little too loudly, making almost the entire restaurant look over at them. Including the one person he didn't want to.
"Can we go home, please?" Calum pleads. He was upset and he felt heartbroken all over again, and he just wanted to curl up in his bed and escape
for a few hours.
Luke sighed and nodded, and they split the bill and then left, even though Calum found it so hard to walk away.
In fact, it was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. He just turned his back on her and walked out and it felt terrible. The pit in his stomach grew into a lump in his throat as they walked further and further away, and soon Calum was choking out a sob of emotion and he had to sit down on the sidewalk, once again.
"God, what is wrong with me?" Calum asks, putting his head in one hand and swiftly wiping away his tears with the other.
"You're in love"

//

"Please tell me you're not serious" Ashton sighed, putting his hand on Calum's shoulder.
"Dead serious" Calum nodded.
"Cal, I'm telling you, she likes you. Just, make a move or something"
"No, I can't"
"Yes, you can! I don't understand how you possibly think she hasn't been flirting with you, I mean you've both been foot-to-the-floor ever since she came here"
"She's probably just being friendly?" Calum shrugged. He was making up excuses but it was only because he couldn't wrap his head around Hayley possibly liking him.
"Calum, you guys were basically having sex in the pool yesterday"
"She splashed me" Calum defended and Ashton just rolled his eyes.
"You couldn't keep your hands off of each other, Luke almost had to pull you apart because we were worried we were going to be exposed to live porn"
"Exactly why I didn't want Luke to pull you two apart" Michael said from the lounge, not looking away from his phone screen and all three of the boys rolled their eyes.
"What do you think, Luke?" Ashton asked the blonde boy sitting next to him and he just shrugged.
They were all playing a pretty intense game of Go Fish while Hayley was having a nap, and it somehow led to talking about Hayley. That tended to happen a lot.
"I don't wanna make a dick out of myself by asking he-" Calum stopped his words as soon as he heard footsteps. "Luke, do you have a 7?" He asked, and Luke just looked at him confusedly because of the sudden topic change, but then his eyes widened as Hayley walked into the room with her hair messy and eyes half closed.
"Uh, Go Fish" Luke said but Calum didn't hear. He was too busy staring at her with his mouth slightly open.
"Calum, you're drooling" Ashton whispered, nudging the boy in the ribs.
Calum didn't even care anymore, though. He couldn't go another day without telling her that he wanted her all to himself.
He thought he could contain his feelings, but now that she was standing there in Calum's shirt that she had picked up from the floor after sleeping in his bed because she thought it was the comfiest in the house, with her hair slightly frazzled and her Hazel eyes in the shape of almonds, and when she covered her mouth to suppress a yawn, he thought one thing to himself. 'Fuck it'.
"Anyone interested in going to the shops?" She asked, running a hand through her hair.
"I need to get some new clothes so I'll tag along" Calum said and Hayley smiled at him.
"Well, I can't, Luke and I have some stuff to take care of"Ashton shrugged, and Luke looked at him weirdly.
"What, no we do-" He was cut off by Ashton sending him a glare. He could be so daft sometimes. "Oh, yeah. That" Luke smiled at himself for his 'epic save', even though he didn't convince a single person.
"Michael?" Hayley asks, and Michael just groaned in response, so she beamed at Calum. "Just us then, I'll go get ready and we can head off"
"What stuff do we need to take care of?" Luke asked Ashton as soon as she left. Ashton just answered him by slapping him over the head.