Chapter 7

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Camila opened her eyes looked over to see daylight streaming through the window. She rolled over and looked at the clock: 7:30am. It was Christmas morning. She closed her eyes
and stretched, trying to wake herself up. For dome reason, she just couldn't stop smiling.
Her mind kept recalling the explosive events that had transpired between her and lauren last night. She felt giddy. Her stomach was
churning, almost dancing every time she would breathe in. She was nervous, but it was definitely a good kind of nervous. She sat straight up and by this point was wide awake.
The pure excitement she was feeling had taken away whatever fatigue she had when she first woke up. For the first time in what felt like
years, camila felt truly happy. She felt like she could honestly say without hesitation that she was sincerely content with everything at this
exact moment. And all it took was for her to finally admit and accept her feelings for lauren.
By now, she couldn't hold her anticipation back any longer. She had to go down stairs to see lauren. It was cold once camila got out of bed,
but she didn't bother grabbing her robe. She was in too much of a hurry to rush down stairs.
She forgot what this felt like. She felt like a kid again on Christmas morning, waking up early and running out to see what would be waiting for her in the living room. Only this
time, she knew. It was Lauren. And she knew it was better than any Christmas present she had ever gotten.
Once she hit the top of the stairs on the second floor, she could hear two people talking downstairs. One of the voices she heard was Lauren's. She would know that voice anywhere.
Anytime she heard it, camila would just light up. She didn't know who lauren was talking to, but she could only assume it was Eli. She
eagerly bounded down the stairs, as she heard the voices grow louder. As she neared the bottom of the stairs, she was greeted with a shy smile from Lauren,  who was standing in front
of the fireplace. Camila stayed planted on the bottom step, holding onto the railing. She was frozen, forgetting where she was at that moment because all she could see was Lauren,
who looked absolutely beautiful this morning. Camila smiled back at lauren.
"Hey!"
Lauren nodded, coyly. "Hey."
Camila could tell something was off. She thought lauren would be more excited to see her. Maybe she was a little naïve to think that lauren
would come running up to her and throw her arms around her. Or maybe lauren didn't remember what had happened between them last night. Or maybe she was upset about it.
All these questions began to cloud camila's thoughts as she began to feel the slightest tinge of regret. Camila shook those notions out of her head and finally acknowledged Eli, who
was sitting on the couch talking to Eli.
"Hey Eli," said camila, as she maintained her position on the bottom step.
"Eli? Wow, Mila.  I'm kind of insulted."
Camila's breath caught in her throat as David stood up from the couch and turned around to face her.
"David. I-I thought you were in San Francisco."
"I was. But I felt bad about leaving you over Christmas, so I thought I'd cut my trip short and surprise you." As camila walked towards the living room, he came around the couch and
gave her a hug. As camila'schin rested on his shoulder, she looked over at Lauren, who looked
right back at her and just shrugged.
Camila could see lauren's green eyes were filled with confusion and helplessness, which is exactly
what Camila was feeling at this moment. Camila just looked at Lauren in awe. Her mouth was
slightly open as if to say 'I don't know' as she shook her head and shrugged.
She remained in that half-hearted embrace with David until he finally pulled away. "You
don't seem too excited to see me."
"Oh, I am. I just…I mean I just woke up and I guess I'm just overwhelmed right now. What time did you get here?" Camila asked, as she looked back over at Lauren in wonderment.
"About an hour ago. Lauren here was kind enough to let me in."
Camila looked back and forth between David and Lauren. "So you two have just been….talkin this whole time?"
Lauren nodded. "Yeah. I woke up around 6. I couldn't get back to sleep. I guess it's just all
the excitement…you know…from the holidays and everything."
Lauren's eyes were smoldering as she looked at camila.  She wanted exactly was camila wanted:
to wake up this morning and hold onto her and kiss her, just as she did last night. She had to touch Camila. Even if it was just for a moment, she had to feel her once more, so she walked over to her and gave her a hug.
"By the way, good morning. Merry Christmas,"
said lauren as she tightly held on to camila.
Neither girl wanted to let go of this embrace.
Camila took a deep breath and tried to
memorize this feeling of Lauren in her arms. She had no idea when she'd be able to feel that
again. Both girls knew if they held on a second longer, it might seem suspicious, so they reluctantly let go. As they pulled apart, their
eyes remained fixated on each other. Camila tried to silently express to lauren that she was sorry. That she wanted to hold her. That she
wished David had never shown up. Lauren gave camila a knowing nod. She was aware of exactly
was camila was feeling. But they both knew there was nothing to be done about it at this
moment.
"Boy mila, I can see why you speak so highly of this girl. Lauren's led quite an interesting life," David chimed in.
"Oh. Yeah. Yeah, she's traveled to a lot of places. Met some interesting people," replied camila.
"Yeah, I can't believe it took us this long to really talk. Some of her stories were quite amusing," said David. Lauren walked passed camila and whispered,
"Yeah, he almost laughed a couple times. Shocking."
Camila started to chuckle at lauren's statement, but caught herself before David could see it.
"David? Well, hi! What are you doing here?" exclaimed Lily, as she and Alejandro started walking down the stairs.
"Well, I thought I'd surprise everyone and be here for Christmas."
"That's great! Camila, isn't that fantastic?" asked Lily.
"Oh…yeah. I was totally surprised." Camila plastered on a not-so-genuine smile for appearances sake.
"Well, I didn't want my wife to be alone on Christmas," said David.
"She's not alone," protested lauren "She's got her whole family here. Everyone who cares about her."
That may have come off a little stronger than lauren expected it to. She didn't even know
where that came from. But she knew the story behind his fight with camila and really didn't
appreciate him trying to come off as the good guy in all this.
"Well, yeah, I know that. But….." David didn't know what to say. He was thrown off by Lauren's remark. He looked over and saw Alejandro.
"Oh, hey Mr. Cabello. Merry Christmas."
Alejandro looked David up and down. "Yeah. Hi."
Lily nudged Alejandro in the ribs.
"Oh…yeah…how are you, David?" asked Alejandro
as he went to shake his hand. "Glad you could fit us into your busy schedule."
Once the awkwardness subsided, Eli, Grace and
Zoe joined everyone in the living room and everyone began to open their presents.
"So mila, what did David get you?" asked Zoe.
"Oh…uh…I don't know actually," replied camila.
David spoke up. "Well, actually. I didn't really have time to get her anything." He looked over at camila and put his hand on her leg. "Sorry,
sweetie. I've just been so bogged down with work and everything. I was gonna get you something in California, but I just didn't have time."
Camila lowered her head. No so much from disappointment, but more from embarrassment.
She wasn't let down She wasn't even surprised that David didn't get her anything. She was just uncomfortable with the fact that she married someone who would forget to get her a
Christmas gift. She just nodded. "That's okay.
Don't worry about it."
Alejandro looked at David in disbelief. He was fuming and Lily knew it. He stood up and began to walk into the kitchen. "Excuse me for
a moment. I need some coffee."
Lily went after him. "Ale, what's the matter." "Did you see that look on mila's face? She was crushed!"
"I know, ale, but you have to calm down."
"No! That kid has made my daughter so
unhappy and she can't see that. That's what's frustrating. She just accepts all of his stupid excuses."
"Then let her accept them. At least for now. Just let this go for now. It's Christmas. But you need to talk to her. She's obviously not
happy and you need to talk to her about it. Let her know that it's okay to talk about it. But for now, just don't make a scene, okay?"
Alejandro took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay.
Okay, you're right."
They walked back into the living room and everyone finished opening their presents.
Meanwhile, camila  and lauren would catch each other's glances every once in a while. They made sure to keep the looks short, but they were full of intensity. After a while, it got to
the point where both girls knew they had to be alone together. Lauren got up and caught camila's eye as she walked into the kitchen.
Camila soon followed her. Among the
pandemonium of opening presents, no one really noticed they had left. And David had stepped out for a cigarette; a habit he had recently taken up that camila found revolting.
Lauren pulled herself up and sat on the counter in the kitchen while camila leaned against the
counter, facing her, but just far enough away to make things look innocent.
"So…" Lauren began.
"Yeah…."
"Last night was…."
"Yeah…." Camila smiled and nodded. "Yeah….it was."
"But now…."
"David."
"Yeah. David," repeated lauren.
Camila looked down at her feet. She could feel her body struggling to stay where it was. She wanted to lean forward so badly. She wanted to
grab onto lauren's back and pull herself into her, but she kept her hands on the counter.
She kept her body at a safe enough distance from lauren.
"It was nice of him to cut his trip short and show up today," said lauren
Lauren looked at camila perplexed. "Well…yeah, but he shouldn't have left in the first place.
And then he showed up empty handed."
"Yeah, he did. But his intentions were good. I mean, that was really sweet of him. It makes me think maybe-"
"What?" Lauren was dreading what camila was about to say next. "It make you think what, camz?"
"I don't know. It makes me think that maybe he and I can work things out."
Lauren jumped off of the counter, startling camila. She walked toward camila and gently grabbed her arms.
"Camz, tell me your not serious. Please tell me you're not serious."
"What?"
"You don't love him!" Lauren was speaking forcefully, but trying to keep her voice down.
"I'm married to him," insisted camila.
"But you don't love him!"
Camila was silent for a moment, unable to look lauren in the eyes. Finally she whispered, "I know."
"So don't go back with him. Tell him it's over."
"I can't."
"Why not?" Lauren's face was dangerously close
to camila's. Camila could hear the desperation in lauren's voice and she could feel the older girl's
hands shaking as they gripped her arms.
"I have to make this work. I have to try."
"Why?"
"Because. I've never really been good at anything. I have to at least try to be good at marriage. I can't just give up on it."
Lauren was dumbfounded. "Are you kidding me? You've never been good at anything? Camz, what
about your music? Your singing? You aren't good at it, you're great at it. And you know it.
You can make it as a singer. And I can't believe you can't see that.'
"David doesn't think I could."
"I know he doesn't! And you're still thinking of going back with him?"
"I don't know. I just…."
Lauren tried to regain her composure. She loosened her grip on camila's arms and brought her in even closer. She looked the brunette up
and down. She wanted to make her see how amazing she was. Lauren just couldn't understand how camila's self-esteem could be at such an all-time low. She wanted this girl to
know how incredible she really was. She didn't want her to go back to David. Last night, camila
was finally in her arms, finally willing to
accept her feelings for lauren and lauren wasn't ready to lose that.
"Camz,  leave him. Please. I need you to not be with him anymore. You deserve better. You deserve someone who makes you laugh, someone who will be there for you whenever
you need them. I need you to leave him, camz. I need you to do that because…because I'm in love with you."
Lauren could hear camila's breath grow heavier.
Camila couldn't tear hear eyes away from lauren.
She couldn't even blink. Lauren continued. "I've been in love with you
from the moment I met you. Even before that.
The moment I heard your voice on that stage for that play you guys did back in high school.
I heard that voice and then I saw your face… and I just knew. And then when I met you, everything just seemed to click…to fall into place. And every time you spoke, I fell in love with you even more. And with every look you
gave me, I fell in love with you even more. And with every touch, every hug, every whisper…I
just fell. I'm completely in love with you. I have been for 7 years. And I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you so many times and I'm sorry I didn't. I just didn't want to ruin our friendship, because what we have…this
friendship that we have…it's so great. It's such a big thing and I would never want anything to destroy it. But I'm telling you this now because you deserve to know the truth.
And you deserve to know that there's someone out there who loves you and adores the way you deserve to be adored."
Camila remained silent. Every word out of lauren's mouth was slowly sinking into her. But she wasn't ready to talk. She didn't know why,
but her brain was not letting her mouth move.
She could vaguely hear the voices coming from the living room, but all she could focus on was
Lauren's mouth as the words so poetically came pouring out.
Lauren could see she wasn't getting much of a reaction, so she pulled camila even closer to her. Once again, their faces were only centimeters apart as she continued.
"I want to make it up to you. I want to make up to you all those moments I wasn't there and I
should have been. I'm sorry. Please
understand, that's why I had to leave. It broke my heart to say goodbye to you every time, but I knew if I stayed, I might say something I'd
regret and then our friendship would be over and I just couldn't have that. And I want to make up to you for all those times that David
treated you like crap. Because no one should ever treat you that way. And if you give me the chance, I swear I'll make up for every mistake
that HE made. Because maybe if I had said something to you sooner, you wouldn't be with him. And you wouldn't have felt that pain from
all those times he put you down and made you cry. I want to love you. I want to touch you. I want to worship your entire body. I want to
grow old with you, Camz. On a ranch…in Montana. I want to buy you that ranch and just live out the rest of my days being with you. I've been so many places trying find any
place I might fit in, but the only place I fit is with you. And the more I traveled, the more Icame to realize…you're the reason I was born."
Before Lauren could get any reaction out of camila, she brought her hands up to camila's face. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"
She pulled camila in as their lips collided once more. Camila let go of all her inhibitions and
graciously accepted the kiss, not even thinking about the fact that her entire family was in the next room and could walk in at any minute.
She didn't even take into consideration that David could walk in and catch them, as well.
She just let lauren guide her lips into an insatiable, mind-blowing kiss. The kiss was equal parts passion, desire, lust, love, longing, and acceptance. The kiss was so overpowering,
Lauren lunged forward and lifted camila onto the counter, next to the sink. Camila's head banged
into the cabinets above, but she didn't care. Lauren slowly reached her hand up to the back of camila's head and cradled it, while bringing
Camila in closer, deepening the kiss. Camila's hands were wrapped behind Lauren's neck as Lauren's other hand slowly made its up camila's
shirt. As that stray hand found camila's
breast, both girls let out a moan as lauren began to slowly massage it, letting each motion slowly linger, bringing camila an indescribable
feeling of pleasure.
Suddenly, they heard footsteps heading towards the kitchen.
"Camila ! Are you in here?" David's voice was approaching quickly.
Camila rapidly pulled her lips away from lauren's kiss,  and lightly pushed lauren away.
She felt horrible seeing lauren's stunned look, but really didn't want David walking in to see that.
"Yeah! I'm in here."
David appeared in the doorway. "Well, come back out here."
"I will. Just give us a minute, okay?"
"Fine." David shrugged and headed back to the living room.
Lauren looked at camila, her body still reeling from what had just happened. She wanted to continue where they left off, but something told her that wasn't going to happen.
"So…I guess we should get back in there," said camila.

"Oh my God," whispered lauren.
"What?"
"You're not gonna do it."
"What do you mean."
"You're not gonna break it off with him, are you? You're gonna go back with him," stated lauren.
"Lauren,  I…"
"Oh my God." Lauren shook her head and started to panic. "I just made a complete ass of myself."
"No, no you didn't." Camila walked over towards her.
"Yeah, I did."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not. I get it, okay? I get it. I love you and you don't love me back. I get it. I suppose it's just the cross I'll have to bear."
"No. I'm glad you to told me that. Really, I just…I don't know what to do."
"Leave him."
"I have to try to make this work."
"Why? Because you have to be good at
something?" asked lauren.
Camila nodded.
Lauren took camila's hand, leaned in and whispered, "Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at."
Camila looked at her, not knowing what to say.
Lauren let go of camila's hand and reached into her pocket. She pulled out the letter and handed it to camila.
"Here. I wrote it 7 years ago, but it's managed to stand the test of time. Every word is still
true." She pulled camila in for one last hug. "Merry Christmas, Camz."
Lauren turned around and headed out the back door.
"Where are you going?" asked camila.
Lauren stopped and turned around. "I don't know. Ireland, maybe? I could use some Guinness right about now."
"But I don't want you to go," pleaded camila.
"You obviously need to figure stuff out. Call me if you need me. You know I'll always answer." And with that,lauren walked out the door.
Camila watched the door close and looked down at the envelop lauren had given her. She sat down at the kitchen table, opened the envelop and began to read the letter that Lauren had finally gotten the courage to give to her.

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