you're back | jenzie

fourteen • drifting and new friends

sorry if i don't update like i usually do. i started school august 10th (Friday) and i'm going to be busy, please be patient. thank you so much

vote and comment, don't be a ghost reader <3

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mackenzie ziegler

over the course of four weeks, johnny has been closer to nadia than me. laughing, smiling, hanging out.

sometimes i wished everything was the same from seven years ago. right after the drama, nadia came in.

she's pretty, gorgeous in fact. unlike me, i'm nowhere near that. nadia is kind, and guessing by john hanging out with her more, she's changed.

i've been more distant to the group now that nadia has come. i never spoke when it was lunch, and never hung out with them anymore.

a lot can change in four weeks.

the only person i'm extremely close to since then is maddie. maddie is my sister and my new bestfriend. we were already close, but got even closer now.

she understands what i'm going through right now. it's painful, seeing your bestfriends hangout with someone new and you're the ghost of the group.

no one cares about you now, they'll pretend you don't exist, and even avoid you if it gets that bad.

i miss johnny. i miss lauren. i miss all of them.

yeah, i still sit with them at lunch and all that, but i don't talk at all anymore. they don't acknowledge the fact that i'm there.

johnny was the closest to me? well, not anymore. lauren? there's not much friendship left there. i only speak to her once a week.

brynn? every few times a week. ruby still talks to me, more than they do. carson, joey, hayden? i don't even talk to them at all.

i just want to be taken away from the world now. there was once in those four weeks, where i realized something.

i realized that i like johnny orlando.

but guess what? there's nothing i can do about it. especially when he's your bestfriend- i mean ex bestfriend, and he will never like you.

maddie knows. she wants me to date him just like mom does. everyone wanted us to date. by now i bet they all ship jadia. all except maddie and mom.

maybe i should tell ruby. she's adorable, and understands everything.

ashton and her are dating now. joey and lauren? closer than ever. brynn and carson? they're a thing, they flirt here and there.

johnny and nadia? whatever i don't even care.

but i know there is a slight part of me that does, and it's called jealousy.

i don't hate or dislike nadia. i have a good heart in me and if they're happy, then they are.

i want this pain to go away.

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well we got real in this chapter, no one acknowledges kenzie.

the part where i talk about pain of having someone new in your friend group and you're the ghost now, completely came from my heart. i have experienced that.

but then i figured out that they were all too toxic for me, so i left them and made new friends.

it is painful, trust me, you'll get through it.