A Lot Of Love Hate - A Lilo/Narry fanfic:

Chapter 49

Chapter 49:

-          Niall’s POV –

 

Thursday afternoon:

…it’s been three days.

Harry’s called me a million times. Texted me two million. Inboxed me three.

I can’t answer.

I’m a terrible human being.

He must be freaking out.

But I can’t-

I mean-

…

November.

No-fucking-vember.

He’s liked me for that god damn lo-

No, that’s not even the worst part. It’s been eight months.

That’s enough time for love.

He’s probably in fucking love with me.

I can’t do this.

Love? I’m seventeen for Christ’s sake.

We’ve been dating for three weeks.

Who the hell could be expected to fall in love in three bloody weeks?!

Six fucking months for me is even a stretch.

This isn’t Disney no one falls in love that quick it’s not logical it doesn’t happen it doesn’t make sense and fuck, fuck, fuck Louis and Liam for trying to screw with us by saying that shit and making me find this out in the first place I can’t- I mean I won’t- what the fuck, fuckety, fuck fuck fuck am I supposed to do how the hell can I handle this and Harry, shit what about Harry he’s going to be so damn mad at me for avoiding him and what am I going to say I mean I’m a shit ass actor I can’t act natural around him anymore it’s fucked we’re fucked it’s all fucked to hell fuck fuck fucking fuck fuck fuc-

*Knock knock*

“...Ni..?” Harry murmured.

My entire brain stopped. I don’t think I even breathed or felt my heart beat until Harry knocked again.

“...Ni..all? ...can- can I come in..?” He pushed.

He sounds fucking terrified and that’s just brilliant because now we’re both fucking terrified and what the hell am I going to say to him why is he here god damn it why did he have to come her-

I heard the latch on my door click and the creak as it swung open.

I’m currently standing in the middle of my room, fists clenched around my hair, facing the wall away from my door and probably making the most painful, unattractive face I can muster right now.

What the hell do I say?

What the hell do I do?

I can’t look at him.

I can’t face him.

I can’t hurt him.

What.

Do.

I.

Do.