This Cold Empty House Full of Secrets - Soviet Union Short

Part 3 - Lithuania

Lithuania

Some people smoked to calm themselves. Some listened to music. Some read books. Toris took deep breaths of frigid air.

In. Out. In. Out.

"Toris, come with me..."

No. No, no, no. Toris would not think of that. He could not.

In. Out. In. Out.

It was all calm here, next to the small frozen river. It was still very early, only five thirty in the morning. But Toris had climbed out of his window the moment he heard Ivan's footsteps recede, unable to survive in the stuffy house. He needed air. He needed calm. Leaving the house was like coming up for air after a long dive below water.

"Boo!"

Toris screamed and jumped up, turning around quick as a bullet. However, instead of Ivan or Natalya or one of the other demons in that house, he saw only Feliks, the baker's son, who had decided to become Toris' friend the moment he saw him.

"That was, like, really good, wasn't it?" Feliks laughed brightly, breath visible in the air, cheeks red from cold. "Wasn't it, Toris? Wasn't..." then he saw Toris' face. "Oh. Are you okay?"

Toris opened his mouth to reassure Feliks that he was fine, that nothing was wrong, that he was happy and safe in the Braginsky house, like he always told everyone, but found that he could not. Instead, he broke down into sobs, and he wasn't even really sure why.

"Whoa! Toris, what...?" Feliks knelt next to him, his hands flitting around, first patting his head, then resting on his hand, then finally rubbing his back. It was obvious that Feliks was trying to help, which just made Toris cry louder for some reason.

"T- Toris?"

Toris finally found words.. "Feliks, please... please just stay here... for a little while.."

"Of course I will." Feliks said softly, then Toris felt Feliks wrapping his arms around Toris' figure, bringing him closer, warm breath tickling his ear. He instantly felt calmer, for some reason, though he could think of no reason why.

"Deep breaths, Toris. Deep breaths." Feliks whispered, and Toris complied, feeling his tears subside and his breaths become more even.

It was a while after that before either of them said anything, which was the way Toris liked it, but eventually Feliks broke the silence.

"What was that about, Toris?" he asked quietly, his head still buried in Toris' shoulder.

Toris took a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't know." he lied.

Feliks pulled away with a frown. Had his eyes always been so green? "No, you do know." he said softly, brushing a strand of hair away from Toris' face with a touch light as a feather. Toris shivered.

"I can't tell." he whispered, looking down.

"Yes, you can." Feliks said firmly, placing his hands on Toris' shoulders. "You can tell me anything, when you're ready."

Toris parted his lips. He had spent so long burying everything deep down that he had no idea how to find it again. The words simply would not come.

"I..." he started, voice barely audible. His voice hung in the frigid air for a few moments.

"It's okay, Toris."

And Toris could not help but think that when he was with Feliks, when he was looking into his leaf-green eyes, it was.

So he started talking. He told Feliks everything Ivan had ever done to him, everything anyone had ever done to him, and everything he was thinking, everything he wanted to do, how worried he was about Eduard and most of all Raivis, how afraid that he would come back to the house one day to find their blood spilt on the tiles, because that was the only way this whole thing could ever end.