my first and last // chensung✓

eleven | therapy sessions w/ friends

❝ i'll swear upon the rest of my life. ❞

zhong chenle | sat, august 25.
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"SO, TALK TO me, lele."

jisung sat down in the chair across the table, placing two bowls of chocolate ice cream in front of them.

chenle bit his lip, staring at the ice cream for a moment. he didn't really know where to start or what to say at all. he knew jisung was probably wondering how this breakdown started, so he began there.

"i took a nap after school yesterday. it lasted a few hours, which was weird because my naps never take very long. when i woke up i just felt it, you know?"

jisung watched for any signs of discomfort in chenle's face and nodded, gesturing for him to continue. he took a bite of ice cream.

"it's worse than normal, though. i just feel really heavy, but empty at the same time. just thinking about about going out or doing something makes me want to cry. my heart keeps dropping, kind of like how it does when you're watching a really sad movie."

to be honest, chenle was never one for speaking about his feelings. he was never good at expressing the way he felt, and he thought it would just come off as annoying or burdensome. he often kept his emotions to himself, fearing that he'd be judged or pushed away. he knew that jisung wasn't the best at helping either, but he was a good listener.

"when i came over last night i wasn't really thinking. i just started crying, i guess. i don't know why. so my first reaction, once i calmed down a bit of course, was to come here."

jisung sighed, placing his ice cream bowl down with a 'clink' and ruffling his hair.

chenle sat still, his fingers still wrapped around the spoon. he didn't necessarily look sad, he didn't feel sad, but he just sat there.

"do you think," jisung started, "do you think you'll still be able to perform tomorrow?"

"honestly?" chenle chuckled. "no, i don't. but i'm not going to give up. i'll still try my hardest to put on a good performance. i can't let my parents nor myself down just because i'm having a bad time."

jisung hummed, knowing that chenle was probably beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable with the mini therapy session. he got up, having finished his cold treat, and scooted next to chenle. they were both halfway off of the chair, but neither minded. jisung grabbed the ice cream bowl in front and raised the spoon to chenle's lips with a mischievous grin. "'kay, now eat your ice cream."

chenle broke out into a giggle fit, struggling to open his mouth wide enough for jisung to fit the spoon in. jisung smiled.

"that's what i wanted to hear."
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chenle was pulled immediately into a group hug as renjun and jaemin walked through the door. he had just gotten out of the shower, his hair still wet, and he was already being attacked?

"oh, lele, baby come here! you're okay, right?" renjun bombarded him with quite a few questions in mandarin, leaving jaemin and jisung to watch in confusion. chenle rolled his eyes, hugging renjun back. "yes, ge, i'm fine."

renjun hugged him for a few seconds more before pulling away and observing chenle's face like a mother who hasn't seen her son in years. he sighed in relief when he noticed that the tear tracks and puffy eyes had disappeared, although he was still visibly upset. renjun pecked his forehead and pulled away, looking at the two koreans.

"now that i know my child is alive," renjun searched the living room with his hands on his hips.

he wanted to find something to do in jisung's house that would distract chenle well enough to make him feel happier.

"can we play monopoly?"

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a/n:
i'm gonna be honest with you. this chapter was so hard to find a decent ending to so sorry if it sucks.

also i'm on a ROLL with theses updates. i updated today, yesterday, and the day before, plus tomorrow. i should probably space them out a bit but i'm impatient (:

makatea-

makatea-