Runner Girl

Chapter Seventeen

Practice is canceled today, but that doesn't mean I get a break. In fact, my stomach is a fluttery tangle of nerves and nausea; it's the first game I've felt confident enough to cheer for, so it's my debut as a cheerleader. Despite the fact that I sort of want to spend all afternoon rehearsing the routine to make sure I don't screw up tonight, when Kary drops by my locker after school and asks if I have any plans, I find myself asking her if she wants to go to the soccer game with me.

She thinks about it for a second. "Is this about a boy?" She finally asks, piercing me with her stare.

I hesitate, but then I remember that she doesn't know about the fight we had before the dance. On the one hand, I'm almost relieved, since I can't stand to feel on the outs with her, but on the other hand, I wish I had somebody I could confide in. I swallow nervously. I consider lying to her, telling her that no, I've just suddenly developed an interest in sports and school spirit, but then I nod. "Rakesh. You know him, right?"

She nods thoughtfully, considering something. "He's not too awful," she finally concedes. "I mean, if you have to like somebody, at least he's nice."

Even though it's not a ringing endorsement, I hug my backpack to my chest sappily and sigh. "And cute," I say, remembering the gold flecks in his eyes and the way his smile makes my heart do somersaults.

Kary snorts derisively, but she doesn't comment, and we walk to the soccer field behind the school together. I recognize most of the players on our team, boys I've seen in the halls, but my eyes skim over them, looking for one in particular. I don't see him on the field, and my heart drops. "Maybe he's not playing," I say, scanning the bench.

Kary taps my shoulder. "Look in the net."

I swing my eyes where she's pointing, and a sappy grin breaks over my face as I recognize Rakesh at the other end of the field, bouncing on his toes in his bright colored long-sleeve jersey. "He's the goalie!"

"Obviously, Lana." Kary shades her eyes against the sun. "Do you want to sit down near that end of the field, so you can see him better?"

I'm surprised; she's seemed neutral at best about anything girly, especially my crush, but then I give her a quick hug. She may not be interested, I realize, but at least she's a good enough friend to pretend. "You don't think that's too stalkerish?"

She laughs. "Just being here is sort of stalkerish, don't you think?"

"He invited me," I say defensively, and Kary just shakes her head. Still, she doesn't tease me as we walk down the field and plop on the grass as close to the goal as I dare to get without looking completely obvious. I don't know if Rakesh notices us; his eyes are on the game that's starting, and as much as I sort of want to just sit there and stare at him like he's a male model or something, I get sucked into the game. The ball is moving fast and furious across the field, and our team is clearly playing to win. When the other side takes a long shot at the goal and Rakesh dives for it, blocking it just before it slips into the net, I cheer as loud as anybody else, and Kary even whistles beside me.

Rakesh looks up at the sound, and his eyes lock on mine. With a big smile, he gives me a theatrical wink as he tosses the ball into the air and head butts it back onto the field. I flush, wondering if anyone else notices that he's singling me out.

"You've got it bad," Kary observes, picking at a blade of grass beside her. "How long has this been going on?"

"Since before the dance, I guess," I say without thinking. Kary tenses beside me, and I realize my mistake; there wasn't any dance, at least not as far as she's concerned. I open my mouth to cover up what I just said, but something in my friend's face stops me.