Dealing With Absence » h. styles au

46ᵀᴴ CHAPTER

                                        46ᵀᴴ CHAPTER 

                "Opportunity missed may not be regained" 

His hand is freezing cold when he closes the door behind him, the silence too thick to be anywhere near comfortable. His knuckles go white with how tightly he holds the knob before letting it go reluctantly, vaguely walking towards the small table next to the stove to put the groceries down.

Chrissie follows him quiet, the only proof of her even being there with him being the sound of her heels on the floor as they walk up the stairs and into Harry’s room.

He hasn’t been able to utter one single word ever since it sank in it was, indeed, Chrissie. His Chrissie, not some sort of mirage. She looks as amazing as she did the last time he laid eyes upon that sweet face, except now she’s looking older. She might have gained some weight as well, but her body hasn’t stopped being fit.

As he looks at her still a bit amazed, she fiddles with her own fingers and rocks back and forward in the back of her heels, just like he so dearly remembers her doing each time she found herself nervous.

It’s a sweet memory; always is, when he thinks back at their childhood. He can’t smile at it, though. He can’t force himself to feel relieved at the sight of the one who supposedly was the love of his life.

Harry’s not that sure anymore.

“Isn’t this room a bit too small for your persona?” Chrissie is tentative, but Harry is having none of it.

“Spit it out,” he finally chokes out, feet glued to the ground and hands loose next to his body, fingers itching to curl into fists. He keeps his eyes wide open despite the need to close them and pray it all is nothing but a dream.

“Ouch, Harry. Since when are you this rude?” Chrissie questions, daring a step toward him.

Harry takes one back.

“Since when you stopped giving a shit about how I behave,” he spits back, his walls suddenly back up.

He can still see it in her eyes the glint she had when she turned her back to him and decided he was no longer worth her time; a small piece of her life whatsoever. He can still see the happiness behind her irises, a happiness that had nothing to do with him, one that would only increase when he left once and for all.

And he did it, dammit. He let go of her, didn’t he? So why is she back?

“Don’t go back there, Haz, please,” she begs, but solemnly, she only sounds tired. Like she can’t bear going through the same thing again.

Then she shouldn’t have come back, he thinks, shrinking at how Haz sounds undeniably wrong coming from her lips. They’re not intimate anymore, she doesn’t have the right to call him whatever she feels like.

“Harry, for you,” he states darkly, hoping his tone will somehow warn her.

Chrissie only sighs.

“Can you please get over it? Jesus, Harry, I didn’t choose him over you. You were the one who decided you couldn’t accept my choices, you went away, not me!” she loses it, stepping even closer, and Harry can’t go much further without bumping against the window.

“They were wrong choices!” He yells back, then suddenly breathes in like he hasn’t done such for decades. He closes his eyes to try and calm down himself, because he’s not going to lose it. No way.