Whore (Oliver Sykes Fanfic)

Fireworks Behind My Eyes

I often found myself not eating a whole lot. Not that I did it on purpose, it was simply due to the fact that I wasn't hungry often. My stomach didn't rumble and growl three times a day, it barely made a noise once a day. And that's what led Ashley to say what she said.
"Being anorexic isn't gonna make you any prettier." Ashley snarled as she bit into her cream cheese smothered bagel. I shrugged.
"Being a bitch won't make you any more prettier either." I glanced over my shoulder at her innocently. "You're welcome." She scoffed and went back to eating. I could feel her hard, cold gaze on the back of my head. Hatred is a odd thing. Hating something meant that you found such a distaste for something that you still obsessed over it. Love or hate, it's still an obsession.
"Why's it feel tense in here?" Tyler asked when he walked into the kitchen. "Oh, hey, Holly, nice to see you eating again." He plopped himself onto the counter.
"It's not like I don't eat. I just eat when no one else is in here." That was true. I ate, but only really late at night. My stomach was always uneasy throughout the day. Tyler shrugged. I poured myself a small bowl of cereal.
"Hey, Ash, are you and Jake still fighting?" Tyler asked Ashley.
"It's not a fight. We broke up." It was a fight. Their cycle affected everyone in the house. The late-night arguments, the hitting of each other, the rough sex that could be heard throughout the whole house; it was sickening. I began eating my cereal, abandoning the whole conversation all together.
"Oh, look who came out of her bed." Missy rolled her eyes as the words filtered out of her mouth. She went over to Ashley. "I'm surprised the noob is even still here. I was convinced she'd quit after the first month."
"Why'd you think she'd quit?" Tyler asked her. Oh, Tyler was a naive boy. For him being twenty-one, he couldn't seem to put two and fucking two together.
"Because she's a weak, little, bitch who couldn't make a guy cum if she wanted to." Ashley replied easily. The words a pool of poison that I wouldn't just dive into.
"Damn, good one." Missy high-fived Ashley after that. I was more than used to Missy being a tad two-faced. Me and her could talk for hours about nothing, but when we were done talking, she went back to her bitchy demeanor.
"Even if I would've quit, that wouldn't have changed anything. You'd still be a bitter skank that can't stay committed to her man." I drank the milk left in my bowl. "You can keep spitting your hateful words at me, because, truthfully, I don't care about your opinion." I left the kitchen and almost ran into Jake.
"What'd you say about my girlfriend?" Jake asked me, his voice low and angry. I gulped and mustered up all the confidence in my body.
"I said she's a bitter skank who can't stay committed to her man." I repeated, my voice not shaking in the slightest. He raised his eyebrows at me, anger still in his eyes.
"And you were stupid enough to repeat it. Wow." In a flash, he'd picked me up and threw me to the ground. I landed on my ass with a thud. Tyler's eyes were wide.
"Dude what the fuck? You don't do shit like that." Tyler stood and came over to me. "Hey, you okay?" I didn't get a chance to reply before I felt a thin, stiletto heel press into my back.
"Fucking bitch!" Ashley yelled down at me, kicking me again. I screamed. Where was Madame? Wouldn't she hear what was going on? Tyler stood and pulled Ashley away from me. But Missy then just started punching at me and slapping me. Her acrylic nails digging into my skin. "Get her Missy!"
"You're nothing but a whore! Stop thinking anyone likes you because news flash, no one does!" Missy punched me and I felt the blood spilling from my nose. I coughed and tried to sit up so I could get away from her. Tyler was holding Ashley back and Jake wasn't gonna tell her when enough was enough. I began to cry, actually, I was bawling. Like a two-year old denied a new toy. It hurt.
Blood from my skin had seeped onto the floor and so had my dignity. But I think my dignity had been lost the first time I'd taken money for sleeping with someone. I just turned my head as Missy continued to hurt me. My tears mixed in with blood and all could taste was copper. Suddenly, Missy was pulled off of me by Shay.
"What the living fuck is going on here?" Shay yelled. I sniffled and sat up, my chest heavy with the breaths I'd been holding in. He'd sounded so angry, I could hardly believe that it was Shay screaming. "Well? Is someone gonna answer me or do I have to tell Madame?"
"No need to tell me." Madame's cool and calm voice fell into the silence that had followed Shay's question. She was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, a cigarette in between two fingers. She took a long drag from her cigarette and blew the smoke out slowly. She knew that she had all of our's attention and was toying with us. "You all do know you're replaceable, right? There's always someone down on their luck willing to do anything."
"Madame, it was Holly's fault!" Ashley blurted out. I looked to Ashley. Was it really? I didn't initiate the conversation. I spoke truth towards her and she just couldn't handle it.
"Doesn't matter who's fault it is. I have a beaten whore on the floor there, and I have six others standing around like they did nothing wrong." Madame let her gaze drift from person to person. "Shay, go clean up Holly. Everyone else, come with me." With that, she turned and went back into her office, the others following behind her, like dogs with their tails between their legs. Shay helped me up from the floor and to the bathroom.
"Thanks for uh, helping me." I mumbled as Shay patted an alcohol soaked cotton ball against my face.
"No problem, Holly. Remember? I owed you one anyway." Shay flashed me a small smile. I laughed a little.
"For what?" I asked him. He gave me a look that read 'are-you-kidding-me-right-now'.
"Remember when there was a storm, and you let me sleep in bed with you? Yeah, everyone else here would have told me to just grow up, but you didn't." Shay reminded me. My eyes widened at the memory. It had been one of my first days there.
"I remember. Why are you scared of storms though? Storms are beautiful." I asked him. He shrugged.
"When I was really young, my family and I were in a car crash. It'd been during a storm and my parents were arguing. So my dad pulled the steering wheel. The car careened off the road and flipped. I was the only one who survived." He spoke the tragic words as if they were a slip of the tongue. "Ever since, I haven't been a fan of storms."
"I'm so sorry. That's horrific." I whispered. He flashed me a small half-smile.
"It's okay. I was only eight, so it's okay." That explained why Shay was like a young kid. He acted like the age he wishes he could go back to. I kissed Shay's cheek, and he laughed. "I don't get why they hate you, Holly. You're pretty nice, or at least you are to me."
"I don't either. I don't even think I did anything to them." I admitted. "Were they always like that?"
"Missy? Yeah, but I'd never seen her actually attack anyone. She usually just made snide, rude, comments towards others, but no one ever paid her any attention. Ashley was like a big sister to everyone, but lately, she's just been bitter."
"Do you think that's because of me?"
"Not really. I think you're more of a perfect target for them to just hurt." Shay sighed and stood back, looking into my eyes. "Don't let them get to you."
"I won't." I slid off of the bathroom counter and the two of us walked out of the bathroom. Shay's words had reminded me of what Oli had said the other night to me. A perfect target. I waved to Shay and went downstairs, passing by Madame's office where I saw Tyler, Missy and Jake standing outside the door, awaiting their turn to see the Madame. I dropped my gaze and went into the library, looking for Oli.
I found him in the 'cooking and crafts' section of the library. He was sitting on the floor, a book in front of him. He turned a page and then shut the book.
"Hi, Holly." He mumbled, looking up at me. I sighed.
"How'd you know it was me?" I asked him. He raised an eyebrow at me.
"You're the only person who comes in here." He stood up and stretched. "So what do you want?"
"I feel really bad. Like I got into a fight with Ashley and Missy earlier-"
"So that explains the yelling. I hadn't wanted to ask what happened to your face." He reached out, running his thumb across my busted lip. "I take it they won?"
"Shut the fuck up. I feel bad because Madame stopped them from continuing to pound my face in." I explained. He blinked.
"Okay, so? They're being punished for hurting you. Why do you feel bad? Because they obviously didn't." Oli dropped his hand from my face and placed his book onto a random shelf nearby.
"True, but I just don't want them to be kicked out. They all have feelings and reasons."
"So do you, and they didn't give a shit about that."
"Shay told me that they did it because I was a perfect target." Oli turned and looked at me for a second. He didn't say anything for a few painfully silent seconds.
"I can understand that. Yeah, you kind of are." He chuckled. "It's okay."
"Aren't you gonna try to comfort me? I feel bad and you're just kind of laughing it off as if what I'm feeling isn't important?"
"The fuck do you want me to say? How many times have I told you; I'm terrible at showing my feelings." He ran a hand through his hair. "C'mere." I stepped closer to him. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him. "What you're feeling is important, okay? I'm sorry for acting as if it wasn't."
"Thank you." I mumbled back, my arms wrapped around him as well. He kissed me on the forehead gently. "So why are you in the craft section?" We both let go of the other.
"It's all about perspective." He started. "I may see a can, while someone else could see a potential pencil holder. Close your eyes."
"Okay?" I shut my eyes, a bit confused as to what my vision being cut off had to do with anything.
"Now, rub your fists against your eyelids. What do you see?" He asked me. I did as I'd been told to do.
"I see little fireworks." I told him. Behind my eyelids I could see small sparkles of cells inside my body. Like fireworks behind my eyes.
"You see little fireworks, I see purpose. Matter. You matter. You're alive. Do you get what I'm saying?"
"Is this a pep talk?"
"Yes and no. Crafts are created from something that someone saw as trash. You see books, I see alternate universes. You see purpose in others, I see purpose in you. Is anything I'm saying making sense to you?" He asked me. I nodded slowly. "The fireworks prove you're alive. And that in itself is amazing. Keep living."
"I'm not sure you answered my question."
"I did. My answer is perspective. Depending upon how you look at things, my answer can change." He grinned smugly. "But no matter what, my message to you stands clear."