Chapter 9

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Sorry for any mistakes.

Camila's lips burned hungrily into Lauren's as the girls were absorbed in a rapturous kiss.
The sensation of camila's smooth lips against hers made lauren feel light-headed and deliriously stimulated. She drew closer to camila, intensifying the kiss, allowing her tongue to move slowly across Camila's lips. Camila's tongue greeted Lauren's as they fell
deeper into this moment. Lauren's hands moved leisurely around camila's waist as she pulled
their bodies together. Camila was indulging in Lauren's touch until she realized Lauren's hand
was making its way up her shirt. Suddenly, camila snapped out of her trance and pulled away from their kiss.
"I can't do this," said camila, as she backed away from Lauren.
Lauren had to take a moment to realize what was happening. "Can't do what?"
"This. Whatever this is. I can't," explained camila.
"Why? Did I do something wrong?" asked Lauren ,
trying not to show her devastation.
Camila looked down. "No. Well, I don't know. I just…"
"I'm sorry. I just thought you wanted to. I mean, you kissed me, so I thought you wanted me to kiss you back." Embarrassment and rejection were beginning to set in for Lauren.
"I did. I do, but…" Camila paused for a
moment. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"Why didn't you tell me how you felt? Why did you wait all this time? Why did it take you seven years to give me that letter?" asked camila.
Lauren looked at her hesitantly. "You read it?"
"Of course I read it. I must have read it
dozens of times since you gave it to me-"
"Because you didn't say anything about it, so I thought maybe you didn't-"
"I did. I just didn't know what to say," replied camila.
"Why didn't tell me before?"
"I told you. I didn't want to ruin our
friendship," said Lauren.
"But it's gotten to the
point where you're so unhappy…I don't know…I just wanted to be the one who makes you happy, so I told you."
Camila didn't know what to say. "So you felt that way about me since high school? Since we first met?"
Lauren nodded and felt horrible seeing camila start to cry.
"Camz, I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't have said anything, but I didn't want to keep it from you anymore. Can we just forget about it? Please.
Your friendship means more to me than
anything." Lauren lowered her head, unable to look camila in the eyes.
Camila' s tears continued to fall as she looked at Lauren. Camila was trying to choke out her words, but it was difficult with the lump she felt in her throat, so her words came out more like a whisper. "I wish you would have told me
sooner."
Lauren's head raised up. "What?"
Camila tried to compose herself and spoke again. "I said I wish you would have told me sooner. About how you feel. Because I wanted
you, too. I wanted you so badly and you never knew. And then you left and I never got over you."
Lauren was awestruck. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What?"
"There were so many times, lauren. So many times when I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to touch you. I wanted to tell you how I felt, but I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on
me. I thought it was just a really strong bond between us and nothing more. I convinced myself of that because I never would have thought you felt the same way. Had I known how you felt, I would have admitted it sooner."
Lauren leaned back on the dining table. If she didn't have its support, she probably would have fallen down. Her knees were starting to
give out from under her. Her mouth was slightly open in shock. "But…I'm telling you now. I mean, now you know. And now I know.
So-"
"It's not that simple, lauren. I'm married," Camila reminded her.
"Yeah, on paper. On paper you're married, camz, but we both know you're not gonna stay with him. Not after what he did."
"I know. But there are consequences to everything. Every action."
"Will stop with the consequences? You care too much what your family and everyone else thinks! What do you want? Forget about David,
forget about your parents, forget about me. What do YOU want, camila?"
Camila looked down. "I don't know."
Lauren closed her eyes in anguish. Part of her really thought Camila would say she wanted her.
Camila started backing up towards the door.
"Look, I'm sorry lauren. I should go. I need to think."
"Where are you going? Not back to David."
"No. No, I'll just go to my mom's."
"Well, let me at least drive you," offered Lauren.
"No, I should walk. It'll help me clear my head. I'm sorry. I can't…I just shouldn't be here. Not right now."
"Camila-"
Lauren started walking towards her, but camila had already stepped out the door and closed it behind her. Lauren stood there, not really knowing what to do. She was alone. Completely
alone. She remained standing there just watching the door, waiting for camila to come back in. She was hoping it would be like the movies, where she'd come bursting back in two minutes later. But that wasn't the case. The
door never opened. Lauren just waited,
contemplating her next move. Should she just go to sleep and hope that camila called the next day? Should she just give up and leave town again? Perhaps head over to Seattle, a
city she has yet to visit. Or should she go after camila and fight for what she knows could be something great? Lauren smiled to herself. She decided on the last option. She was going after camila. She grabbed her coat
off the chair and ran to the door. As she swung the door open, she stopped in her tracks as she saw Camila standing there. Both girls
just stared at each other until Camila finally spoke.
"I lied. I do know what I want."
Before lauren could say anything, camila rushed up to her and pushed lauren back into the apartment. She kicked the door shut with her
foot. She took Lauren, and thrust her up against the door and kissed her without thinking twice. Camila continued to hold lauren against the door while wildly attacking her lips.
Lauren had no complaints. At first, camila's actions threw her off, but once she realized what was happening, she fully accepted everything Camila was giving her. The force of
Camila's body against hers caused lauren to drop her coat onto the floor. She brought her hands up to camila's face, finding camila's lips utterly
irresistible. Lauren pulled herself away from the door and began pushing camila backward until they hit the dining table. The abrupt stop caused their bodies to press up against each
other. Lauren's mind was reeling. She couldn't believe everything she had been dreaming about for the last seven years was finally coming to fruition. Without breaking the kiss,
Lauren began to eagerly unbutton camila's sweater. Her hands were shaking as she fumbled with each button, but once the
sweater was on the floor, lauren pulled camila even closer to her. Camila then started to kick off her shoes and lauren followed suit until
they were both barefoot.
The kiss continued without being disrupted.
Neither girl could pull away from each other. Camila began to take over as she drove forward, turned around and pressed lauren up against the sliding glass door. Once Camila was
in command again, she began to pull at the hem of the older girl's sweatshirt, eventually pulling it up over lauren's head, revealing the tank top lauren was wearing underneath. For one
moment, they broke kiss in order to get the weatshirt off. Lauren looked at camila; confusion, wonderment, and passion in her eyes. Camila looked back at her and smiled. As lauren returned the smile, memories came
flooding back to her. Memories of every emotion she felt toward camila. Those moments of uncertainty when Lauren wanted to tell camila
how she felt. Moments of clarity, when Lauren knew that camila was the only one for her.
Moments of regret when Lauren would leave camila after camila begged her not to go. At this moment, Lauren began to feel all those years of pent up longing, pining, and yearning
she felt for camila. And she knew she had to take control again right there.
Lauren's lips collided with camila's once more as she walked forward and put camila up against the wall. She made sure to be gentle, after the
horrifying experience camila had just had with david. She didn't wanted any flashes of that moment coming back to camila. Camila wasn't thinking about the incident with David. She was
focused solely on lauren. Lauren continued to indulge upon camila's lips as she took hold of camila's shirt and gradually took it off. She began to slowly move her lips down to camila's
neck. She had coveted camila's soft skin for such a long time, so she took her time moving
her lips around her neck and shoulders. Camila tilted her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, taking pleasure every move lauren made. As Lauren's lips continued tantalizing
Camila's skin, camila's hands moved down to Lauren's hips as she searched for the button on her jeans. She began to unzip lauren's jeans as
she brought lauren's lips back to hers. Once the jeans were on the floor, lauren stepped out of
them as she brought her hands up to caress camila's bare stomach. Camila tore her lips away from lauren's for a moment. She just wanted to take the time to look lauren up and
down. By this point, lauren was only in a tank top and her underwear and the sight of lauren's long legs and exposed skin made camila  ache for her all the more.
As camila brought lauren in for another kiss, she pushed herself away from the wall and moved lauren backward, towards the kitchen. Camila's
hands were still gripping lauren's hips as the kitchen counter broke their momentum. As camila lifted lauren onto the counter, the pots and pans that were on the counter came
crashing to the ground, clanging loudly against the tile. Neither girl cared. Camila kicked some of the pots out of her way as she continued kissing lauren. Lauren could feel how cold the
counter was against her skin, but she didn't care. She used her legs to pull  camila in closer.
Camila began to pull at the straps on lauren's tank top, uncontrollably craving more of her.
Lauren's hands moved up and down camila's arms. Camila took lauren's hands and guided them to her jeans, which lauren began to slowly
unzip. They broke their kiss once more as lauren hopped off the counter, taking in the sight of camila in her bra and underwear. Camila brushed a few strands of hair out of lauren's
face as they stood their mesmerized by each other. Camila couldn't resist the allure of Lauren's green eyes. She jumped up and wrapped her
legs around lauren. As lauren caught her, they began violently kissing once more as she walked them over towards the couch. Before she could reach the couch, she accidentally knocked over the lamp that was next to it. Both
girls just ignored it and continued ravaging each other until Lauren slowly lowered camila to the ground and began to stroke her hair. Lauren shook her head as she began to speak.
"I'm actually out of words. I mean, the only thing that keeps going through my head is 'you're so beautiful.' But I know that's not enough. I feel like I need to say more." Camila smiled. "You said more than enough. Trust me. What you said on Christmas…and
that letter…that said it all."
"It's still true. Every word," assured lauren.
"I know. And in case you were wondering…I love you, too."
Lauren smiled shyly and began to look around.
"Wow. We made quite a mess."
Camila nodded. "Yeah."
"I think if you look closely, you can actually see the path of destruction through the whole apartment," said Lauren.
"Well, we haven't covered the WHOLE apartment yet," replied camolar as she took Lauren's hand and led her into the bedroom.
Once they were in the bedroom, lauren had to remind herself to breathe. She was nervous, but did her best not to show it. Lauren didn't
know why she was so nervous. She wasn't exactly new at this, but this time it was different. Very different. This time, it was camila. This was the first time she had everreally WANTED to do this. Every other time was
just a distraction…a means of blocking camila out of her mind for one moment of peace. But now that this was real and this was happening, lauren couldn't have been happier. All of the
agony he had felt over this unrequited love was being wash away by the mere fact the camila was standing right there in front of her. She
was simply elated. She leaned in to kiss camila gently as she lowered her on the bed. Camila brought her hands up to remove the last of Lauren's clothing, as Lauren did the same for her.
Lauren's lips started out at camila's mouth, slowly teasing their way down to her neck. She could feel camila's breath grow heavier as her
tongue ran along camila's skin. Lauren took her time and slowly explored camila's entire body
with her lips and tongue. Periodically, she dound a spot that would cause camila to let out an intoxicating moan. Lauren's lips came back to
join with camila's lips once more as she
grabbed for her hand and their fingers
entwined. Camila was taking delight in
everything Lauren was doing to her.
When she finally felt bold enough, camila's other hand began moving up and down Lauren's back, caressing her skin.Lauren began to exhale
heavily at the feeling of camila's hand on her. Camila's hand finally began to travel outside the realm of Lauren's back, moving up and down
her side and eventually finding their way to Lauren's stomach and finally, her breasts. Their hands were still intertwined as lauren began
squeezing camila's hand harder with each heightening pleasure. Lauren  couldn't believe everything she was feeling. She had never felt
so high in all her life. Camila was like a drug. Her skin was an addiction. Meanwhile, camila felt completely intoxicated. She had no idea
that falling in love could feel this good. She had no idea making love could ever feel this good. And she knew now that lauren was the only person she ever wanted to make love to. Camila
pulled her hand away from lauren's as she placed both her hands on lauren's waist. She gently rolled Lauren on her back and began to explore her body. As the night went on, the
two continued to make love, slowly and
passionately. Between the thirst they had for each other, the taste of each other's skin, the
teasing of their hands, and the friction of their bodies, both girls climaxed, holding each other tight as their bodies quivered with oleasure.
Afterward, lauren lay with her head on camila's chest, enjoying the sound of camila's heart rhythmically beating in her ear.
"Your heart's singing to me," Lauren remarked dreamily.
"What's it saying?"
"It's saying… 'you're no longer tired of
useless desires.'"
Camila laughed. "Yeah. That sounds about right." She grabbed lauren's hand and began tracing lines her palm.
"Camz?"
"Yeah?"
"Please don't go. I want you to stay the night with me."
"So now YOU'RE asking ME to stay? Whoa. So this is what it feels like to be on the other end of that."
Lauren smiled, knowing camila was joking with her. "So you'll stay?"
"The thought of leaving never even crossed my mind," replied camila.
"Good. Because I don't think I can move from this position," said lauren as she nuzzled her head on camila's shoulder. Camila looked down at lauren. "Well that's too bad. Because you're gonna have to move."
"Why? Is my massive fat head causing your shoulder to fall asleep?"
"No," replied camila
"Then why?"
"Because apparently making love to you once isn't enough for me," said camila as she brought Lauren's lips up to meet hers once more.
As the kiss began to intensify, Lauren gladly moved from her position to oblige to camila's request. After all, lauren always told camila she
would never deny her anything.

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