When You Can't Sleep at Night

It Never Ends

"Cas!" Dean's scream pierced through the air, sending chills down Castiel's spine. 

Dean was pinned against the wall of a small alley, and the demon standing over him had a knife pressed against his throat. Cas tried to rush at the demon, to scream, to do anything, but he couldn't will his shaky legs to move or his throat to produce any words. 

"Cas!" Dean screamed again as the demon raised the knife preparing to stab Dean in the chest. Just as the tip of the knife sunk into Dean's flesh, Cas was jolted awake by a hand pressing into the still-sensitive scars across his chest. 

"Cas, hey, calm down," Dean said, grasping Cas' upper arm. 

Cas let his gaze fall from Dean's concerned eyes to his bare chest, just to ensure he hadn't been stabbed by a demon. Dean was fine, staring at Cas, his green eyes showing his worry. Cas propped himself up on his elbows, running a hand over his scars. It had been over a month since he was attacked by the hellhound, and the wounds had closed up, but they still hurt a little. 

"Ow," Cas whimpered, trying to relieve the pain Dean had put him in by disturbing the scarred flesh. 

"Sorry, it was the only way I could wake you up," Dean said, turning to sit on his own bed. He rested his hands in his lap. "What were you dreaming about anyway?" Dean asked, rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

Cas sat up, hanging his feet off the edge of the bed. He smiled when he saw Dean, who was wearing only his boxers and had messy hair. 

"Nothing," Cas said casually, doing his best to act unaffected. 

"Yeah ok," Dean said gruffly. "Looked like you were having some kind of seizure, Cas. That must have been one hell of a nightmare. I thought you weren't having those any more," Dean said, his tone becoming more gentle with every word. Cas stared at his lap, not wanting to meet Dean's eyes. His eyes pierced through Cas, like he could pick apart every thought in Cas' head and every emotion in his heart. Dean reached out to grab the smaller man's hand, giving it a little squeeze. Cas finally raised his ocean blue eyes, meeting Dean's gaze. 

"I haven't been, at least not as much. But I think I'm getting used to them. Really. It's nothing." Dean rubbed the pad of his thumb over the back of Cas' hand, knowing that he was lying but not wanting to intrude. 

"Okay," Dean sighed, looking over Cas' body one more time. Cas truly had become accustomed to the night terrors. They didn't scare him very much now, and they were usually short lived and forgettable. Dean still worried about Cas, knowing all too well how terrifying the dreams could be. 

"Maybe it would help if you weren't so alone over there," Dean said with a smug grin. Cas returned a smile, and Dean climbed into the bed behind the smaller man. Cas laid on his right side, and Dean pressed his chest  tightly against Cas' back. Cas placed his hand against his own scarred chest, Dean reaching around to cover it and intertwine their fingers. Cas fell asleep quickly, his breaths becoming slow and steady. Dean pressed his mouth against Cas' neck, and soon drifted to sleep as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cas woke up just as he had fallen asleep, wrapped in Dean's arms. Although now, his grip was incredibly tight and Cas couldn't get up. 

"Dean," Cas said sleepily, trying to wiggle out of Dean's hold. "Dean let go," Cas groaned, attempting to pry Dean's strong arms off of him. Dean was awake now, but he didn't let go, he only grasped tighter, burying his face into Cas' hair. Dean giggled as Cas tried to get away, but Dean was stronger than him, and he eventually gave up. He groaned, slightly annoyed. "Deeaan," Cas whined. "Sam is gonna be waiting on us." 

As if on cue, Dean and Cas heard Sam pounding on the door of the small hotel room. The two men jumped out of the bed, pulling on whatever clothes they could find. Cas pulled on a blue button up shirt and some jeans, and Dean found a dark green tshirt and a faded pair of jeans. Dean ran to the door to let Sam in. He pulled the door open to see Sam's annoyed face. Dean gave a nervous grin and shrugged his shoulders. Sam rolled his eyes and pushed past his brother, sitting down in a small chair. 

"You guys were supposed to meet me outside 30 minutes ago," Sam said, eyeing Dean. Dean looked over at Cas to avoid Sam's glare, and Cas gave him the "I told you so" look. 

"Look just let it go, you're late all the time," Dean shot at Sam after a brief silence. Dean crossed his arms and looked away from Sam and Cas. 

"Sam, do you have a case?" Cas asked timidly, trying to ease the tension. 

"Actually, yes," Sam said, his eyes brightening. "But um, Cas, could I talk to Dean for a second?" 

"Of course," Cas said, not moving from his position, propped against the counter.

"I mean- alone," Sam said, narrowing his eyes and searching Cas' face for any signs of hurt. 

"Oh," Cas said, nodding and moving across the room toward the door. "I'll wait out here then," he said, walking out and giving Sam an understanding smile. Sam returned it, and Cas shut the door.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, his face showing his confusion. 

"Angel kills," Sam returned, throwing a newspaper in Dean's direction. 

Four people dead, Dayton, Ohio, eyes burned out, insides vaporized. 

Ever since the angels were ejected from heaven, Sam, Dean, and Cas had been trying to figure out how to get them back, but without the advantage of Cas' grace, they were having a hard time. All they could do was work normal cases while Kevin worked to translate the tablet. But now that the angels were killing innocent humans, the situation became far more urgent.

"I think maybe Cas should sit this one out," Sam said. "It would be dangerous. The angels are probably still looking for him. And besides, I don't think he is ready to take down any angels. That would be kinda like salting the wounds, don't you think?" Sam was concerned for Cas, but Dean played it down.

"He'll be fine. Cas is tough. He will do the right thing." Dean said.

"Well maybe you should talk to him," Sam said, and Dean knew he was right. "I'll pack the car, you two talk," Sam told his brother, walking to the door with Dean behind him. 

Cas was sitting on a small bench several feet away from the door. His eyes were intently focused on a small bird. He was sitting still, not wanting to scare the small creature away. He smiled as it hopped toward him. Dean and Sam exchanged a look, not wanting to ruin Cas' happiness with the news. Dean plopped down on the bench beside Cas. The bird flew away, startled by the noise Dean made. 

"Hey, Cas, we have a case." Dean said timidly, testing the waters. 

"Yes, that's what Sam said." 

Cas frowned at the ground where the bird had been, slightly disappointed that Dean scared it away. 

"It's just that- um, some people died Cas. And they were killed by angels."

"What?" Cas asked, the shock showing in his eyes. "I knew they were killing other angels, but innocent humans?" Cas hung his head, his eyes beginning to fill with tears. He blinked them back, and said angrily, "This is my fault." 

"Cas we've been over this. It's not your fault." Cas had his shoulders slumped over, and wouldn't look into Dean's eyes. 

"Sam thinks you should sit this one out, but-"

"He's right." Cas said gruffly. 

"Cas, come on, we could use-"

"Dean, I said no!" Cas shot back, cutting him off again.

"You think the angels will kill you?" Dean asked.

"Maybe, but that's not the problem. I won't kill any more angels, Dean. I can't." 

Cas brought his eyes up to meet Dean's. They held the stare for a couple seconds.

"Okay, but maybe we won't have to kill anyone. Maybe we could just talk."

Cas gave Dean an helpless look. "Dean, these angels, they're angry, and they want to go home. Talking isn't going to help. The best thing to do is to figure out how to get them back to heaven."

"Well first we're gonna knife the angel that killed those people. I'm sorry Cas, but it has to be done."

"I know." Cas said, returning his gaze to the ground.