things only you know | camren au [completed]

Part Three

a/n: this is a very, very late birthday gift to my good pal, taller-smol. she didn't rly ask for this as a present, but it's what she's getting from me.

tw: mention of shooting (imma point it out when it gets closer)

--

You're back in your apartment, but your mind is stuck on what has happened in the last few days. In the short amount of time that you've spent with Lauren, she's managed to turn your world upside down and wreak havoc in the peace of mind you thought you've successfully created for yourself.

You were so close in believing that you've moved on. That two years have been more than enough time to forget about someone who's forgotten everything about you. That your heart no longer beats for her, aches to be with her, breaks with every second that passes that you're not with her. That you can finally breathe without feeling like the air that's rushing into your lungs is only there to suffocate you.

You were so close.

And you've even taken solace in the fact that she doesn't remember you when you found out that you were going to see her again. That, maybe, the fact that she's not trying to intentionally hurt you, the fact that you lost her not because of something you did, but that the two of you are mere victims of the hands of fate, is something you could at least take some comfort in. It's not that she didn't want you anymore. She's merely forgotten, none of this is in her control after all.

But then you couldn't even have that. You couldn't even take comfort in the fact that she doesn't remember you, because if there's anything that the last few days have hinted at you, it's the possibility that she might not have completely forgotten everything.

You know you really shouldn't hang onto such a thin thread of hope, but you can't help the warm glow that's budding at the base of your chest, seeping through the cracks of its broken pieces and filling your heart with a familiar warmth when you think about how she's not lost the ability to find your eyes across a crowded room. How she reaches for your hand out of instinct only to pull back when she catches herself. How she knows to send that smile. The kind that she's only ever directed at you.

How she didn't even hesitate to take your hand in hers and run her thumb along your knuckles in the way that she's always done whenever you were anxious.

You don't want to be so hopeful but you can't help it.

So you call the one person that's always understood you better than anyone else outside of Lauren.

"Hey Chanch, what's up?" You can't help the smile that forms on your lips at the sound of your best friend's voice.

"Nothing," you respond with a shrug even though you know she can't see you. "Just wanted to check on how married life is treating you."

"Really now?" She's not even trying to pretend like she buys your bullshit for one second.

"Yeah, of course!" Your pitch is a little high but it doesn't stop you from trying to delay what you really want to ask. You're afraid the conversation that'll ensue won't be as ideal as the hope that keeps forming in your chest without your permission.

Dinah seems to contemplate if she wants to keep playing this game before she answers in a way only she knows how to. "Everything is absolutely amazing. Forget what they tell you about married sex. It's even better."

"Dinah!"

"And now that that's out of the way. Can you tell me what you really wanted to talk to me about?"